about finding a sitter. Gabe adored his grandmother and the feeling was mutual.
“I know a quiet Italian place close to you,” he said. “Grazies.” He gave her the address and simple directions. “Seven?”
“That’s fine. I’ll be there.”
JESSE PULLED INTO THE parking lot a couple of minutes early, which gave her a chance to check her makeup in the rearview mirror and try to get her breathing under control. She was beyond nervous and telling herself to get a grip wasn’t helping.
Too much had happened too fast. Coming home, dealing with family, seeing Matt, knowing everyone in Seattle she cared about hated her. The irony with Matt was she hadn’t done anything wrong. She’d fallen in love with him, nothing more. Yet he blamed her for so much.
“Deep breaths,” she told herself as she climbed out of her car and walked toward the restaurant.
Matt was waiting by the front desk, looking tall and handsome in a long-sleeved shirt and slacks. He’d come a long way from that geeky computer nerd she’d first met in a Starbucks years ago. But were all the changes on the outside or had he transformed who he was inside as well?
They were led to a booth by a window overlooking the patio. Jesse slid in then took the offered menu. Despite how great everything sounded, she didn’t know if she was going to be able to eat. Not sitting across from Matt.
He thanked their server and studied the wine list. “They have a nice selection of Italian wines,” he told her. “Any preferences?”
“No. Whatever looks good to you is fine.”
He nodded, still studying the wines.
She remembered the first time they’d gone to dinner at the Olive Garden. She’d thought he was adorable. She still remembered the flash of his smile and how she’d realized he was someone she might have to worry about.
“What are you thinking?” Matt asked.
“Nothing much.”
“It was something. You had an interesting look on your face.”
She didn’t feel that telling him the truth was a good idea. “I saw Nicole today. We had a tasting for the brownies I’ve been working on and she liked them. We’re going to start selling them in the bakery.”
“That’s good. Things are going well with her?”
Jesse thought about her sister’s determination to think the worst of her. “We’re making progress.”
“You’re still staying with my mother?”
“Yes.” Did he want to hear about the woman who’d raised him? Did he miss her? “She’s been wonderful. Gabe thinks she’s fabulous and she can’t get enough of him. They play and watch movies and go for walks. I kind of feel guilty for having so much free time. It’s been nice.”
Matt’s expression was impossible to read. She searched his dark eyes, but he wasn’t giving anything away.
She hesitated, then said, “She’s changed. Before she didn’t want anything to do with me. I think she would have been happy if I’d been run over by a truck and left on the side of the road.”
“Probably,” Matt told her.
Ouch. Not that it wasn’t true. “But she’s different now. Open. She wants a relationship with me and Gabe.” Jesse touched her water glass but didn’t pick it up. “She misses you.”
The server appeared. Jesse sighed at the timing. They placed their orders. When they were alone again, she said, “What happened between the two of you? You used to be so close. I know I got caught in the middle.”
He stared at her for a long time. “I never forgave her for telling me about you and Drew.”
His voice was low and flat. Despite her innocence, she flushed. The humiliation was hard to escape.
Paula had come to the house to do whatever she could to break up Jesse and Matt. Nicole had told her that Jesse no longer lived there and had gone into detail as to why. Paula hadn’t wasted any time in rushing to tell her son about Jesse’s supposed affair with her sister’s husband.
Jesse still ached with the unfairness of what had happened. She’d gotten away with so much when she’d been a teenager, then she’d been damned by something that hadn’t happened at all.
“I never forgave her for that,” Matt said. “Not for telling me, but for being so happy about it.”
“She’s sorry,” Jesse said, feeling that the Paula issue was more easily fixed than her own situation. “She misses you.”
“You’re taking her side?” He sounded surprised.
“Yes. I told you, she’s changed. She’s been great to me and Gabe. I wish she and I could have become friends five years ago. We both had you in common.”
“You’re giving her too much credit.”
“I don’t think so. We all make mistakes.”
He looked at her. “Including you?”
“My list is long and impressive, but it doesn’t include sleeping with Drew.”
“Jesse,” he began.
She shook her head. “No, Matt. I have to say this. I have to explain.” For the second time that day, she told the story of that horrible night. When Drew had sat on the edge of her bed and she’d poured out her heart and he’d told her she wasn’t a one-guy woman. She left out the part about finding the engagement ring, saying instead that she knew she was in love with him and terrified of messing up. An equal truth, she thought.
“I never slept with him,” she concluded. “I never wanted to. He was wrong about me. You were the one I was in love with. Just you.”
She couldn’t tell what he was thinking, if he believed her or not. She wished there were better words to convince him.
“I know you’ve spent the past five years thinking the worst of me,” she said. “I know it’s going to take a little time to consider that there might be another explanation for what happened. Can you at least be open to the possibility?”
“I can try.”
“It’s a place to start.”
The server returned with their bottle of wine. After she’d opened it and Matt had tasted it, she poured them each a glass and left.
He picked up his wine. “To new beginnings.”
She touched her glass to his and hoped new beginnings were possible.
They ate their salads and talked about how Seattle had changed. When the entrees arrived, she asked him about his business. “When did you go out on your own?”
“Four years ago. I had some ideas that didn’t fit in with what I’d been doing at Microsoft. With the money I had from the games I’d licensed, I was able to start up without bank financing.”
“And keep all the profits for yourself.”
“How do you know there are profits?” he asked.
“I’ve seen your house.”
“I’ve been fortunate.”
More than that, she thought. “Now you’re the boss. How does that feel?”
“I like it,” he admitted. “Having a staff means I can focus on what I want to do. They take care of the details.” He cut into his chicken. “You’d like my assistant. Diane. She’s opinionated and does her best to run my life.”
“I’m surprised you allow that.”
“I don’t, but she ignores me.”
“Then she must be really good at her job.”
“She is.”
Jesse liked that Matt kept a mouthy assistant around, although she couldn’t say why. Did it make him more approachable? More like the man she remembered?
“Are you ever going to believe me?” she asked. “Is this ever going to be okay?”
He looked at her for a long time before reaching across the table and touching her hand. “I want it to be,” he said.
