both going to grow up. I think I’m going to have an easier job of it, but I’m willing to be wrong.”
“I hate you.” Tears spilled onto her cheeks.
“I’m okay with that.”
“I’ll never forgive you.”
“Not a problem.”
She fled the room and thundered upstairs. Her cell phone began to ring. Hawk turned it off.
He’d screwed up royally. With Brittany and with Nicole. He needed his daughter to figure out her responsibility in all this, and he had to make things right with Nicole. But how? How to convince her that he’d been surprised by the news, not angry.
A baby. They were having a baby.
He’d never thought about having more children, but why not? She would be a great mom and he would know more than he had with Brittany. Besides, he loved Nicole and wanted to be with her. If she loved him, then they could be a family together.
But how to convince her he meant what he said? How to show her that he was the right man? How to win her back forever?
THE LAST THING Nicole wanted to do was go to a football game. But it was the last game of the season and Raoul had wanted her to see him play.
They’d spent more time together this past week. With Brittany grounded, he’d been home every night and they’d spent quiet evenings reading or watching TV. It was like having a baby brother around and Nicole knew she would miss Raoul when he went off to college.
As she settled on the bleacher seat, she thought about how much her life had changed in the past couple of months. She’d lost Jesse and she still couldn’t decide if that was a good thing or not. Her heart cried out for Nicole to find her sister and bring her home. Her gut and her head said Jesse had to figure it out on her own.
There were other changes, too. Raoul and Sheila. Nicole had never thought of getting a dog, but she liked the company. Now she was going to have a baby.
Even though her child was probably the size of a pea, Nicole was still excited. She ignored the fear that said she’d totally messed up with her sister. After all, she’d been a kid herself. She knew a lot more now. She wanted to have a baby, be a family. While she’d never seen herself as a single mother, she wasn’t worried about being on her own. She was more than capable. Not to mention the fact that she had a great support system in place.
She hadn’t heard from Hawk in a couple of days. She knew she would eventually. Even if the thought of another child horrified him, he wasn’t the type of guy to walk away from his responsibilities. So he would want to work out a sensible arrangement. It was too bad that he couldn’t be enough in love with her to put his past behind him and live in the present.
But he wasn’t. She appreciated that he’d been willing to say he loved her. That meant something. He just didn’t love her enough to want it all.
Several of the parents called to her. She waved, but didn’t try to talk to anyone. She would simply get through the game then go home. It hurt to be here. It hurt to try not to look at the field and then have her gaze shift that way so that she could see Hawk.
She wondered how long it would be until she could see him and not feel that painful combination of need and longing. The sexual draw was as strong as ever, but even worse was the love that welled up inside of her. She’d fallen for yet another disaster of a man and didn’t seem to be in any hurry to get over him.
Maybe she should give up on romantic love. She could fill her life with other things. Oh, but she would miss him.
She shifted her attention to the guys on the field and easily found Raoul. He looked up and waved. He was too far away for her to be sure he was smiling, but she sensed he was. He felt responsible for her, now that she was pregnant. Crazy but true, and she adored him for it.
“Nicole?”
Nicole turned and saw Brittany standing next to her. Nicole went on alert, not sure what the teenager intended. But instead of screaming, Brittany sat down and ducked her head.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured in a low voice. “About how I acted before. My dad says I’m not very mature, and I guess he’s right. I’ve had a lot of time to think while I’ve been grounded, and Raoul’s been yelling at me about how I hurt you.”
She raised her gaze. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to do that. I just wanted to act out. I still do, but I’m trying not to.”
Nicole didn’t know what to say. While she appreciated the apology, she didn’t totally trust it. “It was a lot to take in,” she said carefully.
Brittany smiled. “I know. First me, then you. I still don’t like thinking about my dad doing, you know, that.”
“I get it. Parental relationships should not happen in the open.”
“Yeah. But I want us to stay friends. Raoul was right. You’ve been really great to me and I’m sorry for how I acted.”
Nicole knew the apology was a big deal. “Thanks for saying that. I appreciate it.”
“Are we still friends?”
Nicole wasn’t sure, but she nodded. Brittany would always be dramatic, but Nicole wasn’t going to escape her any more easily than she would escape Hawk.
The teenager leaned toward her. “You’re having my baby brother or sister. It’s kinda cool. Maybe when I come home from college, I can babysit or something.”
“Sure.” Nicole wouldn’t hold her breath for that to happen, but it was nice that Brittany was interested instead of screaming.
“He really likes you,” Brittany confided. “It freaked me out at first, but it’s been a long time. Since my mom died. I guess when I’m gone, he’s going to need someone.”
It was a peace offering, however lacking in graciousness. Nicole took it in the spirit in which it was meant. “Thanks.”
Hawk “needing someone” wasn’t what she wanted to hear. She wanted him to tell her he was desperately in love with her. That she mattered, that she was the best part of his day. He didn’t have to claim to love her more than he’d loved Serena. The other woman would always be a part of him. She knew he wouldn’t be the man she loved without that important relationship. But she wanted to hear that he could love her as much. Just differently. That he wanted to grow old with her, have a family with her. She wanted to be more than a convenience or a good time.
None of which she said to Brittany. “Thanks for telling me all this,” she murmured instead.
“Okay. I gotta get down to the field for the game. See ya.”
Nicole watched her go. She felt her gaze slip to Hawk again, who was watching her. He waved and she waved back. Which meant what? She didn’t have an answer.
The game started a few minutes later. Hawk’s guys easily scored three touchdowns in the first two quarters. Five seconds before halftime, the score was twenty-one to ten. The guys were getting ready to leave the field when the band started a fanfare that quickly turned into the wedding march.
Nicole frowned. What on earth? Then the crowd gasped.
“Nicole, look!”
She stared at the reader board and saw it had changed from the score to a message.
“Nicole, marry me.”
Her body froze. This was not happening. She wanted to bolt, but she couldn’t seem to move. Then she looked down at the field and saw Hawk grinning up at her as if this was the coolest thing in the world.
Just like that? He proposed in public? No conversation, no apology for ducking out on her, no talk about the reality of their situation and how they were going to deal with the complications of her life and his life and the life they’d created together? Just a proposal, because hey, if he was willing to marry her, everything had to be okay?
She hadn’t thought the pain could get worse, but it did. If he’d really loved her, he would have talked to her. Didn’t he understand how much she needed to hear the words and believe them?
She could feel him watching her. Actually, she could feel everyone watching her. Heat climbed her cheeks. She just wanted to disappear.
