She pushed her robe off her shoulders, indifferent as it slid down her arms and pooled on the oak floor. She stood before him in a shimmering, transparent nightgown.
“Last weekend you made me feel so special when you made love to me. I hoped it might be a new start for us,” she whispered, feeling fearful because he was so cold and determined to shut her out.
“Did you now? Well, there is no new start for us. There never was, so put your robe back on and get out.”
Even as his harsh tone ripped through her, she stepped farther into the room, shut his door and then locked it. She was shaking when she flipped off the light. “You’ll have to make me,” she said softly, refusing to lose her courage.
“Don’t think I won’t.” Slamming his glass down on the windowsill, he stormed across the room and seized her by the shoulders. “Listen to me-this ends now!”
She put her arms around his waist, lifted her eyes to his, then laid her head against his chest and clung.
He stiffened.
“Please! Don’t do this,” she begged, even though she felt desperate that he might push her away. “Last weekend…being with you…meant everything… Don’t let the press’s distortions destroy us.”
“Stop it,” he rasped even as he shuddered from her nearness.
Her breath caught. She could tell he wanted her every bit as much as she wanted him, but he was fighting his emotions. Maybe because he didn’t trust them, or her.
“I can’t. Not until you hear me out. When I saw you at Gram’s that first day, all those weeks ago, something started between us again. At least it did for me. Maybe it never died. I didn’t want to admit it. I had my career, and that was enough. Then you kissed me… And then we made love. Now none of what I had before you is ever going to be enough. I…want you so much. So very much. Even though I live a crazy life that leaves no time for relationships, I want you.”
“What about Hugh?”
“I told you-there’s nothing between Hugh and me now except for a little chemistry on the screen and whatever fantasy lingers in fans’ minds. We never really dated. I became involved with him after Edward, my boyfriend, walked out on me publicly. I knew the press would focus on Hugh instead of my failure with Edward because Hugh loves media attention and encourages it. It seemed less invasive because it was false. Now I see I shouldn’t have used him like that.”
“Those love scenes between you two were pretty hot. When I saw you on those satin sheets, looking up at him the same way you looked up at me, something snapped.”
His face was closed; his eyes had gone flat and dark. She could tell there was a lot he wasn’t telling her.
“I…I can’t even begin to imagine what you felt. I only know that if I saw you give another woman that special smile or look, I’d feel betrayed. Foolishly, I thought I’d be able to explain about the love scenes before you saw them…since Dangerous Man won’t come out for nearly eight months.” She paused. “I’m afraid I was thinking about you, when I was with Hugh in front of the camera.”
“I don’t much like hearing that.” His black eyes impaled her from beneath his dark brows.
“I know it was wrong, but I was turned off by Hugh and my selfish, seductive character. It was the only way I could get the work done… So, in a way, I did use you…use us… But it’s hard for an actress not to use parts of herself to make a role convincing. Our tools are our own emotions.”
“Does the acting ever stop?”
“Yes. Now. This is me, and I’m begging you to give me-to give us-another chance.”
Terrified, feeling naked to the soul after asking this of him, she inhaled a long breath and waited as he considered what she’d said.
“I don’t know,” he said finally, but the anger had gone out of his voice. “Since I was nineteen, when everything I read about us was distorted and used to hang me, I’ve worked hard to keep my private life private. There were, of course, always those reporters who wrote new stories about what I’d supposedly done to you, but mostly my life was a private affair.
“I’ve never dated a famous actress before. Frankly, I never wanted to. But here you are-a bomb that’s gone off in my life. If we date, your career, with all its fuss, is going to take some getting used to.”
“I know. I’m sorry about that.”
“I thought I had my life under control. It was simple. It was all about building and developing and making more money. Then I lost Uncle Zachery. And I saw your tear-streaked face and kissed you on Viola’s porch.”
“See-your work is not so different from my roller-coaster career. Until that kiss, I lived for interesting parts and good reviews and felt like death when some critic said I couldn’t act.”
“I don’t like feeling out of control-or in your control.”
“That’s understandable because I hurt you before,” she whispered.
“I don’t want this…you…us,” he growled. “You’re bad for me.”
“Not according to your PR guys,” she whispered with a smile.
Zach took a deep breath. For a moment, she was terrified that her little joke would backfire, that he was still going to send her away. She wouldn’t have blamed him.
But he smiled. “I should never have listened to them.”
“Were they really the only reason you called me?”
“Point taken. No… But I wish I could say they were. Then maybe I could resist you.”
“That’s not the wisest course,” she whispered.
Very slowly, his arms gentled upon her shoulders. Wrapping her closely against him, he drew her to his bed and pulled her down onto the mattress beside him. For a long time they just lay together in the darkness growing comfortable in each other’s presence.
His nearness calmed her and made her feel safe again.
Then he rolled on his side and began to stroke her lips, her ears, her neck-and lower.
“All night, at the ground-breaking, I was so miserable…because I knew you were going to send me away again.” Her words were muttered shatteringly against the base of his throat, her hands clinging to his shoulders.
His hand traced the length of her spine.
“I thought that this second chance was over before we’d even begun to understand what we feel,” she continued.
“I damn sure wanted it to be over. You’re like a dangerous drug, and I’m an addict.”
His hands were smoothing her tumbled hair out of her eyes. His lips kissed her brow lightly. Then he pulled her fully against him, so that she was pressed against his long, hard length. Again-he felt so right.
While he petted her hair, she poured out the details of her past week in a jumble-the male members of the crew jamming the set to ogle her, a dissatisfied Sam shouting commands, the alienation she’d felt every night in her lonely L.A. hotel room when she’d longed for him to call.
“I know people think I have a glamorous life, but sometimes it just feels lonely. One minute I’m onstage admired by thousands. Then I’m home alone-or vilified in the press.” She buried her lips against the warm hollow of his neck. “Edward couldn’t stand my crazy life, and I don’t think you will be able to stand it, either. I’m good at acting, at fantasy onstage. But so far, ever since we parted fifteen years ago, I’ve never been able to hold on to anything real.”
“Just promise me you won’t act when you’re with me,” he said roughly.
She nodded.
“I don’t want to look at your face and wonder if you’re using an emotion you felt for someone else to make something work for us.”
“I’d never do that.”
“Okay, then.” His mouth fastened on hers with a passion that soon spiraled out of control. He stripped her, stripped himself and flung their clothes on the floor. Then he mounted her, his knees wide. Straddling her thighs, he cupped her breasts.
She ran her hands down his lean torso. How she loved the way his body was hard and warm; how every part of him was gorgeous.
He breathed in rapid pants, and she was just as hot for him.
He kissed her with such desperate urgency she could only imagine he felt as she did. A foil wrapper rustled. Then, with his condom in place, he thrust inside her, each stroke deeper and harder than the last. She clung,
