had happened so quickly, he thought. So much had changed. After the divorce he’d assumed she was out of his life forever. He’d resisted taking the job at The Waterfront because he didn’t want to deal with Gloria. But she’d guilted him into it and because of that, he and Penny were…
Were what? Back together? He wouldn’t go that far, but they mattered to each other. Once again he’d fallen for her smile, her brain, her talent. She was funny and beautiful and fearless.
She was strong. Having a baby on her own. He never would have guessed that one, even knowing how much she wanted children. She would be a great mom.
He stood and walked to the window. His side of the building looked toward Lake Union. As he stared out on the cloudy sky, he thought about her growing bigger with her baby. About her giving birth…by herself.
No, not by herself. Naomi would be there. And Dani. Reid. Would he? Would he want to be in the room with her, holding her hand, telling her to breathe?
The question immobilized him. What did he want with Penny?
Instantly Lindsey came to mind, but for once he didn’t think about all he’d lost by giving her up. Instead he thought about her life. How much her parents loved her. How much she was their world. They didn’t care that they hadn’t created her themselves.
It could be like that, he thought. For him and Penny’s baby. Loving a child wasn’t about biology. It was about the heart.
Seventeen years ago, he’d made the only choice that made sense. Now, with hindsight, he knew it was the right choice. He’d allowed guilt and anger to blind him to that. He’d punished himself by refusing to be happy.
He swore under his breath. That blindness had cost him his marriage, he realized.
How long had he been holding his heart in check so he didn’t get hurt? All his life? Maybe since his parents had died. Maybe since Gloria had started running his world with her twisted rules and cruel threats.
“Damn,” he muttered. “Get some therapy and move on, guy.”
He would move on, but not by himself. He loved Penny and he’d learned enough to make things work with her, if she would give him a chance.
Talk about an uphill battle, he thought grimly. If she knew he hadn’t wanted children before, children who were his, why would she believe he was willing to accept someone else’s baby?
He would convince her, he told himself. He would make her understand what was in his heart. He would tell her he’d finally learned what it meant to love someone. To love her.
He walked back to his desk and started to shut down his computer. Before it had finished, his assistant buzzed him.
“Yes,” he said.
“There’s someone to see you. Penny Jackson.”
Penny? “Send her in.”
He’d hoped to have a little time to figure out what he was going to say, but maybe it would be better to simply tell her now. The sooner he started convincing her, the sooner they could begin their life together.
The door opened. He stepped toward her, then stopped when he saw the fury in her eyes.
“You snake,” she said, her voice low and angry. “You lying, scummy, slithery snake. I consider myself a reasonable person. I’m willing to overlook a lot. I give second chances, but you are disgusting.”
He crossed to her and reached for her shoulders. She quickly stepped back.
“Don’t you dare touch me. Don’t ever touch me again.”
Cold panic slipped through him. “What the hell happened?”
She glared at him. “I defended you. I can’t believe it, but I did. Gloria came by for one of her emotional hit- and-runs. I defended you and all the time it was true.”
He opened his mouth to ask what she was talking about when he suddenly knew. He groaned.
“You’re leaving,” she said. “In less than a month you’re packing it all up and leaving Seattle. I understand everyone is very excited about The Daily Grind expanding back east. Too bad I don’t have stock in the damn company.”
“Penny, no.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Don’t try to tell me it’s not true, Cal. I’ve already spoken to someone at your company. He was very friendly and explained the whole damn plan.”
Tears filled her eyes. She brushed them away with her hand. “I believed you,” she said. “I trusted you.”
“I’m sorry,” he said as sincerely as he knew how. “I should have told you.”
“Oh, right, but it just slipped your mind.”
“Yes,” he yelled. “I forgot! With all the crap going on lately, is that so much of a surprise? When I first hired you I told you I was the GM for four months. I didn’t think you cared what I did after that. Later, when we got involved, I planned to tell you but it wasn’t foremost on my mind. I didn’t keep this from you deliberately. It just happened. Besides, I’ve been talking to my partners. I’ve been rethinking my plans. It might be better if I stayed here.”
“Might be better?” she screamed. “That’s the best you can do? But it might not? Tell me, when do you plan to make up your mind?” She raised her hand. “On second thought, forget it. I don’t care anymore.”
She closed her eyes, then opened them. “I am such a fool,” she said, her voice back to normal, but so thick with sadness that he ached to hear her.
“You’re not,” he told her.
“A lot you know. You’re the reason. You’d think I’d learn. What’s that old saying? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Well, shame on me.”
What did that mean? He knew he was in deep shit with Penny, but he couldn’t help a flicker of hope deep inside.
“Penny?”
“Don’t even go there,” she told him. “Not anymore. I loved you, Cal. Maybe for the second time, maybe I never stopped. I don’t know and now I don’t care. Because the truth is, you’re no different than you ever were. You still keep secrets. You’re still holding back, playing it safe, making sure you don’t get hurt. You’re still not willing to put your heart on the line. I’m not interested in a man like that. I’m not interested in someone I can’t trust.”
“But you love me.”
She grimaced. “I’ll get over it. And you.”
“But I love you, too.”
She stared at him for a long time, then turned toward the door. “I’ve heard that before and I know how little those words are worth.”
“IF THIS IS GOING TO become a regular occurrence,” Naomi said from her place next to Penny on the sofa, “then we’re going to need to establish some ground rules.”
Penny used the tissue to wipe her face, although she wasn’t sure why she bothered. No mattered how quickly she mopped up her tears, there were plenty of new ones to take their place.
“A code so we can call each other on the phone,” Naomi said as she continued to rub Penny’s back.
“A schedule so we don’t all break down at the same time,” Dani said from Penny’s other side.
“T-that would be good,” Penny said as she tried to fight the sobs building up inside of her.
She’d been hurt before-mostly by Cal-but somehow this felt worse. Maybe because she’d thought she’d figured everything out. She thought she’d found the solution, only to realize she’d been wrong about everything.
Despite the ache around her heart and the sense that she would never again draw breath without wanting to scream, she knew she had to do her best to get past what had happened. At least the physical part. Her trembling, sobbing, angry state couldn’t be good for the baby.
“You guys are great,” she said, trying to focus on them instead of herself. “For being here with me.”
“Hey, I don’t have a job,” Dani said with a sigh. “Where else would I be?”
Penny did her best to smile. “Good point.”
“I work for you,” Naomi said. “You’re the boss. You say jump, I say how high.”
“Also good.”
“So we’re not here because we care,” Dani said.
Penny sniffed. “That’ll put me in my place.”
The two women leaned in and hugged her.
“I’m sorry,” Dani whispered in her ear. “I never knew my brother was such a big butthead.”
“Yeah,” Naomi said. “I’d nearly forgiven him for being a bastard the last time. I’ll never forgive him for
