Afterwards

To be fair to the pretty nurse, she’s accompanying him all the time, making him wait while she puts the flowers in the nurses’ station, away from the patients. But are all nurses so cautious?

He follows her towards the section that has Jenny’s bed.

Through the glass wall I see you sitting next to her; Sarah a little distance away.

Silas Hyman doesn’t recognise her. The pretty nurse has to point.

‘That’s Jennifer Covey, there,’ she says.

He no longer looks healthy or handsome, but pale as if he’s about to vomit, his forehead sweaty; stricken by what he sees.

I think I hear him whisper, ‘Oh God.’

He turns away and shakes his head at the nurse. He isn’t going closer.

Or is he pretending this is the first time he’s seen her since the fire? A brilliant performance so that nobody will suspect him of being the person who tampered with her oxygen tube?

Perhaps he feels watched.

Through the glass wall, you see him turning away. You hurry out after him. The ICU doors close behind him and you follow.

You catch up with him in the corridor, your anger skidding on the slippery linoleum and bouncing off the walls.

‘What the hell are you doing here?’

‘I saw Adam and his grandmother earlier and-’

‘Your wife said you were at a building site.’

For a moment he is speechless; caught out.

‘A load of crap, wasn’t it? Like your alibi. Lying bastard!’

Yelling now, sound tumbling through the open door of the relatives’ room where Adam is waiting for you.

He and my mother come out, but you don’t see them, rage-focused on Silas Hyman.

‘Who lied for you about my son?’

‘What do you mean?’

My mother tries to be appeasing. ‘Someone lied and said they saw Addie starting the fire,’ she tells him.

‘But that’s ridiculous,’ Mr Hyman says. ‘For goodness sake, of all people to accuse.’ He turns to Adam. ‘I know you wouldn’t do that, Sir Covey.’

He bends towards Adam, perhaps to stroke his hair or give him a hug.

‘Keep away from him!’ you roar, moving towards him, going to hit him.

And then Adam is standing between you and he’s pushing you away from Silas Hyman; protective of him; furious with you. All his strength in those small hands as he pushes you away.

I see the terrible hurt on your face.

It’s the first time you’ve seen Adam since the fire.

Silas turns and walks away.

Mum takes Adam’s hand in hers. ‘Come on, sweetheart, time to go home.’ She leads him away.

‘Go after him!’ I say to you. ‘You’ve got to tell him you know he didn’t start the fire.’

Silas Hyman said that straight away. ‘I know you wouldn’t do that, Sir Covey.’

But you turn away.

You think that he must know you think he’s innocent. I hope to God that he does.

You return to Jenny’s bedside. Sarah doesn’t know what has just happened in the corridor.

‘Can you stay here?’ you ask.

Something in your voice sounds a warning and she doesn’t automatically agree.

‘Why?’

‘Hyman told his wife he was on a building site,’ you say. ‘But all the time the bastard was right here, with Adam.’

‘Is Addie OK?’

‘Yeah.’

You hesitate a moment, but don’t confide in Sarah about Addie pushing you away.

‘I need to find out who Hyman got to lie about Adam,’ you say. ‘I need to do that for him.’

But what Addie needs from you is to be with him. For you to make a testudo for him. It makes me so sad you don’t know this.

‘Finding out who this witness is – and the arsonist – should be my job,’ Sarah says. ‘I’m a police officer; it’s what I do.’

‘I thought Baker had made you take compassionate leave?’

‘He has.’ She pauses a moment. ‘OK, we know there were only two members of staff, apart from Jenny, who weren’t at sports day – a reception teacher and a secretary. We need to speak to both of them, but especially the secretary because it’s her job to buzz people in and out of the school.’

‘I’ll go now,’ you say, standing up.

She puts a hand on your arm.

‘He’s my son.’

‘Exactly. And what if she recognises you? Do you think that’ll help if she is involved in this?’

You are silenced and frustrated by her logic.

‘The most useful thing for you to do is to stay here and guard Jenny,’ she continues, and I’m not sure if she really thinks Jen needs guarding with so many medical staff around, or if she sees you as a loose cannon and wants to tether you at Jenny’s bedside.

‘Here’s how it’s going to work,’ she says, using one of your expressions – or perhaps it was hers first, which you adopted as you grew up. ‘I will share everything with you, brief you, update you on everything.’

I don’t think you believe her. You’ve had years of her only giving you small pieces of information, no more than was allowed to the press, and only hints at the bigger and more dramatic picture. Such a rule-abiding police officer; such a frustrating older sister.

‘You think the arsonist is Silas Hyman, with an accomplice who lied about Adam, and we’ll come back to him, but we also have to look at the hate-mailer.’

She waits for you to argue. Like me, she heard your categorical denial of the hate-mailer being responsible to DI Baker and maybe, like me, guessed it was because if it was him you’d feel it was your fault.

But you don’t contradict her. For Addie’s sake you want the truth so will keep an open mind; your love for Adam so much fiercer than your terror of being to blame.

‘The hate-mailer has a track record for aggression in the form of malicious mail,’ Sarah goes on. ‘And a motive for arson, which was to hurt Jenny for some reason.’

And he attacked her with red paint, I silently add. Just a few weeks ago.

‘Because hate mail is a crime under the Malicious Communications Act,’ Sarah goes on, ‘it can be fully investigated by the police.’

‘They didn’t get far last time,’ you say.

‘DI Baker’s asked for a much wider investigation.’

‘You think he’ll still do that?’

‘My colleagues won’t give him a choice. They’ll want to do something to help our family, whether they believe Adam guilty or not. There’ll be a lot more welly in the investigation than last time: looking at CCTV footage; wider DNA testing. The works.’

‘And Hyman?’

‘With the arson investigation closed, there’s no reason for the police to investigate him further.’

‘But you will?’

She hesitates a moment.

‘Every interview I do now is illegal,’ she says. ‘So we have to weigh up very carefully what we want to achieve because I’ll be treading on thin ice and it will give way; it’s just a question of how much I can find out before it does.’

‘You’re saying you won’t talk to him?’

‘No. I’m saying I need to be well informed before I do. Before I talk to anyone – including Silas Hyman – I need