'Okay.'
He leaned back in his chair. 'This was tough on Kyle. He really cares about your kids.' And you.
He didn't say the last part, but she heard it. 'I don't want to talk about him right now.'
'All right. Let's talk about your daughter.'
Sandy started to stand up. Travis grabbed her hand and pulled her back into the chair. 'Hear me out,' he said. 'I've met a lot of kids. After a while, you start to get a feel for them. Lindsay's one of the good ones. She got a big scare today. It's going to stay with her a long time.'
'What are you saying?'
'That it's probably not going to be a problem again. I don't usually tell parents not to punish their kids, but I'm going to make an exception. She's a frightened little girl, and you might want to consider just listening instead of acting.'
Sandy shook her head. What was it with these men? Why were they always telling other people how to raise their kids? It seemed to her that their family wasn't anything to brag about. 'I'll give it some thought,' she said, standing. 'Is she free to go?'
'Sure.' He rose and walked to the door. 'It's none of my business, but Kyle's hurting pretty bad. Maybe you could talk to him before you leave.'
'You're right. It's none of your business.' She started to walk past him into the hallway, then paused. 'You can give him a message for me, though. Tell him I want him to stay away from me and away from my kids. And this time, I mean it.'
'None of this is his fault,' Travis told her.
'Then whose fault is it?'
'Why does it have to be anyone's? Sometimes these things just happen.'
'Maybe,' she said, knowing he was talking about the shoplifting and she was talking about a relationship that would never work. 'But it's not going to happen again.'
Chapter 15
Despite the late hour, the lights were on in Sandy's house. Kyle paused at the edge of the porch and thought about waiting until morning to tell her what had happened. He was tired and defeated, and he didn't want to face her now. But he knew she would rest easier knowing what he had to say.
If only she would understand. If only she could see how damn hard it had been for him to take Lindsay into custody. He hadn't wanted to, but it had been the right thing to do.
He walked to the door and raised his hand to knock, then lowered it back to his side. What was the point of being right if it cost him Sandy?
Before he could change his mind, he rapped on the door once, and waited. He heard footsteps, then her voice quietly called, 'Who is it?'
'Kyle.'
She hesitated. At first, he thought she might not even let him in. He was right. She opened the door a crack and stared at him, but made no move to allow him into her home. 'What do you want?' she asked.
Her face was pale and drawn, as if the trauma of the day had stolen away all her vitality. Her mouth trembled slightly and there were shadows under her green eyes. One strand of hair drifted across her cheek. She brushed it back impatiently in a familiar gesture that made his heart ache.
'That's it?' he asked. 'After all that's happened between us, now I'm supposed to stand out here like I'm selling door-to-door and you're not even going to bother inviting me in?'
She ducked her head a bit and sighed. 'It's late, Kyle. What do you want?'
'To talk to you. To make you understand. I think you owe me that, at least.'
'I don't owe you anything.'
He managed to stay upright and keep his features impassive, but it was as if she'd stabbed him in the gut. He could feel his life's blood oozing away. He thought about begging, but to what end? She didn't really want him, she never had. She was only interested in the fantasy. Reality had intruded on Sandy Walker's neat view of life in the form of their messy, imperfect relationship. She couldn't have that.
'Have it your way,' he said. 'I'm outta here. I just thought you'd want to know that Wilson Porter dropped all charges.' He turned on his heel and started to leave. Behind him, the door creaked as Sandy opened it wide.
'What did you say?' she asked.
'You heard me.' He kept on walking.
'Wait, Kyle. Maybe you'd better come inside.'
He paused at the top of the stairs. It would be so easy to keep on going. Leaving was what he did best. He knew all the things to say, how to make it easier for everyone. He was good at saying goodbye. What he wasn't good at was staying or giving his heart. He wasn't good at taking emotional risks. So far, the one time he'd really tried, he'd managed to screw everything up. He hurt so bad, it was hard to breathe. He'd had to arrest Lindsay, and Sandy didn't want to see him. The pain of staying sure made leaving look good.
But he loved her. He hadn't wanted to, he'd thought he could avoid those feelings forever. But they'd crept up on him when his back was turned. Somehow, the adolescent crush had matured into something lasting. Something he would never get over. Walking away guaranteed it wouldn't work out. At least by staying, he was giving them both a chance. Didn't they deserve that?
He turned and crossed the porch in three long strides. Without looking at her, he entered the house and continued into the living room. Once there, he didn't know if he should sit down or not, so he walked to the open window and stared out at the darkness.
He heard her footsteps on the hardwood floor as she came in after him. 'What happened?' she asked.
'You tell me,' he said, still staring out the window. The nighttime beyond made the glass more like a mirror. He could see the reflection of the sofa against the wall, and the pictures above it. Sandy stood just inside the door. She'd folded her arms in front of her waist and was looking at him in confusion.
'When did it go bad?' he asked. 'Was it wrong to want you to send the children to camp? Is that what you're punishing me for?' He shrugged, not waiting for an answer. 'Maybe. I'll admit my feelings were selfish. I knew they would enjoy themselves, but my primary concern was being alone with you. I thought that's what we both wanted.'
He waited for a moment, but she didn't say anything. He continued. 'You told me a while ago that I didn't take responsibility for my actions. That I was used to skating through life on my looks and charm. I thought about it and decided you might have a point. Not in terms of my career. I'm good at what I do there, but in my personal life.' He drew in a breath. 'I've always been afraid to commit. So rather than risk being left, I would leave first.'
'Kyle, this doesn't have anything to do with what happened today.'
'No?' He looked at her reflection in the window. She wasn't watching him anymore. She was staring at the ground. Was it because she didn't want to listen to what he had to say or was it because she feared the truth? 'You wanted me, too, Sandy, and don't say you didn't. You were just as eager to become lovers as I was.'
'I know,' she said miserably. 'Now I'm paying the price for that. I was so caught up in myself, I didn't think about my children.'
'That's a crock and you know it.'
Her head snapped up. 'You're not a parent. How would you know-'
'Having a child of your own doesn't give you instant access to magical skills, so quit acting like it does,' he interrupted. 'I might not have raised kids, but I've been around them my whole life. I see messed-up ones on the job just about every day. You make it sound like you were out with me while the house burned down. Chances are, even if we'd never met, you still would have sent the kids to camp. They wanted to go.'
'Lindsay didn't.'
'Lindsay's practically a teenager. She doesn't want to do anything.'
'That's beside the point. I sent her and look what happened. She met those two girls and she got involved in shoplifting. If I hadn't sent her-'
'She might have met them here. At the mall or the park. You can't protect her from everything. At some point,
