Wyatt chuckled. 'And I firmly support your right to do so. I will speak with Kelly again about deviating from the script.'
Phoebe seemed to relax a little, now that she knew that matter was settled.
Wyatt sat on the opposite end of the sofa, not too close. 'Want to talk about what else is bothering you?'
'Wyatt, I can't work here anymore.'
'What?' That wasn't what he'd expected to hear. He'd thought she might rant and rave a little. Yell at him. Put him in his place. He certainly hadn't anticipated her resignation.
'I can probably get my job back at the spa. I thought I could handle this, but it's too close to the life I left behind in L.A. And I left it behind for a reason.'
'What reason?'
'I didn't like myself very much when I was an actress. I slept my way into that role as Vanessa Vance. Oh, I guess I cared something for the guy. I even thought I loved him. But he told me, when we broke up, that the only reason he gave me the part of Vanessa was because I was good in bed.'
Wyatt winced. He didn't like hearing this. Of course he'd known Phoebe had experience, but he didn't want to hear a blow-by-blow.
'There were other times, too, when I was intimate with someone I shouldn't have been. Sometimes it was just easier not to fight the tidal wave.'
'You don't have to tell me this.'
'I want to. There are lots of things I should have told you before now. But I think it's too late.'
He wanted to argue with her. He wanted to hold her in his arms, comfort her. She was so achingly beautiful, even with her hair in braids. But he didn't do anything except sit there because he was too afraid of mangling things even worse than they already were.
'So, you misspent your youth. A lot of people do that. Does that really mean you can't work on the show? I need you.'
'I can't work so close to you. It hurts.'
'It only hurts because we're not together.'
'We can't be together.'
'Why not?' He barely whispered the words.
'Because… because you'll never see me as anything but-'
'Bull. I see what you show me. Try again, because that's a cop-out.'
'Because I'm not ready to let anybody love me. It's like Jane says-I have to work on myself first.'
They'd never talked about love, but the moment she said the word, Wyatt knew it was there, glittering between them, tempting but somehow forbidden.
'When will you be ready? When you've got your college degree? When you start your business? When you make a million dollars? When?'
'I don't know.'
'Well, while you're figuring that out, you can also chew on this. I love you, Phoebe. I don't care what your IQ is, or whether you have a college degree, or how many men you've slept with, or what size bra you wear, or even whether you're called Phoebe or Adelaide. I love the essence of you.
'So you think about it, and you just let me know when you're ready for a real man to love you. And if the answer is never, then congratulations. You're destined for a long and very lonely life.'
He left before he said anything else. He hadn't meant to be so hard on her. But if he hadn't forcefully stated his case, she would have slipped right through his fingers.
She might, anyway.
'I didn't know you would be so sensitive about it,' Olga said, sitting in the passenger seat of Phoebe's car on their way home from the show. 'I'm proud of you and I just wanted to show you off.'
'You're proud of who I used to be.'
'No, that's not it. I'm proud of everything you've done and all you've turned out to be. I'm very excited about your cosmetics company. I just didn't understand, before, what a big deal this science stuff is for you.'
Phoebe smiled. 'Thank you, Mama.'
'I think I understand a little better now why it's so important to have a career or a bobby or a cause. I used to think those were things a woman did when she couldn't find a man.'
'Or as an excuse for keeping men at arm's length,' Phoebe murmured.
'What?'
'Nothing. Go on.'
'I never realized that taking care of your own spiritual and intellectual needs would actually make you
'You sound like a true convert.'
'Listening to those other women-the happy ones with boyfriends and husbands-convinced me. Jane convinced me.'
'That Jane is a pretty smart lady.' Phoebe pulled her car up in front of Mesa Blue. 'I should be home from class around four. We can go out for dinner or something before I have to take you to the airport.'
'Okay.' Olga hugged her. 'You go study hard. I want to see straight As on that report card, young lady.'
Phoebe tried not to laugh. Olga had never cared a whit what grades Phoebe made in school.
Richie was waiting for her with a sub sandwich, when Phoebe arrived at the university.
'I thought you were mad at me,' she said, as they settled onto the library steps to eat lunch.
'I got over it. It'd be pretty stupid to stay mad at you when you're the only reason I'm passing this class.' He tugged on one of her braids and smiled.
Yeah, it was stupid to stay mad, she decided. Wyatt had left the door open. He'd said he loved her, something she'd tucked away in her heart for further study-later, when she had a moment of quiet time. All she had to do now was walk through that door.
But she couldn't do it halfway. Wyatt wanted all of her, body and soul, warts and all. If she wasn't prepared to put it all on the line for him, she might as well not bother.
When Phoebe got home later that day, the first thing she noticed was that Olga's wreath was back on the door. But there was something different about it. Olga had added a few things-a tiny test tube, a miniature textbook with
Phoebe laughed out loud even as the thoughtful gesture brought tears to her eyes. How had her mother ever come up with those things on such short notice?
When she entered her apartment, she got another surprise. She heard two women laughing in the kitchen, and when she followed the laughter she found Olga and Frannie kneading dough together.
'Frannie?' Phoebe said in surprise.
'Oh, Phoebe, your mother is so funny. Do you know what she just said? She just said-'
'I thought she was 'that Jersey Blonde'!'
'That was before I saw her on 'Heads Up' this morning. Oh, my gosh, she is so much like me it's uncanny. All those things she was saying-it could have been me. And I knew exactly where she was coming from-'
'And I wasn't going to go home without apologizing to your friend,' Olga cut in. 'I didn't mean to break up her romance with Bill.'
'Olga's showing me how to make authentic Danish. As if my waistline needs it!'
Olga waved a finger at Frannie. 'Uh-uh-uh, no cutting yourself down. Remember what Jane says. We have to stop worrying about being perfect and love ourselves just the way we are.'
'Oh, you're so right.'
'Did you patch things up with Bill?' Phoebe asked Frannie.
