Erin wanted to ask for details. What
“I feel guilty, too,” she said.
Parker glanced at her. “You? What do you have to feel guilty about?”
“Not knowing. We were twins. We were supposed to have a connection that went beyond words. I knew something had happened while she was here, but when she didn’t want to talk about it, I didn’t press her. I never knew she was pregnant. How could my twin sister have hidden that from me? Why didn’t I sense what was wrong?” She folded her arms over her chest and sighed. “I have always felt badly that Stacey went through it alone.”
“That’s not your fault, it’s mine.”
“So we’re going to argue over blame?”
“This conversation is too quiet to be an argument.”
She smiled slightly at his words. “I’m not the screaming type.”
“Me, either.” Some of the sadness faded from his gaze. “But I’d still change the past if I could.”
“What would you do differently?”
“I wouldn’t sleep with Stacey.”
“Oh, don’t say that,” she told him. “Please, don’t even wish that.”
“Why?”
“Because then Christie would never have been born.”
“You’re right. She’s a great kid.”
Erin scooted a little closer to him, then reached out to touch him. At the last minute, she pulled her hand away and rested it on her lap. He stared at the ground. She could see the muscles in his back and feel the heat of him.
“When we were growing up, Stacey was always the wild one,” she said. “She jumped into whatever we were doing. She wanted to experience everything and she didn’t worry about the consequences.”
“You’re more cautious,” he said.
“A little. I like to test the water first, figure out what I want. Wait for my turn.”
“What if you don’t get your turn?” he asked.
“I don’t know.”
The restlessness that had plagued her earlier returned. When was it going to be her time? When did she get to follow her dreams? She only had questions, not answers.
She grabbed her glass of brandy and finished it in a single swallow. The warmth flowed through her stomach and up her chest. The edges of her mind blurred a little and she knew the alcohol was starting to take effect. She’d never been much of a drinker.
“Another one?” he asked.
“No, thanks,” she said. “I’m fine.”
But she wasn’t fine. She wasn’t a lot of things, including Stacey.
She stood up suddenly and left the room. The storm still raged over the sea. The lightning had returned, plunging across the sky, leaving an earthshaking roar in its wake.
The night and the liquor worked together to leave her feeling confused. Longing filled her. Longing for what she’d given up and for what she’d never had. Forgotten needs swirled through her, stirring to life, reminding her that she was a woman, with a woman’s desires.
She closed her eyes, trying to force the images away, but they only intensified. She could see Parker as clearly as if he were standing in front of her. She could feel his dark gaze and the touch of his hands on her body. She ached for him.
It wasn’t real, she told herself. It was about the diary, or the night or something else. This couldn’t be happening. Nothing made sense.
“Erin, are you all right?” Parker asked as he came up behind her.
“I’m fine.” Her voice didn’t sound fine. In fact, it was shaking. Her whole body trembled.
“I didn’t mean to upset you earlier.”
She continued to stare out the window. She refused to turn and look at him. Lord knew what he would see on her face. If he knew how much she wanted him-The mortification would be more than she could stand.
Think logically, she told herself. If she hadn’t read the diary and known about Stacey’s unrequited crush would she be so concerned about her own attraction to Parker?
No.
Erin touched the cool glass in front of her. The trembling lessened and she was able to draw in a deep breath.
“You didn’t upset me,” she said quietly, her voice stronger.
“I did. I shouldn’t have said those things about your sister.”
Now that she had herself under control, she felt safer turning around to look at him. She pressed her back against the door so the chill would chase the heat from her body. They were both in shadows and she couldn’t make out his individual features. He was less than a foot in front of her.
“I know the truth about Stacey better than anyone,” she said. “The whole situation is a little confusing for both of us, so there are bound to be awkward moments. We’re going to have to learn to muddle through.”
“That’s my fault, too,” he said, then shoved his hands into his jeans pockets. “Damn.”
“What?” His fault? She was the one with the psychotic hormones.
“I’ve made you uncomfortable.”
“What?”
“I have no excuse except that I like you. And it’s not about Stacey,” he added hastily. “She and I never talked the way you and I do. I didn’t know her, despite what happened. This is different. I’d tell you it’s because I haven’t seen an attractive woman in a while, but that’s not true. Kiki’s been parading them in front of me for years.”
“What?”
His dark gaze bore into hers. “So it must just be you. The problem is, I don’t know why. Worse, now it’s upsetting you.”
“What?” She was beginning to sound like a parrot, repeating the same word over and over.
“My attraction to you,” he said. “You sense it and it makes you uncomfortable.”
“Your what?” At least she was leaning against the glass doors. As her knees gave out, she had a way to support herself so she didn’t go sliding into a heap on the floor.
“Dammit, Erin, don’t you feel it, too?” he asked, then jerked his hands out of his pockets and grabbed her upper arms. His grip was firm but not punishing.
Her head spun as she tried to make sense of what he was saying. He was attracted to her? To her?
“Parker, I-”
She never got a chance to say what she was thinking. Not that it mattered. The moment his mouth touched hers, all rational thoughts fled her brain, leaving a void that filled with sensation.
This was not like that brief kiss before. The one that had left her breathless. Although this time she still couldn’t breathe, this was anything but brief.
His lips pressed against hers in an act of possession. Desire consumed her and she felt his flames, as well. The point of contact was combustion and the resulting explosion would blow them both away.
She didn’t remember reaching for him, but suddenly her hands were on his back and she could touch the muscles she’d admired. His lean strength rippled under her questing fingers. His shirt was smooth, his skin hot, his body pressed against hers from shoulder to knees.
His hands still held on to her arms, but instead of pushing her away, he drew her closer. Her breasts flattened against his chest. His mouth explored hers, learning the curve of her lips, tasting her, caressing her into mindlessness. His tongue probed gently. She parted for him, angling her head to admit him fully.
He was hot and sweet as he swept the delicate skin of her lower lip. When his tongue brushed hers, she felt the jolt ripple through her to the heat flaring between her thighs.
A painful ache began there and in her breasts. She tried to remember the last time she’d kissed, really kissed, a
