“Okay, then.' Nash took a step back. Sometimes women completely confused him.
Rebecca excused herself. As she walked away, Stephanie joined Nash. She glanced at her watch.
“Would you mind if we collected the boys and left? It's a school night and they're already wired enough from school getting out in a couple of days. If I have any prayer of a decent bedtime for them, I need to get moving now.'
“Sure. Want me to help?'
“Please. Why don't you look for the twins? They'll be together and more cooperative. I'll pull the car up front and get Brett.' They said goodbye to the Haynes family, then walked into the main restaurant. The video-game room was by the door. Nash spotted Jason and Adam on a bench by the wall. Adam stood as he approached, but Jason only blinked sleepily.
“Time to head home,' Nash said.
“I'm ready,' Adam said.
Jason rose, then held out his arms. 'I'm tired.' Nash stared at him. A small child holding up his arms was a pretty universal symbol. Even living a child-free existence, Nash got it right away. Jason wanted to be carried.
Nash hesitated. It wasn't because he thought Jason would be too heavy or that Stephanie would mind. Instead he paused because something inside of him warned him that this was potentially problematic. He didn't do relationships-not with women, not with friends, not with kids. Relationships required a level of letting go he didn't permit himself. Control was all that stood between him and chaos.
Jason's implied trust made him uneasy. He'd only known the kids a couple of days. So why was Jason so comfortable around Nash?
“He wants to be carried,' Adam said, as if he thought Nash didn't get it.
“I know.' There didn't seem to be a graceful way out of the situation and Nash didn't want to make a scene over nothing. So he bent forward and pulled the boy up toward his chest. Jason instantly closed his arms around Nash's neck and rested his head on his shoulder. His small legs wrapped around Nash's waist.
Nash put one arm around the boy to hold him in place, then motioned for Adam to lead the way. Instead the eight-year-old tucked his fingers into Nash's free hand and leaned close.
“Is Mommy bringing the car around?' he asked sleepily.
“Yes. Come on.' He led the way to the front of the restaurant, then out into the night. Brett was already waiting on the sidewalk. He took one look at the three of them, then turned away. But not before Nash saw the hostility flare in his eyes.
The brief glimpse of the twelve-year-old's raw hurt and anger stirred something familiar in Nash.
Stephanie drove up and broke his concentration. Then he got caught up in settling the twins. As he was about to climb into the passenger seat, Kevin stepped out of the restaurant.
“What did you think?' his brother asked.
Nash looked back at the pizza place. 'Good people.'
“I agree.' Kevin grinned and slapped him on the back. 'See you soon.' He ducked his head into the minivan. 'Nice to meet you, Stephanie. If this guy gives you any trouble, you let me know.' She smiled. 'So far he's been terrific, but if that changes, I'll call.'
“You do that. Night.' Kevin stepped back into the restaurant. Stephanie watched him go.
“You have a great family,' she said. 'You're lucky.' Nash had never thought of himself that way, but in this case, maybe she was right.
Stephanie sucked in a breath and did her best to hold on to her temper. 'Brett, it's late, it's a school night and you're behaving like a brat. If you're try- ing to convince me that you're not mature enough to handle evenings out on a weeknight, you're doing a great job.' Her oldest flopped back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Since arriving back from their dinner out with Nash and his family, Brett had been sullen, uncommunicative and mouthy. She couldn't figure out what the problem was. Sure he was inching closer to being a teenager, but hormones couldn't kick in over the course of a couple of hours, could they? She sank onto the bed and put her hand on his stomach. 'I know you had a good time. I saw you laughing.'
“It was okay.'
“Just okay? I thought you were having more fun than that.' He shrugged.
She began to rub his stomach, something she'd done when he was little and not feeling well. 'I'm not leaving until you tell me what has your panties in a bunch. I'm just going to sit right here. After a while, I might start singing.' He continued to stare at the ceiling, but she saw his mouth twitch. All the boys thought she had a horrible voice and begged her not to sing. Plus, he would really hate the panty remark. She wondered which one would get to him first.
“I don't wear panties.'
“I do the laundry. I already know that.' She leaned over him. 'How about I just stare at you?'
She made her eyes as wide as possible and forced herself not to blink. Brett pressed his lips together, but it was too late. First he smiled, then he grinned, then he giggled and turned away.
“Stop staring at me!' She relaxed her face and sat back. 'I will if you'll talk.' He turned on his side so he was facing her, but instead of looking at her face, he studied the blanket. 'Do you still love Dad?' She was unprepared for the question. Brett didn't want to have this talk very often, but whenever he did, she felt uncomfortable. She always went for the easy answer, rather than the truth, because that's what Brett wanted to hear. Because she wanted her son to remember his father as a good person and his parents as happy together.
“Of course I still love him,' she said gently. 'Why do you ask?' He shrugged.
“Is this about Nash? Are you worried that something's going on between us?' Another shrug.
“He's being nice,' she said. 'I like him, but that doesn't mean anything. He's on vacation. When his vacation is over, he's going back to Chicago.' Where the handsome widower probably had dozens of elegant, sophisticated women vying for his attention. Where he wouldn't even remember a single mom with three kids who had an embarrassing crush on him.
“Do you want to, like, you know, go out with him?' Honestly she would much prefer to stay in with Nash, but that wasn't what Brett wanted to know. Two weeks ago she would have told her son that she never planned on dating or getting involved with a man ever. But Nash's arrival had shown her that there were some empty places in her life. While she would never be stupid enough to risk marriage, she wouldn't mind a little male companionship now and then.
“I can't imagine Nash and me on date,' she said truthfully. 'But your dad has been gone three years. While my feelings for him haven't changed, there will come a time when I want to start dating again.' Brett's blue eyes filled with tears. 'Why? Why can't you just love Dad?'
“Because he's gone.' She pulled him into a sitting position, then drew him into her arms. 'When you get a little older, you're going to think girls are a whole lot better than icky. I promise. So you're going to go out. You may even have a girlfriend.' He writhed in her arms. 'Mo-om.'
“Just listen. So you have this girl you really care about. Will you still love your brothers?' He looked at her. 'What does that have to do with anything?'
“Just answer the question. Will you still love them?'
“I guess. If they're not being dopey.'
“Will you still love me?'
“Sure.'
“That's my point. The human heart has the capacity to love as many people as we want to let into our lives. If I start dating or not, nothing about my feelings for you, the twins or even Dad are going to change. There's more than enough room for everyone.'
“But I like thinking about you with Dad.'
“You can keep thinking about that. I didn't leave him, honey. He died. We mourned him and we still love him. That's the right thing to do. But it's also right to live our lives and be happy. Don't you think your dad would have wanted that for all of us?' Stephanie knew that Marty would have loved the idea of being mourned endlessly by his wife and children, but she wasn't about to lay that guilt on her twelve-year-old.
Brett nodded slowly. 'But you're not going out with Nash.'
“I'm not.'
“Promise?'
“Nash and I will not go out of this house on a date.' She made an X over her heart. 'But that's as much as my
