‘It’s none of your business.’
‘And neither is my money any of your business. What earthly difference does it make?’
‘Why are you working?’
‘Because I want to.’ She was almost yelling. Almost but not quite. ‘I left my job to marry Roger. The deal was that we’d have a long honeymoon, then we’d go back to London and, guess what, I’d find another job. Nursing. I love what I do. Believe it or not, I love it a lot more than I ever loved Roger. And guess what? I’ve fallen in love again, only this time I’ve fallen in love with Flight-Aid. With the whole package. With Whale Cove Hospital, with Jancey, with Coral, with nurses who care so much they don’t even see the end of their shifts coming. Who see the place as an extension of their lives; their community.’
‘That’s not-’
‘Shut up and let me finish,’ she said. ‘Because I need to say it. Because I love what you do, too, and I’m not intending to walk away from it. I love the search and rescue component of the job-all the worthwhile things. I sneaked into the hospital when I went for a walk this morning and I talked to Jancey. I know what you did for that family last night. You got his body back so they could grieve, but more. You stayed with them. You talked them through their grief. You made George’s body presentable so by the time they saw him he didn’t look like he’d died in terror. And then you cared for Maria, you reassured her, you were just there. Jancey says sometimes you doubt that a doctor should be on these search and rescue missions, but everyone here thinks exactly that.’
‘This is nothing to do with-’
‘Me? Yes, it is, because I’m a Flight-Aid nurse. I’ve signed Coral’s contract. And there’s more. Joyce’s clinic. Her house-cum-hospital. It took my breath away. I want to be a part of that so much it’s like a part of me I didn’t know was missing. And I will be a part of it. Jancey says there’s two complete crews, two medical teams who cover inland settlements. She says if you and I can’t get along then we’ll swap teams. Mardi can come to you and I’ll go on Jake’s team.’
‘You talked to Jancey? About me?’
‘Everyone talks about you,’ she said wearily. ‘Everyone worries abut you. They love you, Riley Chase, only you don’t get it. You do this loner thing and no one can get near. Jancey says you had the pits of a childhood. Alcoholic mother. No parenting to speak of. One of the older nurses knew your mother and she said-’
‘I don’t have to listen to this.’
‘No, you don’t,’ she said. ‘Like I don’t have to listen to you saying my medicine is a plaything. I’ve come from money and neglect; you’ve come from poverty and neglect. Either way, we’ve ended up here. The only difference is that I intend to make here my home. I’ll buy an apartment here and you know what? I won’t need Adam and Lucy and Amy to make it a home for me because I’ll do it myself. Oh, and by the way, while you’re busy getting your knickers in a twist, here’s something else to get on your high horse about. I’m about to throw more money about. I’m about to set up a trust for Joyce’s House. I’ll use whatever I need to set it up as an accredited hospital. I’ll do it anonymously but I’d imagine you’ll find out, so you might as well despise me now. Not for the act. For having the capacity to do it. For what I was born into rather than what I am.’
He didn’t speak. He stood staring at her in the moonlight like she was someone he didn’t know-and didn’t want to know.
‘I know how Lucy’s mother and grandparents treated you,’ she said, her anger finally fading at little as she remembered the bald outline Lucy had told her. She had every right to be angry, but money had messed with so much of her life that in a way she understood his confusion. His emotion. If she could come to this man on his terms…
But there was no way she could. Her money was there, like it or not. She would help Joyce, and she would help other communities, even if it meant Riley looked at her the way he was looking at her now.
‘I’m not my money, Riley,’ she said softly. ‘That’s not me. I’m who you pulled out of the water, a woman at the end of her life, a woman with nothing. But one thing this week has taught me is that I only have one chance at life. And Flight-Aid is what I want. But you know what? There’s a part of me that wants more. There’s a part of me that wants…’
She faltered. She couldn’t say it. He was a stranger, standing aloof against the balcony rail, a shadow against the moonlight and the fluorescence of the sea.
He didn’t want anything. He didn’t want the posters and curtains and the accoutrements of home.
What was she doing, being angry with him? She had no right. He’d made love to her only because she’d been needy.
She had to move on.
‘I’ll stay here for as long as Amy needs me,’ she said, making her voice even, almost calm. ‘You’re stuck with me until then and I’m sorry. I invited Amy here and that was a mistake. I should have got an apartment for her and for me. But moving now… I don’t think that’s possible without heartbreak. So I’ll stay here and we’ll lead separate lives. On Monday I’ll talk to Coral about being rostered onto a different crew from you. We’ll work apart. That’s the best I can do, Riley, but I won’t do more than that. I can’t walk away completely.’
She closed her eyes and bit her lip. This was so hard.
Just say it.
No.
Yes. Why not?
Why not be honest?
‘I can’t walk away because I’ve fallen in love,’ she said softly now, but with her dignity intact. ‘With Flight Aid, with Jancey, with Amy, with Whale Cove.’
Deep breath. Just say it.
‘And I’m very close to falling in love with you,’ she whispered. ‘Because… there’s this connection. I don’t get it, I can’t figure out why I’m feeling it, but I am. Like we’re linked. Our backgrounds. Something. I’m sorry but there it is. Honesty on all fronts. But I’m a big girl. I’ve walked alone all my life and I’m good at it. I know you don’t want whatever I’m feeling, and that’s more of a reason for me to get myself as apart from you as I can without leaving Whale Cove. So for now… you need to put up with posters, put up with sharing your home, put up with people in your life for another week or so. And then… I’m not sure what you’ll do with Lucy, but that’s up to you and Lucy. For the rest of it I’ll respect your right to be alone.’
‘Pippa…’
‘There’s nothing else to say,’ she said, and then before she could stop herself she stepped forward, took his hands in hers and stood on tiptoe.
She kissed him and it was a kiss of farewell. She wasn’t leaving but she was moving away.
He didn’t respond. He didn’t touch her.
There was nothing else to be said. She released his hands. She walked inside and she closed the door behind her.
CHAPTER TEN
THEY didn’t swap crews. There was no need. Riley simply held himself distant.
Pippa was introduced to full crew membership and she loved it. She loved the work, she loved the remote clinics, and after a couple of days she figured she and Riley could handle a professional, working relationship.
They were both good at holding themselves contained. Practice.
On Tuesday they did a retrieval upcountry-a truck had rolled with three kids in the back. It took all their medical skills to get a good outcome-three kids recovering in Sydney Central-and it felt fantastic.
She could do this.
The house was trickier.
Amy’s Jason arrived late on Wednesday night, dusty and worn from hitchhiking for six hundred miles.
‘I couldn’t wait any longer to see my kid,’ he said simply. ‘I’ll sleep on the beach; I don’t need a bed.’
His boss had told him he could take time off to settle Amy and the baby. Amy was so proud she looked like she might burst, so there was now another mattress on the floor. The pair sat and watched their baby slowly work her
