Nicole. I wish you’d called me and talked to me.”
“I hated you then, remember?”
Claire dismissed that reality with a flick of her fingers. “Still, I would have listened.”
Nicole didn’t bother pointing out she wouldn’t have called. “I knew the marriage was a mistake within the first couple of months, but I was too proud to say anything or do anything. So we stayed together. By the time he slept with Jesse, I was emotionally divorced already. It still hurt, but I was so much more angry at her than him. That says something.”
“I know. So it’s different with Hawk?”
Nicole thought about the sexy, stubborn, difficult, amazing man she’d gotten to know over the past few months.
“More than different. Hawk makes me crazy in the best way possible. I just have to be around him and I can’t catch my breath. He makes me laugh, we talk about stuff. He’s fun and responsible. He cares so much about his kids and yet he has an ego the size of the
“Perfect.”
“No, but he’s perfect for me.”
Claire clutched her tea. “I’m going to cry again.”
“That’s getting really boring.”
“You try being pregnant. The hormones are a nightmare. Sometimes I feel like a character in a horror movie. My point is, you’ll get through this. The situation with Brittany will be resolved and then you and Hawk can get back to being in love.”
It hurt to think the truth, let alone say it, but Nicole wasn’t going to lie to herself. “He’s not in love. He likes me, but I’m no Serena.”
“Does he want a replacement for her?”
“I don’t think he wants anything romantically. In his mind, he’s had it all. A wife, a kid, a great career. He’s not interested in more children and he’s not looking to get serious.” He was everything she wanted and nothing she could have.
“Maybe he’ll change his mind.”
“Maybe.” Nicole wasn’t holding her breath for the possibility.
“You can’t give up hope.”
Nicole shook her head. “
“You’re going to walk away?”
“I’m going to see how this plays out. That’s all I can do.”
NICOLE HAD a restless day. She ended up cleaning bathrooms, which only went to show how bad things were. She hated cleaning bathrooms. But it beat wandering from room to room, wondering what was happening with Raoul and Brittany and wishing Hawk would call and say he wasn’t mad at her anymore.
Wanting to hear from him was so pathetic, she told herself. She was a totally self-sufficient, self-actualized woman. She’d been successfully running the family business since she was a teenager. She didn’t need Hawk’s approval. So what if he was blaming her rather than taking responsibility himself? She didn’t care.
Except she did. She cared a lot and she missed him. She also missed Raoul, which was weird. The kid had only been living with her for a month or so. Even Sheila seemed to be moping a little.
Rather than indulge in self-pity, Nicole collected cleaning supplies and attacked Raoul’s bathroom. She made the tub sparkle, the shower doors streak-free, then started tidying up the long counter. There was a half-open box of condoms just behind the cup dispenser. She shook the box.
“Should have used them every time,” she murmured. That would have solved a lot of problems.
Of course condoms weren’t a hundred percent effective. So they might have always used them.
Nicole stared at the box. Condoms failed. She and Hawk used condoms. Except for that last time. Not that she could be pregnant. It was the wrong time of the month. She was sure of it.
Panic was a funny thing. Sometimes it came in big rushes, but sometimes it started so small it was hard to recognize the feeling. Sometimes it was nothing more than a flicker that grew and grew until it filled the room and made it impossible to breathe.
The phone rang.
Nicole jumped then ran to her bedroom.
“Hello?”
“It’s Raoul.”
Relief was instant and sweet. “Where are you? Are you okay? What’s going on? Did you try to get married? Did you consider that using a fake ID invalidates the marriage? When are you coming home?”
There was a slight pause, then he said, “That’s a lot of questions.”
“Answer them in any order. No. Start with telling me if you’re okay.”
“I’m okay. We both are. We’re not married, we didn’t try.” He paused again. “There’s no baby.”
Nicole sank onto her bed. “You’re sure?”
“Yeah. She got her period. Brittany isn’t pregnant.”
Thank God, Nicole thought. “Are you okay with that? Is she?”
“We’re good. She was a little upset at first, but now she’s better. I’m…” He cleared his throat. “I started thinking about what you said before. About something going wrong. Me busting up my knee or something. I got scared. I’m glad there’s no baby. Is that bad?”
“Of course not. You’re still in high school. Why would you want to take on that kind of responsibility?”
“I still want a family.”
A place to belong, she thought, recognizing the longing in his voice.
“I’m your family,” she said. “I miss you. So does Sheila. This is your home, Raoul.”
“Still?”
“You mean because you took off in the night and didn’t give me any warning except a crappy note?”
“I’m sorry about that. I wanted to tell you but Brittany was afraid you’d try to stop us.”
“She’s a smart girl.” Spoiled, but smart. “You’re still welcome to live here. Although we’re going to have a long talk about the rules. There will be some new ones. When are you coming home?”
“Today. Brittany’s on her cell phone with her dad. They seem to be getting along again. She’ll be moving back home.”
That was a relief, Nicole thought. “She’ll be happier there,” is what she said, followed by, “Drive safely.”
“I will.”
“Good.”
“I would have done it,” he said. “I would have taken care of her and the baby.”
“I know.”
“I’m glad I don’t have to right now.”
“Me, too.”
“Thanks, Nicole. You’ve been great. I couldn’t have gotten through this without you.”
She felt all warm and squishy inside. Having Raoul around was like having a better version of Jesse home.
“Hurry back,” she said.
“We will. Bye.”
She hung up. It was a good ending to what could have been a disaster. Brittany moving back with her dad was also a plus. Let Hawk deal with his little princess. She had enough on her plate right now.
She put down the phone and walked into the hallway. On the top shelf of the linen closet was the pregnancy kit Brittany had left. There were still two tests left inside.
Nicole thought about the condoms and how her luck had been running lately, then she carried the box into her bathroom.
Ten minutes later, she stared at the plastic stick.
There was still a baby, she thought, unable to believe the news. It just wasn’t the one everyone thought.
