unsettling. I would pay child support and stay away. It was an easy way out. It was what I wanted.”
He glanced at her. “I wasn’t there when she was born. I didn’t want to know. I don’t know what Jed has going on about Garth, but it wasn’t that way for me.”
She believed him. He hadn’t wanted a child at all. “Are you sure you want to get married and start a family now?” she asked.
“It’s time.”
“You mean like it’s time to start putting money in a 401K?”
“Something like that.”
“Not exactly a great reason to get married.”
“It’s as good as any,” he said.
No, it wasn’t. What about being in love? What about wanting to spend the rest of his life with someone? What about wanting to share every part of himself, down to his soul, down to his DNA?
Those were questions she wasn’t going to ask, mostly because she didn’t want to hear the answers. She remembered a friend’s mom once saying that when a guy shared something bad about himself, like he was never on time or he’d never been faithful to a girlfriend, that he was probably telling the truth and that a smart woman would listen.
Cruz was telling her the truth about himself now. She should pay attention. The problem was, it was too late for her. She’d already given her heart and didn’t know how to get it back.
LEXI WALKED INTO the pet store the next morning. She wasn’t sure what she hoped to find out, but this was a good place to start. She felt better taking some kind of action…even one that might not make sense.
The same teen was at the counter, placing an order. Lexi mouthed that she was going to walk around. The teen nodded. Lexi moved toward the back of the store and paused when she heard someone talking softly.
“Aren’t you a pretty boy. You know it, too, don’t you? Pretty, pretty. That’s right. You’re hungry. Don’t be scared. I’m here.”
She turned and saw Kathy gently touching a small bird perched on her index finger. The bird looked like a parrot and was a vivid color of green. Lexi walked slowly, careful not to make any sudden or loud noises.
“Hi,” she whispered.
Kathy saw her and smiled. “Hello. You’re back. This is Max. Someone bought him as a pet, but can’t keep him, so he’s here. Poor Max. It’s hard not to be wanted, isn’t it?”
The bird seemed to be staring at Kathy. It fluttered its wings, but didn’t shift away.
“You’re going to be safe here with me,” Kathy continued. “I’ll find you the right home. You’ll see. It may take a while. Bird people are special, just like you. We have to wait until we find where you belong.”
The bird continued to stare at her. Lexi would swear it actually nodded, which was impossible. But its head seemed to bob slightly. That or she was really going to have to cut back on her morning lattes.
Kathy slipped the bird into its cage and shut the door. “How are you doing with your kitten?”
“Great. C.C. is growing every day. He’s into everything. I wasn’t sure about him. I’d never thought about getting a cat. But he’s…” Lexi couldn’t figure out how to explain the place C.C. filled in her heart. “He’s good to have around,” she finished.
“I know,” Kathy told her. “That makes me happy. C.C. will be good for you. He’ll keep you company and love you, no matter what. Isn’t that the best?”
“It is.” She hesitated, not sure how to bring up Garth. Kathy was warm and friendly, but there was something slightly off about her. Would talking about Garth upset her?
“I think I know someone you know,” she said, hesitantly. “Garth Duncan?”
Kathy’s whole face lit up. “Garth? You know Garth? I do, too. I love him. He’s wonderful. Don’t you think he’s wonderful? He bought me this store. He says I can work here as long as I want.”
“He is very nice,” Lexi lied. “How do you know him?”
Kathy reached for a broom and began to sweep the floor. “He used to be my son.” She frowned. “Something happened and I’m not sure what. It was a long time ago.” She touched her head. “I have a scar. It doesn’t hurt. But sometimes I’m not sure…”
“We don’t have to talk about it,” Lexi said, knowing she would never be a very good spy. Just as well she’d gone into the day spa business.
“Did Garth say something about me?” Kathy asked eagerly. “He likes me. He’s very nice.”
“Do you know when you changed?” Lexi asked, ignoring the knot in her stomach. “When you got your scar?”
Kathy shook her head. “It was a long time ago,” she repeated. “It was…It was before. Now it’s after.”
“You have a lovely store,” Lexi told her.
Kathy beamed. “I know. I love working here. Sometimes Garth comes by to see me.”
Lexi made a mental note of the information, not sure if it would help or not. “I need to get back to work,” she said. “I just wanted to stop by and thank you for C.C.”
“You’ll be happy with your cat,” Kathy said. “Garth calls me. Do you want me to tell him anything?”
“No, thank you.”
“Okay.”
Kathy returned to sweeping the floor. Lexi walked out and headed for her car.
What had happened to Kathy Duncan? Obviously it had been after Garth had been born. In her current condition, Jed would never have been interested in her. Besides, the state might have had a problem with Kathy as a mother.
So when had she changed? And why? Worst of all, did Jed have anything to do with it?
As Lexi walked to her car, she realized she didn’t want to hear the answer to the last question.
LATER THAT AFTERNOON, Lexi drove home. She normally worked later, but she was bone tired and couldn’t say why. She’d been sleeping, maybe more than ever. She just couldn’t seem to shake her lethargy.
It was probably the stress, she thought as she stopped at a red light. Too much going on in her life. Too many confusing questions. Not to mention a constant minor stomach upset. It came in waves and while she never actually threw up, she felt like she was going to. It was almost as if-
The light turned green. Lexi accelerated automatically, but her mind wasn’t on her driving. Two blocks later she pulled into a drugstore parking lot.
Thoughts chased each other, moving so fast it was impossible to catch just one. But there was no escaping the feeling of dread.
When she’d first moved in with Cruz, she’d gone off her birth control pills so she would get her period and have an excuse not to sleep with him. She’d gone back on the birth control, but what about those days before the pills kicked in? What about the first time they’d made love…and the second?
She gripped the steering wheel so tightly her muscles cramped but she didn’t let go. She couldn’t be pregnant. Not now. Not with Cruz. He didn’t want children-she wasn’t sure he wanted to be married at all. He believed that caring made him weak.
Okay, she was in love with him, but so what? That didn’t make him any better at relationships or a safer bet. He was absolutely the last person she needed to be involved with, and having a child would mean being involved forever. She would be tied to a man who was only using her to gain a place in society. He’d already abandoned one child. She couldn’t be having his baby.
She went into the drugstore and bought three different pregnancy tests. The female clerk gave her a sympathetic smile, then called out, “Good luck,” as she left.
Thirty minutes later she stood in the master bath of her condo-the only place she could think to go where no one would find her. She stared at the various plastic sticks, all giving the same message in different ways.
She was pregnant.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
JEANNIE WAS A BEAUTIFUL woman in her midthirties, with perfect skin and long blond hair. If they’d been the same age, Lexi would have considered her the ideal and herself a
