“What, kill a full-grown man? All it takes is stealth and the right weapons.”
“No,” said Benny. “It’s hard to believe that a little girl could kill
“Fair question, Ben, but let me ask you one in turn. If Charlie Pink-eye was in front of you, right now this minute, would you want to kill him?”
Benny nodded. “In a heartbeat.”
“You’re sure?”
“After what he did?”
“Even if we get Nix back unharmed?”
“No question about it, Tom.”
Tom studied him for a while before he said, “Couple things about that. I hear you when you say you’d kill Charlie, and for the most part I believe you, but there’s a little hesitation in your voice. If I’d have asked the same question last night, you’d have said yes without the slightest hesitation, because the hurt was immediate. It was right there in your face. But this is hours later. The blood cools, and the more distance you put between the heat of passion and any act of commission makes something like killing much harder to do. When people talk about killing in cold blood, they’re referring to something someone does even after they’ve calmed down and had time to think. If it takes us a month to find Charlie, you might not want him dead at all. You might want to see him put on trial, you might want to see the system work instead of getting blood on your own hands.”
“Okay, okay, I get the idea. You said there was a couple of things. What’s the other?”
“Why do
“Is that a real question?”
“Sure. I mean, he didn’t physically hurt you. He didn’t kill anyone in your family. He didn’t kill Nix, at least as far as we know… And I don’t think he has, even now.”
“He…,” Benny began, but faltered. “Because of Mr. Sacchetto and Nix’s mom. Because of what he might be doing to Nix. What kind of question is that?”
“So, you want to kill him for revenge?”
Benny didn’t answer. Apache blew loudly, scaring some robins from the grass.
“Will that bring Rob Sacchetto or Jessie Riley back from the dead? Will it fix Morgie’s head or guarantee that we’ll find Nix safe and unharmed?”
“No, but-”
“So, why do you want Charlie dead? What good will it do?”
“Why do
“We’re not discussing me,” said Tom. “We can, but we’re not right now.”
Benny said, “Charlie’s hurting people that I care about, and last night we agreed that Charlie’s going to come after us. To shut us up or whatever. He knows that we know, and he knows that we’re not going to let it go, even if the court clears him.”
“Right,” said Tom. “Charlie’s smart enough to have figured that out. So… you want to kill him to prevent him from killing you?”
“Us, not just me. But, yeah. That makes sense, man. Doesn’t it?”
“Sadly, yes, it does.”
“Why sadly?”
“Because it’s the way things still seem to be among us humans. Like Leroy Williams said, we never seem to learn.”
“What’s the alternative? Do nothing and let Charlie kill us?”
“No. I’m a pacifist by inclination, but I have my limits. And on top of that I’m not a martyr.”
“So, you intend to kill Charlie?”
Tom’s eyes were black ice. “Yes.”
“So why are you grilling me on this stuff, Tom?”
“Because the things that happened yesterday just kicked you into the same world as the Lost Girl. There’s some logic to it, even some justice in it, but the more you walk in that world, the more damage it’s going to do. And I don’t think there’s a way for us to turn back. Not anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
“The bodies that I found. The girl wasn’t just trying to kill a certain person or a certain type of person. She was trying to punish the image of that person that existed in her mind. Something had been done to her that was so bad, so tragic, that it changed her-maybe forever. Revenge isn’t really enough of a word to explain what she’s feeling and why she’s doing what she’s doing. It’s more like an infection of the spirit, and it distorts everything she sees and everything she does.”
“So,” Benny said, sorting through it, “she’s trying to kill the
Tom cut a sharp look at Benny.
“What?” asked Benny.
“That may have been the smartest thing you ever said, kiddo. It shows that you have insight. Yes, that’s exactly what Lilah is doing.”
“So… who’s the guy she’s trying to kill?”
“Maybe one of the bounty hunters killed Annie, or maybe she died in the Z-Games and Lilah’s fixated on the image of the man who put her into one of the pits. Finding that out is one of the reasons I want to find her.”
Benny digested this as they came out from under the shade of the trees into a gorgeous field in which wildflowers ran rampant and proclaimed their freedom in shouts of colors. The sky was a distant blue, and massive white clouds sailed across it. The image was so lovely that Benny’s mind saw but discounted the abandoned cars that were covered with weeds and probably filled with old bones.
“It’s hard to imagine that there is so much hurt and harm out here, isn’t it?” said Tom softly.
All Benny could do was nod. He took the Lost Girl card out of his pocket and stared at it. Such a beautiful, proud, tragic face. “Lilah,” he murmured, but the breeze through the tall grass answered him in Nix’s voice.
They reached the creek and turned north; riding in silence for several miles till Tom swung out of the saddle and squatted down by a rusted metal footbridge. Benny watched his brother’s face as he examined a series of overlapping footprints and turned his head to see which direction their prey went.
33
THEY CAME DOWN ANOTHER SLOPE AND THERE, NESTLED BETWEEN A LONG tumble of boulders left over from a glacier thousands of years ago, was a stream that glimmered like a blue ribbon through the forest. They dismounted and led the horses as they followed a crooked path that kept trees between them and whoever might be down there-bounty hunters or zoms. Chief clearly did not want to go that way and tugged on the reins; Apache looked equally nervous.
Tom picked up some loose bits of dirt and leaf debris and threw it into the air, watching where the wind took it. “Wind’s blowing toward us. If we stay on this side of the creek, we should be okay. But we’ll need to keep our voices low.”
The path along the creek had once been a scenic country road, and it was wide enough for them to walk side- by-side, leading the horses.
“Tom?”
“Yeah.”
“We’re going to find her, aren’t we?”
“Lilah? I-”
“No,” Benny said, “Nix. We’re going to find her, right?”
“We’re going to try.”
“That’s not good enough, man. We’ve
