Betina didn’t look the least bit thrilled. Her friend walked over to the kitchen table and sat down. “I’m not sure I want things to change.”
Meri sank down across from her. “What? Are you crazy? We’re talking about Colin.”
“Exactly. He’s really special. Right now he’s my friend and I can depend on him to always be my friend. If I change that relationship, there’s no going back.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“I don’t know and neither do you. Meri, there are consequences for everything we do. What if Colin and I don’t hit it off? What if he’s not who I think he is? Then I’ll lose the friendship and have nothing.”
Meri didn’t understand. “I thought you were in love with him.”
“I am. That’s what makes this so hard. I’d rather just be his friend than not have him in my life at all.”
“But you could be more. You could have it all. I don’t understand. You’ve always been a risk taker.”
“Not when something important is on the line. There I’m nothing but a coward.”
This was news, Meri thought, confused by her friend. “I don’t get it. You’re in love with him. There’s a very good chance that he’s in love with you. And yet you’re not going to do anything about it? You’d rather have a skinny piece of pie than the whole thing?”
“It’s better than no pie.”
“But if you don’t try, you’ll always wonder. You’ll have regrets-and, believe me-those are the worst.”
“How would you know?”
Meri smiled sadly. “I grew up the queen of regrets. There were so many things I wanted to do when I was growing up. But I was always afraid. I didn’t fit in and I wasn’t willing to risk being rejected. So I never tried. I was miserable in college, so sure no one would ever want to be my friend. Looking back, I can see a few times when people approached me. But I blew them off. It was easier to be right than to risk. But it was a high price. Like you said, there are always consequences.”
“What are the consequences of sleeping with Jack?” Betina asked.
“So now we’re talking about me?”
“I have more confidence in the subject.”
Meri considered the question. “I finally get to move on with my life. He was my first crush and then he hurt me. I’ve grown up and matured, but I’ve never been able to let him totally go. He’s always lurking in the back of my mind. If I can get over him, I can move on. He’s the reason I’ve never been able to fall in love.”
“I thought you were in love with Andrew.”
Was she? Meri didn’t know what real, adult love felt like. She enjoyed Andrew’s company. She liked being with him. Six months ago she would have said yes, she was pretty sure she was almost in love with him. Today she was less sure.
“I haven’t missed him enough,” she said softly. “I’ve seen him only a couple of times in the past six months. Shouldn’t I be destroyed without him?”
“Nothing about you is normal. Andrew seems like a good guy. You’ll hook up again when you go back to D.C. You can figure out your feelings then. Assuming you’re not in love with Jack.”
What? “No way. I don’t love him. I want to hurt him. I want to make him crawl and beg and then I want to walk away.”
“That’s sure the story,” Betina said calmly. “The one you’ve been telling yourself for years. But is it the truth?” She shrugged. “I have my doubts. I think you’ve never gotten over Jack. I don’t think any of this is about revenge. You can’t accept you still love him so this is the story you tell yourself. But be careful. You’re not into casual relationships. What happens if you sleep with him and then can’t walk away? You want him to break your heart twice?”
In love with Jack? “Never. He can’t hurt me. I won’t let him. He’s little more than a symbol of the issues in my childhood. Once I prove I’ve outgrown him, I can let my past go.”
“An excellent theory. You’ll have to tell me how that works out for you.”
Meri hated her friend’s doubts. Betina was her oracle, the keeper of social and romantic knowledge. They’d never disagreed on anything significant before.
“I have to do this,” Meri said. “I’ve waited too long to walk away now. I have to go for it. You should, too. Tonight.”
Betina laughed. “You’re a brave woman. Braver than me.”
“That’s not true.”
“It is when it comes to matters of the heart. You’re willing to risk it all to get what you want, and I’m not.”
Jack walked into his room that night weary from too many hours at the computer. He pulled the hem of his shirt out of his jeans and started unbuttoning it, only to stop when he heard something in the bathroom.
He turned and saw the door was closed but light shone from underneath. What the hell?
But as quickly as the question formed, it was answered. There was only one person who would be hanging out in his bathroom. Meri.
He hesitated as he tried to figure out the best way to handle the situation. With his luck, she was probably naked. Maybe in the tub. Waiting for him. She’d been doing her best to seduce him, and he hated to admit that she’d done a damn fine job. He was primed and ready. It wouldn’t take much to push him over the edge.
The question was, did he want to fall?
He owed Hunter his loyalty. He’d given his word and he hadn’t done much of a job of seeing it through. All his friend had asked was for him to protect his sister. Instead Jack had cut and run. Sure, he’d kept tabs on Meri from a distance, but that was taking the easy way out.
Which meant now was the time to make good on his promise. He would walk into the bathroom, tell Meredith to get the hell out of there, explain nothing was ever going to happen between them and grit his teeth for the rest of the time he was stuck up here in the lodge.
A least it was a plan.
He sucked in a breath and walked into the bathroom.
It was as he’d expected. Candles glowing, rose petals scattered, the fire flickering and a very naked Meri in the tub.
She’d piled her hair on top of her head, exposing the sexy line of her neck. Bubbles in the bath floated across the water, giving him a quick view of her nakedness before moving to cover the scene. Her perfect breasts floated, a siren’s lure calling to him.
He was hard in a heartbeat. Hard and ready to take her every way he knew how.
It wasn’t her pale skin or the music playing in the background that got to him. It wasn’t the way she’d set the scene or the fact that he knew she wasn’t just willing, she was determined. He could have resisted all of that, even her slightly pouting lips.
What he couldn’t resist was the book she was reading. She’d set out to seduce him and had gotten so caught up in a textbook on nuclear fission that she hadn’t even heard him walk into the bathroom. That was the very heart of Meri. A walking, breathing genius brain trapped in the body of a centerfold. Who else could possibly appreciate the magic that was her?
Meri sighed as she turned the page. Why did Jerry have to go out of his way to make a perfectly mesmerizing topic boring? She’d been a little nervous when he’d asked her to read his latest textbook, and now that she was into it, she realized she’d been wary for a reason. Nuclear fission was one of the great discoveries of the twentieth century. Shouldn’t that be celebrated? Shouldn’t it at least be interesting? But noooo. Jerry wrote down to his audience and had taken what was-
The book was ripped from her hands. Meri blinked in surprise to find Jack standing beside the tub. Tub? She was in a tub? When had that happened?
She blinked again and her memory returned. Right. She’d planned on seducing him tonight. She glanced around and saw the candles and rose petals. At least she’d done a nice job.
“Hi,” she said as she smiled up at Jack. “Surprise.”
“You sure are that.”
She braced herself for him to yell at her or stalk off or explain for the four hundredth time why this was never going to work. She didn’t expect him to pull her to her feet, drag her out of the bath and haul her against him.
She was stunned. In a good way. She liked how he stared into her eyes as if she were prime rib and he were a
