Jamie stayed at his side. Zach was seven years older than her, and he’d been in the agency seven years before she’d joined. That meant fourteen years in the field, altogether. A lifetime. No wonder he didn’t do well in the real world. If she could barely remember what it was like to be a regular person, to him it was probably just a half- remembered dream. Could she change that or was she wishing for the moon?
They turned right at the corner and spotted the hotel a few blocks up. By mutual agreement, they slowed to a walk to start their cool down.
“You did great,” she said.
“It’s getting better.” He wiped the sweat from his face. “At least here the terrain is level. At the cabin, I can’t get away from uphill running.”
“I know. But think of the great workout.”
He shook his head. “I prefer this, thanks.”
She thought about him running in the woods. Every day she watched him go away, then come back. She wanted to believe it would always be like that. Sometimes he would have to leave her, but later he would return. Was that possible, or would he one day just keep going? After all, they had a deal.
She shook her head to banish the question. She didn’t want to spoil their time together. It was enough that they were here and having fun. She wouldn’t deal with the “what ifs” until she had to.
When they reached the front of the hotel, they stretched their aching muscles.
“How do you feel?” Jamie asked.
“Not bad.” He tugged on the end of her ponytail. “What do you want to do with the rest of our day?”
Make love. For a second, she wasn’t sure if she’d just thought the words or actually said them. Zach continued to look at her inquiringly, so she figured she’d only thought them. Fighting a sudden burst of shyness, she could only duck her head and say, “I’m not familiar with the city. What would you like to do?”
He draped his arm around her shoulders and ushered her into the hotel. “I was thinking about a visit to the zoo. How does that sound?”
“I haven’t been to a zoo since I was kid. It sounds great.”
Zach stared at the pacing leopard. Unlike some zoos he’d seen in the past, the Denver zoo emphasized natural habitats. The animal had the feel of being in the wild, although it knew it was confined. The illusion of freedom was something Zach understood. In an odd way, he’d come to pay his respects to those most like him-the caged beasts.
“They’re so beautiful,” Jamie said, leaning against the railing. “Seeing large cats on television is impressive enough, but that doesn’t give you any sense of their strength. Even from this distance, I can see his shoulder muscles bunching and releasing with each step. He could rip a person apart with a casual blow.”
“Then eat you from the inside out,” Zach said.
Jamie glanced at him. “Thanks so much for the share. That’s a cheerful thought I want to carry with me.”
He tapped the end of her nose. “Don’t worry. You wouldn’t be his first choice. Meat eaters prefer to dine on plant eaters.”
Her dark blond eyebrows drew together. “How’d you know that?”
“I’m a repository for useless bits of trivia.”
“All right, answer me this. Are black leopards solid black?”
He turned his attention back to the pacing animal. It moved through the shadows of several rocks. “No. Watch when it comes out into the sun. You’ll be able to see that black leopards are spotted like their lighter cousins. They also have the same squared nose and wide head. With that information, we’ve exhausted everything I know about leopards.”
“It’s more than me,” she said, and leaned against him.
He wrapped his arms around her. She wore an oversize sweater and tight jeans. He rested one hand on her hip and buried the other in her loose hair.
“What do you suppose they think about?” she asked.
“Getting out. But if they’ve spent their whole lives in a cage, they wouldn’t know what to do with their freedom.”
Other people liked different animals at the zoo. The birds, or maybe the primates. Not Zach. The cats had always reminded him of himself. He knew exactly how they felt as they paced back and forth. His cage was larger, and he couldn’t always see the bars, but it was still there.
He was a prisoner of the life he’d chosen, a prisoner of his past. He wasn’t free to come and go like everyone else.
Jamie placed her hand flat on his chest. Desire flickered through him. He liked being around her. She reminded him he was alive and could still experience physical need.
“There’s something familiar about that animal,” she said, and frowned. “I just can’t quite figure it out.” She stared for a couple of seconds, then snapped her fingers. “I know. It’s you. You pace the cabin just like that.”
“You’re right,” he said, surprised that she got it. “We’re both trapped. I can’t come out, neither can he. We’d both be too dangerous to let loose.”
Jamie glanced up at him. Her hazel eyes had a greenish tint that made her look faintly exotic. Her mouth twitched, then she started to laugh.
“Gee, Zach, could you be more melodramatic? I mean, I’m sure that line works great on the bimbos you normally go out with, but you’re going to have to do better with me. ‘We’re both too dangerous to let loose,’” she said, mocking him sotto voce. “Get over it. You’re a spy, not an assassin. We’ve both done some dangerous and scary things, but we haven’t been brainwashed into behaving like monsters. You make it so complicated.”
His first instinct was to get angry with her. It faded in the light of the obvious affection shining from her face. She cared for him. He knew that. He didn’t know how much, nor did he want to. For now those feelings were enough to make him smile.
“Okay, maybe I was a little melodramatic,” he admitted.
“A little? You’re too dangerous to be let loose?” She laughed again and hugged him.
He kissed the top of her head. This was the Jamie he liked best. The one who wasn’t afraid of him. “You’ve always been disrespectful of your elders,” he said. “I should have written you up during training.”
She pushed away and planted her hands on her hips. “I was the best recruit you ever trained, mister, so don’t be telling me I did anything wrong.”
Sunlight made her hair gleam. Her skin was clear, slightly tanned and touched with pink. Her mouth parted. She wasn’t elegant or sophisticated. He knew she didn’t even believe in her own femininity, but in his mind, she was the best thing that had ever happened to him.
“You always were fearless,” he said.
“Sometimes that got me into trouble, but most of the time, it saved my butt.”
“Mine, too.”
Her smile faded. “I couldn’t have left you there to die. I would have come after you, no matter what Winston had told me. Even if I’d had to do it on my own.”
Her hazel eyes saw too much. Because of their shared life-style, she knew most of what he’d been through and she could accurately guess at the rest. Her knowledge made him want to hide, because there were some things he couldn’t bear to think about. It also made him want to trust her more.
“Zach, I-” She paused. An emotion flitted across her face. One that made his chest tighten and his heart thunder. He didn’t dare name it. He didn’t want to think about what would generate those feelings in her. Yet he couldn’t look away.
He didn’t want her to care. He couldn’t handle that. Caring implied the potential for a relationship. Or was he just fooling himself by thinking they didn’t have one already? He didn’t know how to play this game, and the rules were unfamiliar to him. The only thing certain was he didn’t want Jamie to leave him today. He could bear anything but that, even the knowledge that she would leave him eventually.
Before she could say anything else, a family came around the corner and joined them by the enclosure. Zach glanced at the two parents, the infant in the stroller and the small child bringing up the rear.
The little girl couldn’t be much more than four, with short, tousled red hair, freckles and huge blue eyes. She wore a miniature khaki jacket over jeans.
Jamie glanced at the family and smiled. The little girl smiled shyly back, then hurried toward the enclosure.
