Maybe

“Slighted?”

“Insulted. Hurt. Abandoned.”

Callie knows I have abandonment issues.

“You added that last part for my benefit,” I say.

“Everything I said was for your benefit, Donovan.”

I think about that a minute. Then say, “Why do you care if I hurt Miranda’s feelings?”

She shrugs.

“What’s that mean?”

“I’m a woman.”

“When one suffers you all do?”

She gives me an odd look, like maybe I said something intelligent by mistake. She shakes it off and says, “I’m your friend, Donovan. I care about you. I want you to be a better man.”

We look into each others’ eyes. As always when that happens, a surge of warmth floods my body.

Callie says, “Call her back. Tell her to finish shopping. Say you’ll meet her in your other room in an hour. By then the cleaner will be here.”

“Then what?”

“Wait for her to take a long, hot shower. Let her get all dolled up and have her put on one of her new outfits. When she does, tell her she’s so beautiful she takes your breath away.”

“Then what?”

“Then drive her to my place to meet me and Gwen. She’ll think we’re pretty, but she won’t feel threatened.”

“Why would she feel threatened in the first place? She’s a hooker!”

“She’s a woman, Donovan, a woman with deep feelings for you. She wouldn’t give you this much of her time if you weren’t important to her.”

“Anything else?”

“While you’re at my place don’t show Gwen or me the slightest interest. Dote on Miranda the entire time. Brag on her. Be proud of her in front of us. If Gwen happens to make a snotty remark, defend your lady. That’ll make her feel special.”

I nod slowly, then smile. “Everything you said makes perfect sense.”

“You should be used to that by now.”

I laugh.

She laughs.

I ask, “Why are you so eager to help me with this?”

“I…who knows?”

“Tell me.”

“I…I just…” Her hand rises toward her face, but changes direction at the last moment and falls lightly on the highest point of the chair beside her. There’s something different in her eyes. A slight sadness?

And her voice.

She only spoke a handful of words just now, but her voice was different, somehow. It had a certain depth to it. A warmth I’d never heard before.

And excuse me, but did I just witness Callie’s inability to complete a simple sentence?

Something’s changed. Something I can’t quite wrap my brain around. It’s all very mysterious, nebulous, and minute, as if a tiny shift occurred light years ago in a distant galaxy, and finally made its way to the planet Earth, into the room where Callie and I are standing.

I feel a tremor. Something stirring inside me.

Whoa, get your mind out of the gutter. I’m not talking about sex.

This is something vastly more important.

I can’t take my eyes off her. “You were about to say something. Tell me.”

Callie lowers her eyes. “Just that I want the best for you.”

“And?”

“And I always will.”

She raises her eyes and locks them on mine. “I want you to have the best possible life, Donovan.”

She turns away quickly, picks up her purse-handbag-and walks to the door. She gives me one last look before leaving, and says, “I wish this for you with all my heart.”

“Callie?” I say.

But she’s gone.

I close my eyes, replay the scene in my head.

And it hits me.

This place, this time, this conversation. After all these years, it finally comes together for me. Hits me like a ton of bricks. Callie, my one true friend, the only person who’s always been there for me-showed me a side of her she never shows, and…

And it tipped the scale. Made me realize what I’ve known all along, but never allowed myself to acknowledge.

I’m in love with Callie Carpenter.

It’s always been there, under the surface. I’ve always-you know, loved her.

You know. Like a friend. And always thought of her as an amazing, unattainable sexual being. She’s still that, of course. I mean, nothing’s really changed regarding our relationship. Callie’s still my best friend and trusted co- worker. And yes, she’s an unrivaled sexual being. And she’s unattainable as well, due to the fact she isn’t interested in men.

So what’s different?

The only thing different is what I just realized.

I love her!

I’ll keep it from her, of course. Because if I ever said it in her presence, she’d howl with laughter.

And yet…I do love her.

I love Callie.

…And wish I didn’t.

41

WHEN MIRANDA AND I finally make it to Callie’s condo, I do everything Callie recommended, except that when Miranda’s not looking, I try to make eye contact with Callie.

But all night Callie refuses to look into my eyes.

Except once.

It happens after we finish the bottle of wine I brought to the condo a few weeks ago. We’re sitting in Callie’s den, and the conversation has hit a mellow stopping point.

Gwen takes advantage of the silence to ask Miranda, “When you’re fucking, and Creed’s on top, does it feel like old age is creeping up on you?”

Callie says, “I’m sorry, Miranda-”

But Miranda waves her off and addresses Gwen saying, “When Donovan honors me with sex, he’s the only man in the world. It may sound corny to you, Gwen, but he’s my treasure, and I love our time together. When my phone rings and I see it’s him on the line, I feel like the luckiest woman who ever lived.”

That’s when Callie looks me in the eyes.

To underscore the fact Miranda defended me.

Callie says, “Miranda, I can see why Donovan is so attracted to you. You’re beautiful, brilliant, classy, and everything else he bragged about when describing you to me earlier.”