didn't require anything of myself.'
It was as honest as he'd ever been in his life.
'I'm not proud of that past. I won't apologize for it, but I'm done with it. I'm not that guy anymore.'
He braced himself for a crack or worse, her withdrawal. Instead she leaned in and kissed him.
'I know,' she whispered. 'You've turned into someone quite amazing.'
He liked the sound of that. He put his hands on her waist and pulled her close. 'I've always been amazing.'
'Okay, maybe. But now it doesn't have anything to do with getting naked.'
He cupped her rear and squeezed. 'It could.'
She laughed softly. 'I have to get downstairs to your grandmother, but we're on for later, right?'
'Oh, yeah.'
She smiled and he smiled and then it was like someone hit him in the chest with a baseball bat. He felt the impact and the air rushed out of him and he couldn't breathe.
He loved her. Honest to God, he loved her. Everything about her. The way she talked, how her brain worked, the scent of her skin, her sense of humor, her combination of toughness and caring.
She was the best part of his world and she'd made him into a better man. He wanted her and he needed her.
He wanted to be with her always. He wanted to marry her.
'Reid? Are you all right?'
'I'm good.'
He wanted to tell her right that second, then he hesitated. Telling Lori he loved her was a big deal and he wanted to say it right. He wanted the moment to be special and powerful. He didn't want her thinking he was just grateful for how she'd handled the twins.
Tonight, he thought. When they were alone. He would confess his feelings and propose. Was there time to go buy a ring?
Her cell phone rang. She pulled it out of her pocket and glanced at the screen.
'It's Madeline,' she said, paling slightly. 'She would only bother me at work if there was an emergency.' She pushed the talk button. 'Hello?'
Reid waited while she listened. As he watched, the worry faded and elation took its place.
'Are you sure?' she asked. 'For real? When? Oh, my God! I'll be right there. I know. It's amazing. I love you.'
She hung up and grinned at him. 'She got the call. There's a donor.'
CHAPTER NINETEEN
LORI SAT on Madeline's bed and counted socks. 'We don't have to worry about you bringing everything,' she said. 'I can go get anything you need.'
'I know.' Madeline's lips turned up in a smile, but her eyes looked worried. 'I'll feel better when I have my suitcase packed.'
Lori suspected her sister's issues weren't about the suitcase. 'Are you okay?'
'Sure. I'm scared but excited. Did I mention scared?'
'Scared?' Reid asked as he carried in an empty suitcase and put it on Madeline's bed. 'Who's scared?'
'No one,' Madeline said with a smile. 'Just maybe a little chicken.'
'Which beats being a big chicken,' Reid said. 'Or a duck.'
Madeline laughed.
Lori stood and pulled her sister close. 'This is a great thing. You know that, right? It's your chance.'
'I know. I'm so grateful to find a match. I wasn't sure we ever would. I'm such a difficult blood type. But we did and now I have a chance again. That's all good. Reid, I don't want you to think I'm not grateful. You put yourself out there for me.'
'I delivered an important message,' he said. 'Nothing more.' He patted her arm. 'I'll leave you two to your packing.'
When he was gone Madeline sighed. 'He's a good man. I just wish there'd been more time.'
'What do you mean?' Lori asked.
'I'm not ready to do this.' Madeline held up her hand before Lori could protest. 'I know. Without a transplant, I die. I want the surgery. It's just…'
Lori understood. They were talking about a serious operation. 'You have a great doctor. Remember that.'
Madeline stepped back and smiled. 'I do. Still, it's weird to think about someone else's liver in my body. It sounds so gross.'
'It beats being dead.'
'You always did have a talent for putting things in perspective.' Madeline picked up a nightgown and folded it. 'I'm happy, of course. This is a chance for me to live a relatively normal life. But I also can't get my mind around the fact that someone else has to die to make this happen. I don't think I'm worthy of that.'
'You didn't kill the person. Even if you don't take their liver, they're still going to die.'
'I know, but…' She shook her head. 'I guess I can't explain it. I just feel weird. Happy and grateful, but weird.'
'You're not going to change your mind about the surgery, are you?'
Madeline shook her head. 'It's too late. Besides, how many people get a second chance like this? I want the operation. I never thought it would happen and yet it's here. But it does make me think. If I don't come back, I want you to be okay with that.'
Not come back? Madeline kept on talking, but Lori wasn't listening. Not come back?
Madeline had to come back. She, Lori, refused to accept any other outcome. Coming back was very much a part of the plan.
Until that moment, Lori had never thought of her sister dying in any but the most theoretical sense. Surgery could go badly, but that was for other people. Her sister had always been in her life. They were family. They had always been family.
'You can't die,' she blurted without thinking. 'I couldn't stand it.'
Madeline grabbed her hand, sat on the bed and pulled Lori next to her. 'I'm not going to die.'
'But you could. I knew that in time your liver could fail, but not now. It wouldn't be fair.'
'Life isn't about fair. Odds are, I'm going to pull through and be around for years, driving you crazy.'
Lori's eyes filled with tears. 'You're my best friend.'
Her sister's expression was kind. 'I know. You're mine.'
'I didn't know,' Lori muttered. 'I didn't know at all. I've loved you and hated you and all this time you've been my best friend.' She blinked back tears. 'I'm sorry.'
Madeline tucked a strand of Lori's hair behind her ear. 'For hating me? Don't be. If I were you, I would have hated me, too.'
'Because you're perfect.'
'I'm not perfect.'
'Hey, I was there. I have the pictures to prove it. I love you despite the fact that you're perfect.'
Madeline laughed. 'Thanks for being such a generous person, but you have to let go of the perfect thing. Perfect people don't get sick.'
'That's not your fault. You were in that car accident and you got a blood transfusion. That's out of your control.'
'Fine. My husband left me when I got sick. That doesn't happen to perfect people.'
Lori rolled her eyes. 'Again, not your fault. He's a jerk.'
'I picked him.'
'Oh. Yeah. Good point. So you have one flaw. Lousy taste in men.'
'It's a big flaw. Which makes me not perfect.'
