there’s no reason to think anything has changed.”
Brenna leaned over the row of grapes and hugged her. “Wow. This is so amazing. You’re going to have a baby!” She straightened. “Okay, so this isn’t exactly how you had your life plan set up. I know you don’t want a husband, but kids are different. Aren’t you thrilled?”
“I don’t know.”
Brenna smiled. “You should be. A baby! Remember how we used to talk about how many kids we’d have and how they’d all grow up playing with each other, like you, me, and Katie did? How we’d take them to that grove of trees and let them play dress-up? You’re having a baby!”
Francesca touched her still-flat stomach. “Honestly, Brenna, I don’t know what I feel. I’m scared, I’m excited, I’m worried. And if we’re going to have our kids all playing together, then you’d better get a bun in the oven of your own.”
Brenna grimaced. “That would require me having sex, and right now that’s not likely to happen. But with Katie getting married, there will be cousins for your little one.”
Brenna stopped talking and sucked in a breath. “You haven’t told Sam yet, have you?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know what to say.”
Brenna stared at her. “How about something along the lines of ‘Hey, big guy. One of your little tadpoles got a bit too frisky.’ ”
Despite her emotional angst, she couldn’t help smiling. “You really want me to call him ‘big guy’ and refer to his sperm as tadpoles?”
“Maybe not.” Brenna turned toward the winery. “This is sure going to change your life.”
“Tell me about it.”
“So why haven’t you told him?” Brenna asked.
“A lot of reasons. For one thing, I’ve been in shock. We used a condom. I know they’re not a hundred percent effective, but having me get pregnant the first night seems really unfair.”
Brenna looked at her. “That’s a pretty lousy argument.”
“Agreed. I’m… scared. At first I didn’t want to say anything because he was dealing with Kelly showing up in his life and-”
Brenna swore. “Kelly! I’d forgotten all about her. Oh, kid, you are in big trouble. Practically the same week Sam finds out he’s the father of a teenager, you turn up pregnant. Talk about lousy timing.”
“You’re not making me feel better,” Francesca told her. “But you’re also right. That’s why I waited. I didn’t want to dump this on him, and I was still getting used to the idea myself. Then I found out we had a brother and it’s been crazy.”
“And?”
Francesca sighed. “And Sam is having a tough time adjusting to Kelly. She’s a great kid, but a handful. Last week he got really angry and said some things about her disrupting his life and how he didn’t ask for the responsibility.”
“If he doesn’t want Kelly, he’s not going to want your baby?”
Francesca wasn’t surprised Brenna understood. “Yeah. Plus, things have been really good with Sam and telling him is going to change all of that.”
“You think?”
“I’m so screwed,” Francesca muttered.
“You’re also not ’fessing up to the most important part.”
“What?”
Brenna stopped walking and faced her. “You don’t want to tell Sam because you don’t want to hear what he has to say. Not because he’s going to reject your child, but because you have this fantasy in mind. One in which he sweeps you off your feet and confesses undying love.”
Francesca rolled her eyes. “That’s so much bull.”
“Is it? You’re nearly as romantic as Katie. You’re like the middle child, seeing everyone’s point of view, rescuing the world. Sam is a great guy. After years of not wanting a man in your life, you finally hook up with him and he’s terrific. Sexy, smart, successful. It’s okay if you fall for him.”
“I didn’t fall for him. I don’t love him. I don’t want anything from him but sex. Now we’re having a child and that complicates everything.”
“No way,” Brenna told her. “The baby is just logistics. If you weren’t worried about getting hurt, you would have told him. You have to work out details like custody. If your heart weren’t engaged, stuff like that wouldn’t matter.”
Francesca didn’t like anything her sister was saying. “You’re wrong.”
“You don’t want to admit I’m right because it scares the crap out of you and because you don’t like me figuring out something about you that you couldn’t figure out yourself. It violates your view of yourself as psychologically superior.”
The verbal slam caught Francesca like a blow. “That is so unfair.”
Brenna shrugged. “It’s true. You planned this whole affair with Sam as if you were shopping for a wardrobe. Oh, you need a little black dress, so go to the stores until you find the right one. But this isn’t a dress. It’s sex. And you’re not shallow enough to give your body without your heart being engaged.”
“It’s not about being shallow. It’s about being sensible. I don’t want a man in my life right now.”
“According to you, you don’t want one ever. You’re afraid, Francesca. Like I said, it’s been twenty years since you were the dumb kid in class, but you can’t let that go. I remember you crying yourself to sleep because you felt stupid. And when you confessed your fears to our wonderful, caring Grandfather, he told you not to worry yourself. That you were so pretty some nice man would always be around to take care of you. Which Todd did and you hated.”
Francesca wanted to run away. Why was Brenna turning on her? What was going on?
“This is all old information, and it doesn’t have anything to do with Sam.”
“It has everything to do with Sam. You got scared, Francesca, and I don’t blame you. For so long you were afraid you couldn’t measure up. Todd acted as if you had the mental acuity of a stamp. He wanted you to shut up and look pretty, which you did. But you weren’t allowed to be a person. You’ve spent the last six years becoming your own person. Of course you’re afraid of being with a man again. All your life you’ve been told that only the men matter. That we have to take care of them. If you get involved with Sam, you risk losing yourself.”
“I’m not involved, and I haven’t lost myself.”
“You’re not going to lose yourself,” Brenna told her, obviously annoyed. “That’s my damn point. You’re not that insecure teenager anymore. You’re a successful woman. You’re confident and capable, and it’s okay to admit you care about Sam.”
“I don’t care!” Francesca yelled. “I’m not involved! I’m just pregnant!”
A sharp intake of air made them both turn. Francesca nearly fainted when she saw her grandfather standing not five feet away from them. She and Brenna had been so busy arguing, they hadn’t heard him approach.
Panic flared, and with it a sense of her life spinning out of control. Just when she’d decided it couldn’t get any worse, she was fighting with her sister and had just spilled her secret to the person least likely to keep it quiet.
“Don’t say a word,” she told her grandfather. “You didn’t hear that.”
The old man wasn’t the least bit impressed with her instructions.
“Is it Sam? That young man who was over at the party?”
She couldn’t lie and she didn’t want to tell the truth. “Grandpa, this is my problem and I’ll deal with it.”
His gaze narrowed. “Men who get women pregnant have a responsibility.”
“No. You’re not talking to Sam. I mean it. You’re not to say anything. I’ll handle this.”
“He should marry you.”
“No, he shouldn’t. And he doesn’t know about the baby yet, so don’t you even think about telling him. Grandpa, you can’t!”
It was like bargaining with the weather. No matter how much energy she put into the process, she had absolutely no control over the outcome.
He didn’t say anything. Instead he looked from her to Brenna, then turned and started for the winery.
Francesca folded her arms over her midsection. “This is bad. This is really, really bad.”
