soon.”
He looked down at her upraised face. “You mentioned that before.”
She nodded. “Switching over is necessary, but the baby has to be ready to make the change. If we begin too early, it will be a fight and we’re potentially setting up years of battling over food. If we start too late, he could be fussy about what kind of foods he enjoys.” She smiled. “Even if it goes well, I have to warn you that it’s a very messy proposition.”
We. She kept saying we, as if he had a part in all this. “I know I have to make some changes to include Colton in my life,” he said. “I’m not sure what they’re going to be.”
“You don’t have to decide today. He’s not going anywhere. Just don’t take too long.”
Forgiveness glowed in her eyes. Forgiveness and something he wanted to believe was desire.
“Don’t be so softhearted where I’m concerned,” he said gruffly. “You’re letting me off the hook too easily.”
“I can’t help what I feel,” she said.
He wanted to say the same thing, but couldn’t. This wasn’t right, he told himself, even as he wanted to find a way to make it, if not correct, then possible.
“I’m not worth it,” he said.
“You are to me.”
She stared up at him as if he had the power to light up the sky. Her words told him everything-that she was his for the taking. He knew he was the biggest bastard alive, but he wasn’t ready to cross that line yet. Not with someone so close to innocent.
He came to a stop in the center of the room, then cupped her face in his hands. “All I want to do is take you upstairs and make love with you,” he admitted. “You have to tell me no.”
“Why?”
The single word cut him down to his soul. He sucked in a breath. “Because you haven’t been with many men and I’m more than capable of seducing you.”
She smiled. A sweet, feminine smile that spoke of the power of surrender. “Who says you’d have to try?”
He told himself to fight her acquiescence. He told himself to be a better man than he wanted and walk away. He told himself he wouldn’t be able to face himself in the mirror if he did this. Then he realized he didn’t care about any of that. He wanted her more than he’d ever wanted anyone before.
He swore under his breath and swung her up in his arms. She gave a soft cry of surprise, then snuggled against him. As he carried her out of the room, she reached out and snagged the baby monitor resting on a table, then wrapped her arms around him.
“Don’t worry,” she whispered in his ear. “I trust you.”
“That,” he told her, “is the problem.”
Chapter 10
This was the perfect conclusion to the fairy tale that had started in her rented Cinderella gown, Cynthia thought dreamily as Jonathan carried her upstairs. The handsome prince had, if not fallen in love with her, certainly begun to care. Now, overwhelmed by passion, he wanted to make love with her.
Thousands of thoughts floated through her brain, but she couldn’t catch on to any one of them. Which was fine. She just wanted to close her eyes and get lost in the wonder of being held in Jonathan’s strong arms. He was everything she’d ever wanted in a man. Not only was he intelligent and capable, but he didn’t always insist on being right. After she’d explained the problem with Colton and how he had to start to bond with the boy, Jonathan had actually listened. While it would be difficult for him, he was going to let go of the past enough to let his nephew into his life.
“What are you thinking?” Jonathan asked as he stopped and let her slide to her feet.
She opened her eyes and looked around. They were in his bedroom. At least she assumed it was his-she’d never actually been inside this room before. But if the huge four-poster bed and slightly masculine furnishings were anything to go by, this was where Jonathan slept.
Her gaze wandered around the room, then returned to the bed. As she took in the dimensions of the mattress, a few drops of reality trickled down her spine. Bed…mattress…as in sex? She swallowed.
“Cynthia?”
“What? Oh, you wanted to know what I was thinking. Right.” Except she couldn’t remember. She took a step back and clutched the baby monitor to her chest. “Colton was up all morning with the doctor’s visit. He seemed to really enjoy himself there. All the activity, I guess. Anyway, he’ll probably sleep a little longer than usual this afternoon. Maybe for another hour or so.”
She blinked several times as she stared at Jonathan and hoped she didn’t look as stupid as she felt. Were they going to do it? Not that she didn’t want to. While they’d been dancing together she’d felt all warm and melty inside. But dancing was very different from “the act.”
“You’re scared,” he said flatly.
“Scared is a little too strong. I’m nervous.” More nervous than she was willing to let on. Jonathan had hinted that he knew she was inexperienced, which was true, but she doubted he had a clue about
He smiled. “Do you remember me telling you that I was as dangerous as a wolf and that I could hurt you? You stood up to me, saying that would never happen. Have you changed your mind?”
She swallowed again. “Not exactly. It’s just this is, well, different.”
“Do you want to leave? I won’t pressure you to stay. It’s your decision.”
She hated that. Couldn’t he just seduce her? Except Jonathan was too good a man for that. He wouldn’t kiss her and touch her, making her so weak and aroused that she no longer had possession of her senses. Instead he forced her to act like an adult and accept the consequences of her actions.
Resolutely she walked over to the nightstand and put down the baby monitor. She adjusted the volume button, then turned to face him. “I want this,” she said, her voice shaking only a little.
He smiled and crossed the floor to stand in front of her. “I’m guessing you haven’t been with a man like me before,” he said. “By that I mean someone older and a lot more experienced.”
“Right on the first try.” She was trying for sophisticated but had the bad feeling that she sounded breathy and nervous instead.
“I promise to go slowly. If you don’t like something I’m doing or if you want me to do it differently, just tell me. I want this to be good for you.”
“Okay.”
What she wanted was for it to be over, she thought, but doubted he would want to hear that. Jonathan reached for her. There was a split second of hesitation on his part, as if he was giving her one last chance to change her mind. Cynthia quickly searched her heart and mind. Was this what she wanted? She’d waited twenty-six years before making love with a man. Was this the right time for her?
Then his arms were around her and he was drawing her close to him. As she moved into his embrace and the now familiar warmth of his body surrounded her, she had the sensation of coming home. As if being with this man was her one best and true destiny. She didn’t want anyone else to touch her or kiss her. Only Jonathan. Not just because he was so handsome, but because he was so good on the inside. Because all her life she’d been waiting for someone to feel as right to her as Frank had felt to her mother. And Jonathan was