could I not? But I kept working. After what she’d done to me… I barely managed it but there were glimmers of my former life left.’
He still didn’t follow. ‘That sounds as if she was angry with you.’
‘Of course she was.’
‘I don’t understand.’
‘She was supposed to be the perfect one,’ Gemma said wearily. ‘And she was. My mother loved her to distraction and I was sidelined. But she was jealous even of that. She was jealous of me from the moment she was born-as if I could ever compete with her. It was crazy, but like a cuckoo in another bird’s nest she’d push aside any sibling that competed for her attention. And when our mother got sick she leaned on me. That drove Fiona crazy- that Gemma, the plain one, should now have what she wanted. Health. And our mother’s dependence. So she fixed me right up. She saddled me with a baby and then…and then when I managed to cope and still have a life-of sorts- she gave me another. And she died doing it.’
Dear heaven…
Nate sat back in his chair. He let what she’d said drift slowly though his mind, trying to assimilate it. He raised his hand and ran his fingers through his thatch of burnt-red curls, fighting for some sanity. Fighting for some reason.
‘I don’t know what to say,’ he said at last. ‘I can’t think.’
‘There’s not much to think about.’
‘Well, that’s a crazy statement,’ he snapped, shock giving way to anger. ‘Not much to think about! When you come in here and present me with the fact that I’m a father…’
‘If you slept with Fiona you must have known fatherhood was a possibility.’
‘Of course I didn’t.’
‘You’re a doctor,’ she snapped back, as angry as he was. ‘You know very well that no contraceptive is perfect. Unless it’s abstinence. And you and Fiona didn’t practise abstinence.’
‘No, but-’
‘But nothing. She’s your baby.’ She rose again and proffered her bundle. ‘Are you going to take her-or are you intending to arrange an adoption? Fiona had this baby to punish me for not being ill. I’ve thought it through. It worked with Cady. I’ve taken him in and I’ve cared for him and I love him to bits. But with Mia…every time I look at her I get angry. That’s no way to rear a child, Dr Ethan. She deserves better than that. So…you’re her daddy. Will you take her-or will you find someone else who’ll love her?’
He did have an option, he thought incredulously. He could just say take her away and she would. She’d hand her over to adoptive parents.
But no. She was way ahead of him.
‘Don’t even think about it,’ she told him flatly, and it was as if she had read his mind. ‘I’m not arranging the adoption. For a start that’d mean taking care of her for longer-and I daren’t take the chance that I’ll grow to love her. And even if I wanted to, I can’t. There are no official documents naming me as her parent. There’s only the birth certificate. Cady’s birth certificate…well, Cady’s certificate landed me right in it, but Mia’s certificate says her mother is deceased and her father is Nate Ethan. You. So as of this moment you’re her sole guardian. Like it or not.’
Carefully, deliberately, she set the sleeping baby on the desk in front of him.
She’d been well cared for, Nate saw in some deep recess of his brain that could still note such things. She was rosy and chubby and beautifully dressed. She’d been loved.
‘How…how old did you say she was?’
‘Four weeks. She should be smiling soon.’
‘And…how long since Fiona…?’
‘Fiona never regained consciousness after the birth. She lapsed into a coma at thirty-eight weeks and the doctors performed an emergency Caesarean. It was all horribly too late. She died the day after delivery.’
He closed his eyes. This was all far too much to take in. Fiona dead?
And he had a daughter.
No! ‘You can’t leave her here!’
‘Watch me.’ She tilted her chin in a gesture of defiance and then handed over a business card. ‘This is where you can find me.’
‘If I need you?’
‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘I’m tired of being needed, Dr Ethan. Cady needs me and that’s all the responsibility I can handle. But if…in future…you want Cady to meet his half-sister…’
Hell. The future stretched before him, vast and unknown. Ten minutes ago his future had been the Terama Jazzfest. Now…
‘You can’t do this.’
‘I can.’ She leaned over the little boy and took Cady’s hand in hers. ‘That’s a great tower,’ she told the little boy. ‘But we need to go.’
‘You’re leaving town?’ Nate’s voice was an incredulous croak and she smiled, not without sympathy.
‘That’s the plan. We live in Sydney and it’s a long drive.’
‘But what the hell am I meant to do?’
‘What I’ve been doing,’ she told him. ‘Shoulder your responsibility. You are a doctor after all. I assume you know baby basics and I’ve checked your background. You have a nice little bush nursing hospital on hand. They’ll have everything you need.’ She laid a bag on the desk beside the sleeping baby. ‘This contains formula, bottles, clothes-everything you need. And now, Dr Ethan, you’re on your own.’
But he wasn’t on his own. Not quite.
From Reception there was the sound of a door opening and then closing, followed by brisk heels tapping across the floor. He’d left the door open just a little. Hannah, his receptionist, had seen his last patient for the day into his rooms and then left. There was no one out there. Except…
The door opened just a little and Donna’s beautiful face peeked around.
‘Yoohoo. Anyone home?’ Her eyes found Nate and she smiled her loveliest smile. ‘Nate, darling, we’re going to be very late. I’ve brought your evening clothes so you can change here and we can get going right now.’
Compared to Fiona, Donna didn’t cut it, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t gorgeous. She was tall, five feet eleven or so, willow thin and beautifully groomed. In fact, she was just the way Nate liked his women. And she was dressed to kill. She was wearing a 1920s costume-a pencil-thin fringed dress which accentuated every gorgeous curve as it shimmered and swayed, and high, high stilettos. Her sleek chestnut bob was adorned with a tiny velvet headband and feather, and she wore beads that reached almost to her hips.
She was some sight! Normally Nate would have whistled his appreciation. But he wasn’t in the mood for whistling.
And Donna should have known better than to barge in on a patient.
‘Donna, I’m busy.’
‘No. No, he’s not busy. Not any more.’ Gemma smiled at the sight of Nate’s girlfriend and held out her hand in welcome. ‘This makes it all perfect. You have a new lady in your life. From what Fiona told me about you I was sure you wouldn’t let grass grow under your feet. How do you do? I’m Gemma. And this is Cady. We’re just leaving. But…’ She eyed Donna’s stunning dress with a wry smile. ‘If I were you, I’d put a cloth over your shoulder if you’re intending nursing Mia in that dress. She does suffer a little from reflux.’
With that she gave them both her very brightest smile, collected Cady and walked out the door.
‘Stop!’
She didn’t.
And Nate moved. Hell, he moved. He’d never moved faster in his life. Gemma had walked out into the reception area but before she could reach the door to the car park he was in front of her, blocking her path.
‘You’re not going anywhere.’
She raised her mobile eyebrows at that. ‘You’re planning on locking me up and throwing away the key?’
‘No.’
‘Then what?’
What? He ran his fingers though his hair and he groaned. ‘Hell.’
