The Sheik And The Christmas Bride

Chapter Four

After the king left and dinner was finished, Kayleen sent the girls back to their suite while she lingered behind to speak with As’ad.

“There are just a couple of things I need to discuss with you,” she told him when they were alone.

“I’m learning that with you, there always are.”

She wasn’t sure what he meant by that, so decided to ignore the comment. “It’s only about six weeks until Christmas,” she said. “We have to start planning. I don’t know what happens here at the palace, but this is the girls’ first Christmas without either of their parents. We have to do something.”

He studied her for a long time. “El Deharia is a very open country. All faiths are celebrated here. No one will object if you wish to set up a tree in your suite.”

“It’s more than that,” she said, telling herself there was no reason to be afraid, even though As’ad was much taller than her and having to look up to meet his gaze gave her a crick in her neck. “You need to participate.”

He looked shocked. “I do not.”

She’d had a feeling he would be difficult.

“You’ve always had family,” she pointed out. “Your brothers, your aunt, your father. These girls have no one. The holidays are going to be sad and scary and they’re going to feel so alone.”

Kayleen spoke from experience. She still remembered waking up on Christmas morning and feeling an ache in her chest. No matter how many presents had been donated to the orphanage, no matter how the nuns tried, there hadn’t been family.

She hadn’t even had the dream that a wonderful couple would find her and want to adopt her. She had plenty of relatives-just no one who wanted her.

“They need traditions, both old and new,” she continued. “They need to feel welcome and loved.”

His expression tightened. “Then you will take care of that.”

“But you’re their father now.”

“I am someone who agreed to let them live here. Kayleen, these girls are your responsibility, not mine. Do not cross this line with me.”

“I don’t understand. You were so great with them at dinner. Are you telling me that was just an act? That you don’t care?”

“I have compassion. I have honor. That will be enough.”

Was he kidding? “That’s not enough. It will never be enough. We’re talking about children, As’ad. Lost, lonely children. They deserve more. They deserve to be loved.” She wasn’t just talking about the children-she was talking about herself. The difference was she’d already given up her dreams.

“Then they will have to find that love in you.”

She took a step back. Her throat tightened and her cheeks were hot. “You’re saying you don’t plan to love them?”

He might as well have said he was going to kill them in their sleep!

“I will honor my responsibilities. In doing so, it is necessary for me to be strong. Emotion is weakness. You are a woman-I don’t expect you to understand. Just trust me, it is so. I will see to the girls’ needs. You can take care of their hearts.”

She didn’t know what to say or where to begin to argue with him. “That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard,” she told him. “Love isn’t weakness. It’s strength and power. The ability to give means you can be more, not less.”

He actually smiled at her. “Your passion is a testament to your caring. That’s excellent.”

“So it’s okay for me to have emotions, but not you? Because you’re a man?”

“More than a man,” he reminded her. “A prince. I have responsibilities for others. It is my duty to stay strong, to not be swayed by something as changeable as feelings.”

“Without compassion, there can be no judgment,” she snapped. “Without feelings, you’re only a machine. A good ruler feels for his people.”

“You cannot understand.”

“And you can’t mean this.”

“I assure you, I do.” He took her arm and walked her to the door. “Celebrate Christmas however you wish. You have my permission.”

“Can I have your head on a stick instead?” she muttered as she jerked free and walked out into the hallway.

Of all the stupid, annoying things she’d ever heard. He wasn’t going to feel anything because he was a prince? But it was okay for her because she was a woman?

“No way,” she told herself as she headed back to her own rooms. “Something is going to change around here and it isn’t going to be me.”

“It’s so egotistical,” Kayleen ranted the next morning as she paced the length of her living room. “So two hundred years ago. He gets to be in charge because he’s a man? What does that make the rest of us? Chattel? I’m so angry, I want to throw him in the dungeon until he begs. I’m smart. I’m capable. And I have a heart. Why can’t he see that emotions give us depth? They define us. Are all men so stupid? I have to tell you, Lina, the more I see of the world, the more I long for the convent.”

Her friend smiled at her. “Is it possible your energy and intensity on this topic is one of the reasons you weren’t called to serve in that way?”

“That’s what I was always told when I was growing up. I was too passionate about things. Too willing to go my own way. It’s just when I see an injustice, I can’t stop to think. I act.”

“As you did with Tahir.”

Kayleen remembered the tall chieftain who had wanted to take the girls. “Exactly.”

“Life does not always move on your timetable,” Lina said. “You need to be patient.”

“Don’t act impulsively,” Kayleen said, knowing she’d heard the same advice a thousand times before.

“Exactly.” Lina patted the seat next to her. “As’ad is a product of his world. His father taught all his sons to avoid emotion. To think logically. While my brother grieved after his wife died, he chose not to show that to the boys. In front of them, he went on, as if unmoved by her passing. In my opinion it was the wrong lesson.”

Kayleen agreed. “Because of that, As’ad won’t care?” She didn’t wait for an answer. “He’s not stupid. Why can’t he see the truth all around him?”

“He has been trained for a specific purpose. His is a life of service, in a way, but with ultimate power and ego. You haven’t met his brothers, but they are all like him. Strong, determined men who see little virtue in love. It’s probably why none of them have married.”

“But love is strength and a great gift,” Kayleen said as she sat on the sofa. “He has to love the girls. They need that. They deserve it. He would be better because of it. Happier. Besides, there’s a ticking clock here.”

Lina frowned. “You’re still leaving?”

“I can go back on my twenty-fifth birthday. That’s less than four months away.”

“But you have the girls now.”

“I know.” Kayleen hadn’t worked that part out. “They’ll get settled and then As’ad can bring in someone else.”

She spoke bravely, but the words sounded a little feeble, even to her.

“I’m surprised,” Lina admitted. “When you asked As’ad to adopt the girls, I thought you were taking on the responsibility with him. This isn’t like you, Kayleen. To retreat from the world.”

“The world isn’t always a fun place. I want to go back to where I belong.” Where she’d grown up. It was the only home she’d ever known. “I can teach there.” That was the deal. She had to stay away until she was twenty- five. Then she could return to the convent school forever.

“You can be a mother here.”

“Not really. It’s just a game. When the girls are older, As’ad will have no use for me. Besides, if he doesn’t want to get involved, maybe I can take them with me.”

“I assume my nephew doesn’t know about your plan to leave.”

“I haven’t mentioned it.”