until I retire.'
She looked at him for a long time before asking her next question. 'How do you keep going?'
'I don't know.'
'Don't you ever run out of steam?'
'Sometimes. Why do you ask?'
'I'm thinking of what I said in the canteen earlier. I told you I'd had a bad summer and that's true. My husband and I are having problems. He's never at home. It can take us a week to get back to normal after his trips, and then he just has to leave again. This summer we started talking about a separation. That's never an easy thing, especially when you have children.'
'I know,' Wallander said.
'At the same time I've started questioning my work. I read in the paper that some of our colleagues in Malmo were arrested for racketeering. I turn on the television and learn that senior members of the force are involved in the world of organised crime. I see all this and I realise it's happening more and more. Eventually it leads me to wonder what I'm doing. Or, to put it another way, I wonder how I'm going to last another 30 years.'
'It's all coming apart at the seams,' Wallander agreed. 'It's been going on for a long time. Corruption in the justice system is nothing new and there have always been police officers willing to cross the line. It's worse now, of course, and that's why it's even more important that people like you keep going.'
'What about you?'
'That applies to me too.'
'But how do you do it?'
Her questions were full of anger. He recognised a part of himself in her. How many times had he sat staring into his own desk, unable to find a reason to continue?
'I try to tell myself that things would be even worse without me,' he said. 'It's a consolation at times. A small one, but if I can't think of any other I take it.'
She shook her head. 'What's happening to our country?'
Wallander waited for her to continue, but she didn't. A truck rattled past on the street outside.
'Do you remember that violent attack last spring?' Wallander asked.
'The one in Svarte?'
'Two boys, both 14 years old, attack a third boy who is only 12. There's no provocation, no reason behind it. When he's lying there unconscious they start stomping on his chest. Finally he's not just unconscious, he's dead. I don't think it ever hit me so clearly before. People have always had fights, but they would stop when the other person was down. You can call it what you like. Fair play. Something you take for granted. But that's not the way it is any more, because these boys never learned it. It's as if a whole generation has been abandoned by their parents. Or as if not caring has become the norm. You have to rethink what it means to be a police officer because the parameters have changed. The experience you've acquired after years and years of grinding work doesn't apply any more.'
He stopped. They heard voices from the corridor. Some of the officers on night duty were talking about a drunk driver. Then everything went quiet again.
'How have you been these past few years?' he asked her.
'You mean since I was shot?'
He nodded.
'I dream about it,' she said. 'I dream that I die or that the bullet hits me in the head. I think that's almost worse.'
'It's easy to lose your nerve,' Wallander said.
She got up. 'The day I get seriously scared I'll quit,' she said. 'But I'm not quite there yet. Thanks for stopping by. I'm used to dealing with my problems on my own, but tonight I needed someone to talk to.'
'It takes some strength to admit that.'
She put her coat on and smiled her pale smile. Wallander wondered how well she was sleeping, but he didn't ask her.
'Can we talk about the car smugglers tomorrow?' she asked.
'How about in the afternoon? Don't forget we have to talk about these young people in the morning.'
She looked at him closely.
'Are you really worried?'
'Eva Hillstrom is, and I can't disregard that.'
They walked out together. She rejected his offer of a ride home.
'I need to walk,' she said. 'And it's so warm. What an August it's been!'
'We're in the dog days,' he said. 'Whatever that saying means.'
They said goodbye. Wallander drove home. He drank a cup of tea and leafed through the Ystad daily paper, then went to bed. He left the window slightly open since it was so warm, and fell asleep at once.
A violent pain woke him up with a start. His left calf muscle was locked in a spasm. He lowered his leg onto the floor and flexed it. The pain disappeared. He lay down again carefully, afraid that the cramp would return. The alarm clock on the bedside table read 1.30 a.m. He had been dreaming about his father again, in a disjointed way. They walked around the streets of a city that Wallander didn't recognise. They were looking for someone. Who, he never found out.
The curtain in front of the window moved slowly. He thought about Linda's mother, Mona. He had been married to her for a long time. Now she was living a new life with another man who played golf and probably did not have elevated blood-sugar levels.
His thoughts kept wandering. All at once he saw himself walking along Skagen's endless beaches with Baiba. Then she was gone.
Suddenly he was wide awake. He sat up in bed. He didn't know where the thought came from; it simply appeared among the others and fought its way to the front: Svedberg.
The fact that he hadn't called in sick didn't make sense. Not only was he never sick, if something had happened he would have let them know. He should have thought of it before. If Svedberg hadn't been in contact, it could only mean one thing: something was preventing him from communicating with them.
Wallander felt himself getting worried. Of course it was just his imagination. After all, what could have happened to Svedberg? But the feeling of unease was strong. Wallander looked at the clock again, then went out into the kitchen, searched for Svedberg's number, and dialled it. After a few rings the machine picked up. Wallander hung up. Now he was sure that something was wrong. He put on his clothes and went down to the car. The wind had picked up but it was still warm. It took him only a few minutes to drive to the main square. He parked the car and walked towards Lilla Norregatan where Svedberg lived. The lights were on inside his flat. Wallander felt relieved, but only for a few seconds. Then the worry returned even more strongly. Why didn't Svedberg pick up the phone if he was at home? Wallander tried the door to the building. It was locked. He didn't know the security code, but the crack between the front doors was wide enough. Wallander took out a pocketknife and looked around. Then he slipped the thickest blade between the doors and pushed. They opened.
Svedberg lived on the fourth floor. Wallander was out of breath by the time he made it up the stairs. He pressed his ear against the door but heard nothing. Then he opened the letter slot. Nothing. He rang the bell, the sound echoing inside the flat. He rang three times, then pounded on the door. Still nothing.
Wallander tried to gather his thoughts. He felt a strong urge not to be alone. He groped for his mobile phone but realised it was still on the kitchen table at home. He went down the stairs and pushed a small stone between the two front doors. Then he hurried out to one of the telephone booths on the main square, and dialled Martinsson's number.
'I'm sorry to have to wake you up,' Wallander said when Martinsson answered, 'but I need your help.'
'What is it?'
'Did you ever get hold of Svedberg?'
'No.'
'Then something must have happened.'
Martinsson didn't reply, but Wallander sensed that he was now fully awake.
'I'm waiting for you outside his block of flats on Lilla Norregatan,' Wallander said.
