“And you didn’t say I shouldn’t say anything.”
“Right.”
“And you really should have mentioned it to them before this.”
He crossed to the single chair in the room and sank onto the cushion. “Apparently.”
“Are they hysterical?”
“Tessa’s done her rosary twice and is begging me to tell her that my ex is dead, because a dead wife is a whole lot better than divorce in her book. Grammy M and Colleen are hurt, and Brenna and Mia are mad. I haven’t talked with Marco or Lorenzo yet, but I’m sure they’ll give me an earful.”
He seemed surprised. Men, she thought. Sometimes they weren’t all that bright.
“They’re your family. You may not think of them as such, but they think of themselves that way. It’s not like you stubbed your toe and forgot to mention it. You were
He shrugged. “I’m not married now. Haven’t been in a while.”
“What happened?” she asked. “I mean why did you guys split up?”
He stared at her without speaking. Darcy figured he was trying to intimidate her. While it kind of worked, she wanted to know more than she was afraid of him.
“It’s a logical question,” she told him. “You’d ask me the same thing if our positions were reversed.”
“No, I wouldn’t.”
“Okay. Your loss. So what happened?”
Joe leaned back in the chair and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “She couldn’t handle me having to leave without any notice and being gone for months at a time. I’d warned her what it would be like, and she said it was fine. But hearing about it and living it were different. One time I came home and she was gone.”
Darcy’s heart cracked a little in sympathy. “I’m sorry. That must have been horrible.”
“It wasn’t one of my best moments.” He shrugged. “I got over her quicker than I should have, which says something about the state of our relationship, but I really missed the kids.”
“How many?”
“Two. Eight and ten. They were great,” he said with a smile that told her he had a lot of good memories. “Later, when I realized who I missed the most, I wondered if they were the real reason I’d wanted to get married. To have an instant family.”
As soon as the words were out, he straightened, getting all stiff, as if he regretted the confession.
He’d wanted children in his life? She never would have guessed.
“That’s just so sad,” she told him.
“Whatever. I got over it.” He looked at her. “My family doesn’t need to know about the kids.”
“Not a problem. I won’t say anything. I didn’t mean to spill secrets about your divorce.”
“I know. I should have told them myself.”
But he hadn’t. Knowing him as she did, she could guess why. But what didn’t make sense was why he’d told her.
Shortly after midnight, Alex found himself walking restlessly through the small guesthouse. He should have been getting some sleep. He wasn’t on duty, and come morning there would be plenty to do. But he wasn’t sleepy and the light still shining under Paige’s door beckoned him like a siren’s call.
She’d changed, he acknowledged. Softened, but not in a way that interfered with her doing her job. In that respect, she was as focused as always. She seemed more balanced, more connected with people. The drive had faded, maybe disappeared. He would have bet on her staying as career driven as she’d been when he’d first met her, and it pissed him off that the change was due to another man.
He paused outside of her door and put his hand on the knob. Going in would be stupid and weak. Better to walk away. He’d managed to forget about her once before. In fact, after they’d split up and gone their separate ways, he’d barely thought about her at all. So what was the big deal now? He could-
He knocked on the door and opened it at the same time. Paige sat on her bed, reading. There was a glass of wine on the nightstand and soft music playing in the background.
She raised her eyebrows. “It’s a little late for business,” she said. “And we’re officially off duty.”
“I know.”
He started to back out of the room, but she gestured to the open bottle of wine on the dresser. “Help yourself,” she told him.
There was a second glass on the tray. Had she been expecting company? Expecting him?
After pouring himself a glass of chardonnay, he moved to the overstuffed chair in the corner of the room and sank down.
“The assignment’s going well,” he said into the silence.
Paige closed her book and set it beside her. She wore the same pajamas he’d seen her in before. A tank top over loose pants. No bra. The curve of her breast was clearly visible, as was the slight pucker of her nipple.
She picked up her wine and took a sip. “I agree. Darcy is relaxing, which is good. I had an interesting talk with Joe today. He thinks Darcy should receive some advanced self-defense training. Maybe get started in some form of martial arts. He also suggested I put together a workout program for her that will get her into some heavy weights.”
Alex wasn’t sure it would help. “She was taken by four men. Very few women would be able to stop that.”
“Agreed, but the training and additional strength would give her more of a sense of control. That might help her sleep at night.”
He worried more about the subject’s physical safety than her emotional state of mind. Still it couldn’t hurt.
“Whatever you want to do with her is fine with me,” he said.
“How thrilled I am to have my leader’s permission,” she said with a grin. “I know Darcy will do the dance of joy.”
He felt the teasing more than he should have. “Why were you telling me if not to get permission.”
“I was having a conversation, Alex. You might remember them.”
She thought he was too into the job. Not interesting enough. The assessment stung. He’d had to work his ass off to get his present assignment. She, of all people, should appreciate that.
“I know how to have a conversation,” he said. “Let’s have one. Do you miss being married?”
He wasn’t sure if the question surprised her, but it shocked the hell out of him. He’d planned on saying something about the winery. Those other words had come from nowhere.
“I miss Ben,” she said quietly. Her green eyes seemed to darken with what? Memories? Pain?
“A lot of people were surprised when you got married,” he said. Mostly him. “What happened?”
“The usual.” She smiled. “I met Ben and fell in love.”
She’d claimed to love
“It screwed up your career,” he said.
“If you mean I didn’t get ahead as quickly as I could have, that’s true. On the other hand, I actually had a private life, and that was very important to me. Ben taught me life isn’t an all-or-nothing sport. There are points of compromise, and sometimes that’s even better than winning.”
On what planet? Alex drank more wine and wished they were talking about anything else.
“When I met Ben,” she continued, “I warned him I would work long hours and have to travel. He said he would rather have me around some of the time than not at all. It was a unique perspective.”
Alex didn’t know what to do with that information. “So, how did he die?”
“Lymphoma. He had it when we met, but he was in remission. Unfortunately, it came back and then he died.”
Alex stared at her. “You knew he was dying when you married him?”
“I knew the disease was likely to reoccur and that the odds of us growing old together were slim.”
“Why would you do that?”
Paige smiled. “Because I loved him. Because I would rather have had a short time with him than none at all.”
Annoyance flared into something bigger and hotter. “You were willing to give up your career for some guy who was dying, but you broke up with me because your career was all-important?”
