We had reinforced our shelters, much as you have here. After today I can appreciate how small our efforts were against the threat of the fever. We would have been caught unawares. We would have made mistakes.”
“It would be just like here,” Smoke said. “Just like the West, all over again. They just knew what they were in for, that was the only difference. They knew what was coming.”
“The stories we heard, from the border-they did not prepare us, not for what I have seen. I could not imagine…”
His words hung in the air. Cass understood. Until you’d seen a Beater, they way they moved, their childlike hungers and rages, their sheer determination, you could not imagine the terror.
“And Mayhew?” Cass asked, though she had a feeling she knew the rest.
“He sought us out. He went to Davis first because of the horses. Davis owned many horses and he had given many away, for people to ride, but he had kept his finest for himself. Me and Bart, he chose us because we had weapons, and we are strong and young. Mayhew said to us, there is no reason we cannot go to this settlement. Let the others build it. Four more people, that is not a lot-once we arrive, they will not turn us away. These are good people, compassionate people.
“Davis taught us to ride. We stayed out on his ranch, and no one knew what we were doing. We gathered the things we would need. I taught Davis to shoot. The rest of us practiced. We were biding our time, to give the first group time to reach the destination and make everything ready. We thought our chances were best if we arrived around the time of the second wave, when everything was still confusing.
“That was a mistake. Because you see, we were not the only ones to have this thought. We found out about the others. People like us who were not content to be left behind, who were also gathering weapons, and among this group were bad people, killers and criminals. Mayhew tried to meet with them, to reason with them. He said we should split the settlements among us, each group should go to a different one, but there was no agreement. The more Mayhew tried to lead this discussion the more it disintegrated. It almost came to violence. Threats were made.
“We left that night. But Mayhew had an idea. He thought that we should make our numbers stronger, that we should find others-fighters. Survivors. People who already knew how to deal with Beaters. We would take the settlement by force, if we needed to.
“He thought we should come West, for two reasons. First of all, anyone here would have the advantage of experience with the Beaters and the fever. He was convinced we would need that knowledge to survive, even once we made it north. And second, the Western settlement is the harshest, the most difficult conditions. It was taking a chance, because there was some doubt about whether the first party could make it work, that it might not be able to build the infrastructure. But it was for that reason that Mayhew thought the other groups would avoid it.
“The first few days of the trip were difficult, and we made mistakes, but we learned. We lost Jarvis to the Beaters during our first day on this side of the mountains. He…” Nadir paused, his voice roughening. He swallowed before continuing.
“We grew closer. Bart and Davis and I did, anyway. Mayhew…he held himself apart. We did not begrudge him leadership, but we began to see that he could be cruel. The night we saw your flares, we did not come to help you, not the way we said, anyway. But when we found that you were well supplied, and already on the road, he saw a way he could turn this to our favor.”
“But we’re not all strong,” Cass said. “Not warriors. Not what he wanted.”
Nadir frowned and stared at the ground. “No, not all of you,” he agreed softly. “Mayhew planned to take the women and the strongest men only. He was willing to wait a few days, because he thought the difficulty of the travel would soften people up to the idea of leaving the weaker ones behind. But he was ready to kill them if that didn’t happen.”
“He thought-” Cass was incredulous. “Mayhew thought that of us? Even after he got to know us?”
Nadir looked miserable. “We tried-Bart and Davis and I, we tried to tell him…but he didn’t care to listen. In every society, some people get left behind. Not all your people made it off the island, so I guess he was thinking it might work. Anyway, he had other concerns. He wanted, um, more women. More women of childbearing age. He thought-well, that’s why he was so determined to get into the mall. His plan was to take their women too.”
“How the hell did he think he’d accomplish that?” Smoke demanded. “Just walk in and issue an invitation? Hey, girls, wanna come with us?”
“He thought once we’d spent some time with them, maybe there could be a big meeting of the leadership. A bargain could be made. He thought they might be willing to come, a few leaders and some of their women, once he explained about the settlement. And we would leave the weak members of our party there. He said it was humane, you see, because they would be protected, they would have resources.”
The chill of this knowledge traveled through Cass. “And you went along with this?”
Nadir’s expression darkened further. “I am ashamed to say that I did, at first. I was very afraid. Seeing the Beater, what it did to Jarvis…I believed we did not have a chance unless we did what Mayhew suggested. But now…I cannot continue as he wanted to. My heart is not in it.”
“Either that, or you’ve figured out the truth is your only option,” Cass said bitterly. She herself knew how powerful self-preservation could be, but she’d also learned to part with her trust very reluctantly.
“Cass, he’s giving us everything,” Smoke said. “The plans for the settlement, the coordinates, the notes on the conditions. He doesn’t even want to lead. He says he’ll accept whatever role we give him.”
“Oh no,” Cass said angrily. “If we do this, you’re not getting off easy. You know the most about this plan, you’re going to be one of the people making it happen.”
“I have seen what this man can do,” Nadir said, indicating Smoke with a palm placed flat on the step between him. “It would be my honor to follow him.”
“All right-but it can’t just be me,” Smoke said.
Cass was stunned. Since the first day Smoke and she had met, he had been adamant that he did not want to lead. Even in his role overseeing security in the Box, he avoided anything resembling a hierarchy, and rarely told anyone else what to do.
“I’ll do this,” Smoke said, knowing what she was thinking. His blue eyes bored into hers, and when he spoke again, it was only to her. “But you have to convince Dor to do it with me.”
It was the last thing Cass expected. Since the first day on the road, the two men had barely spoken. Cass knew she was the reason. Before, in the Box, they had been each other’s closest confidant, each other’s best friend. Now, they were rivals. They both wanted her-and she did not know what she wanted.
The months in the Box-the time on the island-these were illusory, brief expanses of peace when it sometimes seemed like life returned to the way it had been Before. Except…in the Box Cass had something she’d never had: someone to love, who loved her back. Who loved Ruthie. Who wanted to make a family with her. Wanted to be with her forever…until the day came when he wanted vengeance more, when he left her and Ruthie and their home and their dreams, left everything behind to fight an impossible battle.
With Dor it had been different. They’d never talked about love. The thing between them was dark, needful, sometimes almost violent. It was an affair twisted from the threads of their hungers, their losses, their sorrows. At times it seemed like it inhabited only the fringes of their lives, especially because they always met in secret; but when they were together it expanded to encompass everything. When Dor touched her, everything else fell away, and it was like the world had never broken. No: it was like the world had never existed, like only they existed, in a free fall from time and space and everything they’d known. And yet, when it was over, they parted without promises, without words of love, without even a tender kiss, and they pretended there was nothing there.
Thinking about Dor was an endless loop, a puzzle with no answer. She had to stop.
“What is it that you’re proposing?” Cass asked Nadir.
“We have the location.” Nadir stabbed the paper with his finger. “We have the exact coordinates. We have routes, here. Weather conditions, population density from Before, everything. The first wave should have gotten there a week ago. They’ll be putting up the frames for shelter, figuring out the water source, building cooking facilities and latrines, and fortifying all points of egress. If we stick to the schedule on here, we can be up there in eighteen days.”
Cass examined the stack of printouts, the topographical map on top. “Where is that, anyway?”
“Mount Karuk. Fourth-largest peak in the Cascades. It’s national forest land, so it hasn’t been densely populated, but the site of the settlement-” Nadir pointed to the star inked on the map “-has been used by humans
