“Specifically for the kids. The corporate stuff happens to pay the bills.” The sofa shifted as Aaron stood. “Like I said, don’t hurt him.”
“As if I could. I’m not here to get the guy. I’m here to get better.”
Aaron said something and left, but she wasn’t paying attention. Until that second, she hadn’t been willing to admit the truth to herself. But there it was, at last. Her admission of something she’d been avoiding since she’d first found out she’d lost nearly all her sight. She wanted to get better. To heal. She didn’t know if that meant having the surgery or adjusting to what she had, but at least there was a goal.
It had been a long time since she wanted something. It felt good to have a purpose and maybe, just maybe, get it right.
“YOU’VE DONE THIS a thousand times,” Rita said calmly, as Izzy wrestled with getting the pad in the right spot.
“Jackson’s going to hate me pretty soon,” Izzy muttered, smoothing the pad in place. “Does this look right?”
“Don’t ask me,” Rita told her. “You’re the one saddling the horse.”
“You can be very frustrating,” Izzy told her, as she made a couple of adjustments. “Okay-that should be good.” She bent over to grab the saddle.
“I would appreciate a little cooperation,” she told the horse. “Just don’t step on me.”
“Jackson is too much a gentleman for that,” Rita said.
“I hope you’re right.”
She raised the saddle to what she hoped was the correct height and lowered it onto his back. When it was in place, she made sure the right stirrup was still hooked out of the way, then walked around him and checked the saddle placement by touch.
“This seems good,” she said quietly, patting Jackson as she went. She secured the saddle in place, grabbed it with both hands to make sure it was tight, then fumbled for the stirrup. “Now for the real test.”
She swung herself up into place. Except for the fact that she felt too far off the ground and dangerously vulnerable in a blurry world, it was good.
“I did it,” she said, oddly proud of herself.
“Yes, you did. Next time you’ll do it faster.”
“Why do I have visions of you holding a stopwatch?”
“I have no idea. I’m not the stopwatch type.”
Izzy removed the saddle and pad, putting both away before returning to Jackson’s side and offering him a piece of apple. “You were very good for me and I appreciate that.”
“Next we’ll get you exercising the horses,” Rita told her.
Izzy wasn’t too sure about that, but she would deal with that fight when it was time. For now she was getting through each day, making progress, albeit slowly. She was learning how to function. Sometimes she was pleased with her progress, other times she still wanted to scream at the heavens, complaining this shouldn’t have happened to her.
At least the nightmares hadn’t returned. Not since that night Nick had shown up and comforted her.
“Tell me about Nick,” she said.
“What do you want to know?”
“Has he been married?”
“Not that I know of. He keeps to himself, which is a shame. Every good man needs a wife.”
Izzy grinned. “So speaks someone who has been married a long time.”
“Why should I be the only one? Besides, my husband would be happy to tell you that I’m the best thing that ever happened to him.”
“I’m sure he would.”
“Nick is…complicated. I don’t know very much about his past and I’m not sure how much he’d tell you if you asked. He has secrets. I know he spent at least a year traveling the world, learning survival training. He’s studied with monks to learn to control his body-his breathing and heart rate. He is a surprising combination of dangerous and spiritual. Why do you ask? Interested?”
“What? No.” Afraid she was blushing, something she never did, Izzy turned away. “He runs this place. I’ve never met anyone who does what he does.”
“Uh-huh. You need a better story. No one’s going to believe that one.”
“I’m not interested. Not romantically or anything.”
“Are you saying you’d tell Nick no if he crawled in your bed?”
Actually he already had, although it hadn’t been for sex. Which now that she thought about it, was kind of sad. “He’s a friend,” she began.
Rita laughed. “Words every man longs to hear. If you decide to turn him away, send him over to me.”
“You’re happily married.”
“I know, but I’m still allowed to have fantasies. I doubt there’s a woman alive who would tell him no.”
Izzy suddenly had a burning need to know what he looked like. She had a sense of his height and shape. She knew he was strong and she could pick out his scent in the dark. But what about the rest of him? Did he smile much? What color were his eyes?
As for telling him no, she thought about their earlier conversation. How close they’d been standing. The way he’d touched her cheek. She’d liked the feel of his fingers on her skin and for a second, she’d thought he might kiss her.
An unexpected sense of loss made her chest hurt. She couldn’t shake the feeling of having missed out on something important. Which was insane. She was here because she had to be here. When she could get along in the real world, she would leave. Nick wasn’t any part of her life.
“Okay, go grab me a dandy brush from the storeroom,” Rita said. “Then it should be time for lunch.”
Izzy turned toward the barn. “I don’t like the storeroom. It’s too dark.”
“So?”
“It scares me.” Even with the lights on, she couldn’t see anything in the storeroom. “Like a creepy cave.”
“Life is full of creepy caves. Take them one at a time.”
Rita’s dismissal annoyed her. Everyone was so free with their advice. “I agree that I have to work through things, but not all in one day. Give me a break. I’m making progress. Isn’t that enough? Let me guess. It’s not. Because everyone here has an opinion about my life. You don’t know what it’s like to be blind.”
“Neither do you. You have thirty percent of your sight.”
“Big whoop.”
“It would be to someone who was totally blind. To them you’d have everything.”
“Right. Because I always have to remember there are people worse off than me.”
“Not worse off. Just dealing with more. And you’re wrong about me. I do know what it’s like to be blind because I am. Completely. Have been since birth.”
She kept talking, but Izzy couldn’t hear the words.
Rita, blind? But she ran the stable. She fed and exercised all the horses, knew where they were, took care of them. She told Izzy what to do, explained how and then corrected her if she was wrong. She moved easily, never stumbling.
“I don’t understand,” Izzy breathed.
“What’s to understand? It’s a pretty straightforward condition. My parents put me on a horse when I was four and I never wanted to get off. I’ve always been around them. They seem to know I can’t see because I’ve never been stepped on or even pushed down. Nick had to pay a lot of money to get me away from my last job. But I was interested in a change and he sweet-talked me the rest of the way.”
Blind. Izzy couldn’t believe it. “I never would have guessed.”
“No offense, but you’re not tough to fool. It’s not like you see 20/20.” Rita patted her on the shoulder. “It’s only the dark, kid. Just because you can’t see what’s there doesn’t mean you should be afraid. It’s only the dark.”
It was a whole lot more than that, but Izzy wasn’t going to argue. Especially not with Rita, who obviously had no trouble getting along in the world. There was a lesson there, Izzy thought. One about courage and determination. One she apparently needed to learn.
TWO DAYS LATER Izzy stood in the shade, grooming Jackson. She and the horse had come to terms with each
