out a couple of times but it was my earning capacity he was interested in. Not me. Only I was too stupid to see it. Then he met Fiona. Well, that was that. He was obsessed, but he was careful. Incredibly careful. Fiona didn’t want anything to do with him, and he hid his obsession well. He became…loving. And I fell for it. I married him.’
‘Which was a nightmare?’
‘Of course it was a nightmare.’ Her voice was devoid of emotion. Deadpan. It was like she was recounting the story of someone she hardly knew. ‘Alan seemed to understand Fiona. Somehow he knew the only way she’d be interested in him was if I loved him. And there was still the fact that I was a good meal ticket. Anaesthetics is one of the best-paid medical specialties in the country, and greed is Alan’s middle name. Those two reasons, greed and Fiona, were why he married me.’ She gave a harsh laugh that was totally devoid of humour. ‘Well, why else? Why else would anyone want the likes of me?’
‘Gemma…’
‘Let me finish,’ she said bleakly. ‘You might as well know the whole sordid business.’
‘Not if it hurts.’
‘It doesn’t hurt.’ And then she shrugged. ‘Who am I kidding? Of course it hurts. It hurts mostly because I was so stupid.’
‘Alan and Fiona…’
‘Were an item almost as soon as we were married,’ Gemma told him. ‘Alan’s reasoning paid off. Fiona wasn’t interested in Alan the accountant. But Alan my husband… That was a different story. Almost as soon as I realised why he’d married me, Fiona took what she wanted. When she was pregnant with Cady she threw it in my face. Once more Fiona triumphed. Once more…’
Nate took a deep breath, hearing the depth of pain in Gemma’s voice. ‘And…’
‘I left Alan, of course, and Alan moved in with Fiona. He had what he wanted. Or he thought he did. But Cady was born, and caring for a baby didn’t fit either of their lifestyles, and, of course, Fiona didn’t really want Alan. After she’d proved she could have him, the fun had gone out of it. Alan was left angry and bitter, reflecting that he’d lost not only Fiona but my lucrative salary. Which he really wanted. And then there was Cady, caught between parents who didn’t give a damn. Fiona knew I’d step in-all she had to do was neglect him and in I’d come. Which I did. But instead of only Fiona using me, now there was Alan.’
‘I don’t see…’
‘He’s Cady’s father. He has rights that as his aunt I don’t have.’
‘So…’
‘Alan might be a successful accountant but he has expensive tastes. Very expensive tastes. And he’s given me an ultimatum. I continue working as an anaesthetist, giving more than half of my income to him, or he’ll take Cady back. It’s not even a choice. It’s a life sentence.’
Nate was staring at her in revulsion. ‘Does he love Cady?’
‘You have to be joking! Love? I don’t think Alan knows what the word means.’
Nate stared down at her in horror, appalled by what he’d just been told. ‘You should have told me.’
‘Yeah, right. This is a sordid little mess that only I can get out of. I thought… Well, since Fiona died I haven’t heard from him. I hoped-desperately-that he’d decided to leave us alone. So when you offered me the job here I thought, Well, why not? A new life. A new beginning. But, of course, he’d know where I was. He works in Administration at Sydney Central. He’d have known that I’d left, and a quick search of medical records would have told him that I’ve been practising here. So here he is, right on cue, ready to hound me back to practising as an anaesthetist. Alan will never be content with what I earn as a country doctor.’
Nate took a deep breath, trying to take it all in. ‘So…’
‘So I go back to the city and get another high-earning job or he’ll take Cady away from me.’
‘He doesn’t want Cady. That much is obvious. He might take him but the novelty would soon wear off…’
‘Leaving me to pick up the pieces. Great. You must see as clearly as I do that I can’t take that risk.’
‘So where does that leave…us?’
Gemma stirred then and for the first time she turned in her bed to look at Nate. Really look at him. Behind her eyes was a desolation that chilled him to the bone.
‘Nate, there is no us.’
‘There must be.’
‘No. Tomorrow I pack my bags and head back to Sydney. I love Cady and I’ll do everything in my power to keep him safe.’
‘Gemma, you can’t keep on paying for ever.’
‘I don’t need to. In another five or six years-if Cady’s been living with me full time-then I might have grounds to be appointed his guardian. But now…if there was legal argument then Alan would win.’
‘You know that for sure?’
‘I’m not a fool. I’ve paid for legal advice. Alan is his biological father and I… I’m just his aunt. His aunt who loves him but his aunt nonetheless. Alan has the resources to care for a child and he has the money to fight for him. Cady’s birth certificate has him named as Cady’s father. Alan was living with Fiona when he was born. So you see? There’s no contest.’
‘Hell.’
‘It is hell,’ she whispered. ‘But, Nate…’
‘Yes?’
‘Thank you for the last two weeks. They’ve been wonderful.’
They had, he thought bleakly. They had.
Suddenly he realised just how wonderful.
She’d changed him, he thought. In a brief two weeks he’d been taught to care for something other than himself. Oh, sure, he loved Graham and he cared deeply about his patients but it wasn’t like this. This need to lift the burdens of the world from Gemma’s shoulders. To take her and love her and set her world to rights.
Knowing he couldn’t.
‘I’ll ring Mike,’ he said harshly. ‘My lawyer friend in Sydney. He’s the one who advised me about Margot.’
Margot. Right. Her ex-boss. The Margot of a world away.
‘There’s nothing you can do,’ Gemma told him. ‘Believe me, I’ve paid for the best legal advice. They played happy families and that closed every legal loophole for me. Fiona and Alan, with Cady in the middle. Cady who didn’t get a look in because they were too busy playing games. Fiona never wanted Cady. She didn’t even want Alan. She just wanted to hurt me.’
‘And Alan?’
‘Alan just wants money.’ She shook her head. ‘I was too stupid to see. I’ve always been so alone. When I met Alan… I had my head in my books trying to pass exams so that I could be an anaesthetist, and Alan was so courteous and charming. He made me laugh. He made me think he cared. But, of course, he just wanted a wife who was going to add to his bank balance.’
‘You can’t go back to him!’
‘Of course I can’t. Even if I did that’s not what Alan wants. He just wants my paycheque.’
‘It’s blackmail.’
‘Yes, but it’s a very effective form of blackmail. I won’t let Cady go back to him.’
‘So call his bluff.’
‘He’ll take him. You don’t know Alan. He’s smooth and clever and nasty. He’ll take Cady-he’s done it once before. Cady was looked after physically. There were no grounds to report him to welfare. No grounds for me to take him away. But Cady…well, he’s not going back there even if I have to pay for the rest of my life.’
‘So where does that leave you and me?’
‘You and me were a dream.’ Gemma closed her eyes and there was such pain in her voice that Nate couldn’t bear it. He caught her hands and held them, willing warmth into their chill. Willing love…
‘I’ll kill the bastard…’
‘Oh, right. That’d help.’ She gave a laugh that was half a sob.
‘Gemma, this is impossible. Let me talk to him. Maybe we-’
‘Maybe we nothing.’ She took a deep breath. ‘There is no we, Nate. This is my problem. Mine. I came down here to give you your daughter. I’ve done that. And I know you’ll love her. You don’t know how much that means to me.’
