I feel like I can then put the past behind me and get on with my life.”
“Good for you.” He hesitated. “You know I’m always here for you, kid, right?”
She smiled. “Yes. I know. And I love you, too, A.J. Now shut off your computer and go do something fun. Promise?”
“I’ll do my best. Talk to you soon.
“Okay. Bye.”
She hung up the phone and sat alone in the silence. But the quiet didn’t seem quite so unfriendly now. She knew that if she needed to talk to A.J. again, he would make time for her, as would the rest of her family. Especially Dallas.
The thought of her stepsister made her smile. Josie and Suzanne might have had some troubles in their relationship, but it hadn’t been like that with Josie and Dallas. They were three years apart in age, but they’d always gotten along. When Josie had left Del, Dallas had been looking for a roommate as she studied at UCLA. They’d gotten an apartment together, and Josie had picked up the pieces of her life. The summer after the accident, Dallas had been her constant companion, seeing her through the first several surgeries. Like Aaron, Dallas had urged her to never give up.
And she hadn’t. Because of her refusal to quit, she used a cane instead of a wheelchair. In time, with another surgery, she would be strong enough to walk on her own. She’d done what had to be done, regardless of the cost to her in pain and effort. She’d-
Josie sat up suddenly and blinked in the rapidly darkening room. She hadn’t been a quitter after the accident, but what about before? She and Del had fought for a long time, but ultimately she’d been the one to walk away from the marriage. Why had she given up on the two of them?
She rubbed her temple as she thought about the past. She’d been so awful to Del-always pushing back, never compromising. She’d never cared about his work or wanted to talk about it. She’d never noticed what a good, kind man he was. Now, three years too late, she realized that she genuinely liked being around him. He made her laugh.
She shook her head in an effort to get him out of her brain. Thinking about him like that wasn’t constructive. But as she turned, she caught sight of the stairs and couldn’t help remembering him carrying her up them a few days before. She’d loved being so physically close to him. He’d been so familiar and she’d felt welcomed back. Her body had responded with a hunger that had shocked her. As if she’d been waiting for him all this time.
“Crazy,” she murmured aloud. She and Del might be able to find a friendship out of the ashes of their past, but they couldn’t be any more than that. A physical relationship was impossible. She was too different from how she’d been before. Too…wrong.
Her lack of physical activity had meant that she’d put on weight. She wasn’t fat, but she sure wasn’t as toned and lean as she had been. The entire shape of her body had changed. Plus there were all those scars.
Unable to stop herself-even though she knew it was a mistake-Josie rose and walked into the small powder room just off the foyer. The toilet and sink were missing, but there was still an oval mirror hanging on the dark- papered wall. She stared at herself, at the stranger’s face looking back at her.
Her last facial surgery had been six months before. Nearly all the swelling was gone and the scars had faded as the doctor had promised. She looked completely normal, yet completely different. After twenty-seven years of being one person, now she was someone else. At least on the outside.
But what about on the inside? How much of her was the same and how much was different? The questions made her uncomfortable. She turned to leave and stumbled over a bit of uneven flooring. Without her cane she would have fallen. As it was, she could barely keep her balance.
Frustration filled her. There had been a time when she’d been able to run and jump and test her body. She’d moved with a natural grace she’d always taken for granted. She would never be that other woman again. That part of her had been destroyed in less than a heartbeat.
Pain filled her. Not the physical kind, but an ache of the soul. She wanted to turn back time. She wanted to be her old self. She wanted a normal body. She-
A knock on the door surprised her. She turned toward the sound, then began to walk in that direction. When she reached the foyer, she flipped on the porch light and opened the door. Del stood on her porch, looking slightly sheepish and holding out two bags labeled with the name of a local Chinese restaurant.
“If I’m interrupting a hot date, I’ll leave,” he said. “Otherwise, I thought you might like some company. And if you just want the food, that’s fine, too.”
Her sadness fled as if it had never been. She felt herself grinning at him. “My hot date passed out when I showed him my wallpaper selections. So I would welcome your company.” She pushed the door open wider. “Come on in.”
Chapter Five
Josie hoped that her extreme pleasure at seeing Del didn’t show. If he knew how hard her heart was pounding and that she couldn’t think of a single intelligent thing to say, he would wonder if she ever got out these days and if there was something wrong with her.
“I hope you like Chinese,” he said as he walked into the main room, turning on lights as he went. “I decided on half orders of several different entrees so we’d have a choice.”
“Sounds great. Chinese is one of my favorites.”
She trailed after him, her uneven gait much slower than his. By the time she reached the sofa, he’d already pulled up the rickety folding table and set the bags on top of it. From one he pulled several small cartons of steaming food. The delicious smell made her mouth water and her stomach growl. From the other bag he drew out thick paper plates, plastic utensils and two bottles of beer.
He tapped the latter on their caps. “There’s soda in the refrigerator if you’d prefer that.”
She smiled. “No. Beer is great.”
She and Del might have fought about nearly everything, but Chinese food dishes and imported beer hadn’t ever been a problem. On that they’d agreed perfectly.
He motioned to the sheet-covered sofa. “If the lady would be so kind as to take a seat, the gentleman will serve the meal.”
His elegant speech and deep bow were at odds with his red flannel shirt and worn jeans. Josie couldn’t help a small smile of contentment as she settled on the sofa and set her cane on the floor. Del moved the table close, then unfastened the cap on the bottles and set one in front of her.
He’d thought of everything, even napkins and cheap wood chopsticks.
“I’m too hungry to mess with those,” she said when he offered her a pair. “I’ll use a fork, thank you very much.”
“As the lady wishes.” He opened the cartons and displayed their contents. “Egg rolls and paper wrapped chicken. Kung pao chicken, orange-flavored beef, sweet and sour pork, shrimp with lobster sauce, fried rice and steamed rice. What would you like?”
Everything looked tempting. Josie hesitated only a second before pointing to the orange-flavored beef and the shrimp with lobster sauce. “I’ll start with those, along with steamed rice. But you don’t have to serve me. I can do it.”
“I’m showing off,” he said, scooping the food onto a paper plate. “You’re responsible for your own seconds.”
After he handed her a full plate, he sat next to her on the sofa and served himself. Then he held up his beer bottle. “To old houses and new friends.”
She picked up her drink and clinked it against his. “Thanks, Del.”
“You’re welcome. Now eat.”
She did as he requested, taking a sip of the beer before diving into the Chinese food. Her heart was still line dancing inside her chest, and her nerves felt a little quivery having him so close. She couldn’t believe he’d stopped by with dinner. His kindness made her happy and apprehensive at the same time. She got the impression that he liked her. Except the woman he liked-Rose-wasn’t who he thought. He was going to be angry when he found out
