Riley. She was holding his hands. Strong hands, capable, skilled, loving. Hands that had made her feel…
Don’t go there. He didn’t want her. Last night was all she could have of him.
Deep breath. He’d been there for her. He’d saved her life.
She was halfway to falling in love with him, she thought. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
He didn’t want her, but he was alone. The thought was suddenly unbearable. And with that…
If all that was left for him was his daughter, she’d fight for Lucy. She’d give him a family whether he wanted it or not.
‘Lucy is your family,’ she said. ‘You just have to let her see you care.’
‘I don’t have a choice. You’ve landed me with everyone!’ It was an explosion of vented frustration and anger. It caught them both on the raw.
Silence.
She could respond with anger. With hurt.
This was too important for either.
‘Riley, let’s get things in perspective,’ she said, somehow keeping her voice even. ‘You’re not stuck with us. Not for ever. Last night was what I needed to let me move on. It’s made things hard between us but not impossible. I don’t have a money problem. I need to stay here until Amy goes but that’s the extent of it. I would like to stay working in Whale Cove-with you, if that’s possible, as part of your team, but that doesn’t mean I’m part of your life. I’ll get my own apartment. Amy will go back to Dry Gum. I suspect Lucy and Adam will want their own place as well. This is temporary and I haven’t stuck you with anything.’
‘Pippa, I didn’t mean…’ He tugged away and raked his hair again. ‘Last night…’
‘No,’ she said evenly. ‘You did mean. But we’re mature adults. We don’t need to let one night mess with our working relationship. And you don’t need to see me as the bad guy in what’s happened.’
‘I don’t. Of course I don’t. But… You seriously think we can work together?’ And this was the other non- negotiable. He had a daughter. She wanted to work in Whale Cove. ‘I want to be a Flight-Aid nurse,’ she said, flatly and definitely. ‘I’ll do whatever that takes, Riley Chase, including never again thinking about what happened last night. Agreed?’
‘There’s no choice.’
‘Of course there’s a choice,’ she said, and she managed to smile. ‘You can walk out that door right now. Pick up your minimal baggage and your surfboard and walk away.’ She glanced around the bare walls with distaste. ‘It’ll be just as it was before you arrived-you’ll have left no trace. But I’m staying in this town. For now I’m here to take care of Amy, and if you go then I’ll look after Lucy and Adam, too. Because…’
She squared her shoulders and she made herself sound a lot stronger than she felt. ‘Because, do you know, I want those ties,’ she said. ‘I want pictures on my walls. I want mess, baggage, a sense of belonging. Being a Flight-Aid nurse… it’s what I’ve been wanting for a long time and I won’t let it go. It feels like home.’
‘It’s a job.’
‘It’s home,’ she said stubbornly. ‘So now… I can see some flowers growing on the cliff face. I have no idea what they are but I’m heading out to pick a bunch. Then I intend to try and make a chocolate cake. I’m the world’s worst cook but it feels like the right thing to do. I may only be in this house for a couple of weeks but from this moment on… as long as I’m working for Flight-Aid then I’m home.’
He was called out that night and it was almost a relief.
He wasn’t supposed to be on duty. Jake and Sue-Ellen and Mardi were on call over the weekend, but at four in the morning Jake rang.
‘Fisherman off the rocks at Devil’s Teeth,’ he said. ‘Wife’s only just contacted the police. He was due home at dusk. What was she thinking, waiting this long? Cops have found his gear washed up on the rocks-looks like he was hit by a wave, swept straight in. Sue-Ellen says she can’t hack it. Going down ropes, getting bodies… She’s hit a wall. She’ll do it if you can’t, but she’s asking…’
It was almost a relief. He’d been lying in bed staring at the ceiling, trying not to think how close Pippa was. Yes, there was a bedroom between them, but that was two thin walls away. If he lay still he could imagine her breathing.
He wouldn’t mind betting she was staring at the ceiling as well, and when he dressed and headed out, he found it was a variation of a theme. She was on the veranda, staring out at the ocean.
She heard his footsteps, boots on bare boards. He was in full uniform. It was a bit hard to disguise where he was headed.
‘Problem?’ She turned and she was wearing a negligee so tiny it took his breath away. Or… maybe it wasn’t exactly tiny. It reached her knees. But it clung. The moon was almost full and he could see her body silhouetted beneath the soft silk.
He had work to do. Dreadful work. He couldn’t afford to be distracted by a woman in a silk nightdress.
‘You want me to come?’ she said.
‘No need.’ He sounded brusque and tried to soften it. ‘I’m filling in for Sue-Ellen with the other crew.’
He had a couple of moments to explain. It took Mardi five minutes to get from her home to the helicopter pad. It took him two. He told her and saw her flinch.
‘So go,’ she said, and he knew she was reliving her time in the water.
‘It won’t count so much tonight,’ he said grimly. ‘He went off the rocks at Devil’s Teeth, not a calm beach like you did. For him to survive in that water for more than half an hour would be almost impossible and it’s been at least eight. There’s not a lot to be done but pick up the pieces. Go back to bed.’
‘Oh, Riley…’
‘Go back to bed.’
How could she go back to bed? She made tea, let it get cold and she didn’t notice. Things were happening inside her that she hardly understood, that she had no idea how to deal with. Riley had stood in the living room in his Flight-Aid uniform, shrugging on his sou’wester, readying himself for what lay ahead. He needed a shave. He didn’t look as if he’d slept. He looked big and bad and dangerous… only he was on the side of good.
He was off to haul a body from the sea. It was what he did.
He’d seemed more alone than anyone she’d ever met.
Things were settling inside her. Things she didn’t necessarily want.
Was that just neediness speaking? The neediness that had seen her reluctant to leave the hospital she’d trained in because that was where her friends were, and friends were the only family she’d ever truly known? The neediness that had finally had her agreeing to marry Roger, because he was her friend, she could have children, she could be part of… something?
The something she’d found here. Riley’s team. This hospital. The Outback clinic. Something that called her.
Like Riley called her. Like Riley made her feel.
She was falling…
She’d fallen.
When?
Back in hospital, when she’d woken and seen him at the end of the bed, smiling at her, reassuring her that she was solidly grounded, she was safe, the nightmare was over?
When she’d watched him tease the children at his Outback clinic, making injections a source of fun, a test of bravery that all could face?
When she’d watched him hug Joyce goodbye, his deep affection for the elderly nurse obvious to all of them?
When he’d held her in his arms and blown the terrors away with the heat of his body? When he’d made love to her with tenderness, passion, wonder?
Or when she’d watched him with his daughter, not knowing where to start but wanting so much? Needing so much.
He was on the outside looking in, she thought. For Pippa, who’d been a loner herself, it was an identity she knew too well, and maybe that was what was making her heart twist.
But it wasn’t just the one thing making her heart twist, she thought. It was all of him. The complete package. Doctor, lifesaver, father, lover.