There was another reason she loved the Mexican place. She loved it because it was their place. Here she didn’t have to share Calvin with anyone else. Here, and really only here, nothing else mattered.
The front door flew open and a mound of hairy blue thing with a face like a buffalo entered. A pair of giant black mantises hung on each of its arms.
“There goes the neighborhood,” said Sharon.
The buffalo crept up to the employee in charge of seating, promptly devoured her in one bite, and lurched to a table. There was a couple already seated there, but they were all too happy to concede their table and meal to the creatures.
The buffalo slurped down the enchiladas while the bugs sniffed the beers. They chirped, chewing on the tablecloth and licking the wax from the candles.
“Should we go somewhere else?” she asked.
“You haven’t even gotten your food yet,” he replied.
“It’s not that important.”
The waiter tried to take the buffalo’s order and was set upon by the bugs for his trouble.
“That’s it.” Calvin pushed away from the table.
“It’s okay,” she said. “You don’t have to do that.”
“Yes, I do.”
“But—”
But he was already away.
“Excuse me.”
The buffalo and bugs ignored him.
“I said, excuse me.”
The bugs stopped tormenting the waiter and raised their heads. The buffalo snorted.
“People are trying to eat here,” said Calvin.
The buffalo rose to its full height and howled at Calvin, spraying a healthy dose of phosphorescent drool across his face. The bugs chortled.
“I’m trying to be nice about this, but there is no call for this behavior. Everyone’s just trying to have a pleasant evening, and you’re ruining it for everyone.”
The rude beast howled and shook its head, splattering copious amounts of drool throughout the room.
“Have it your way.”
Calvin raised a hand and smacked the buffalo across the nose. The air cracked with thunder. The monster fell on one knee. Calvin grabbed it by the ear and yanked it to its feet. The buffalo squawked and roared, but Calvin pulled it helplessly toward the front door.
“And spit it out,”he said.
The buffalo spit up the seating girl, whole and unharmed though covered in slime.
“Thank you,” she said.
“Don’t mention it.”
Calvin tossed the beast out the front door. He helped the seating girl up, then turned on the bugs.
“You should probably leave now.”
They scampered out the door. One tried to take the waiter to go, but a word from Calvin helped it change its mind.
“And don’t come back unless you’re willing to behave,” shouted Calvin before returning to his table.
“Thanks,” Sharon said.
“No problem.” He reached across the table and used his napkin to wipe away a smudge of glowing buffalo drool from her chin. “I know how much you love this place.”
They shared a smile.
Their meal was on the house.
CHAPTER FIVE
Diana sold coats. Or, to be more honest, she stood around in the coat section of a department store and waited for people to come around and pick out coats. Buying coats was one of those shopping experiences in which a clerk served about the same purpose as a mannequin. Only instead of wearing the coat, she told people how good they looked in their potential new wardrobe additions.
She didn’t lie. If someone looked genuinely bad in a coat, she usually told them this (in a gentle, soft-sell fashion). But it was hard to look bad in a coat, and it really wasn’t hard to pick out one that you liked that looked fine on your body type. Although there was one dreadful red-and-orange eyesore that had been in the coat department since long before her and would probably still be there, waiting, long after she was gone.
As jobs went, it wasn’t horrible. She’d had worse. She’d had better. She wasn’t planning on making a career out of it, but it paid the bills for the time being. The only bad thing about it was that it could be dull and, when she was in the wrong frame of mind, a single shift could last thirty or forty hours.
Today felt like it would be one of those days.
After being trapped for four days and change in her apartment, she wasn’t ready to be trapped in a bigger room. She also didn’t feel like calling in sick because that would inevitably lead to questions. Where had she been? Why hadn’t she called in? And so on.
It would almost be easier to go in to work and pretend she hadn’t even missed. Except that even if she was willing to pretend, no one else would be. The same questions would still be waiting.
She supposed she could have just skipped today and not called, but that wasn’t the way she was hardwired. It was against her character to miss work four days in a row without letting someone know.
A glance at the clock confirmed she had two minutes before having to get up and get ready. She lay in bed and wished there were a way to miss and not call in and avoid the various hassles awaiting her on each and every path before her.
The phone rang in the other room. She was slow to answer it because she had to move the dresser blocking her door. The door didn’t have a lock, and she didn’t trust Vom to stay in control of his appetites while she slept. By the time she moved the dresser out of the way he had already answered the phone.
“Hello. Yes, yes. Oh really?” He listened, making generic
He hung up.
“There was a fire at the store,” he said.
“Oh my… was anyone hurt?”
Vom shrugged. “Didn’t say. Just said you don’t have to bother coming in today.”
She leaned against the wall and absorbed the news. On the bright side, her work problem was solved.
“Wait. I just moved in, and I haven’t talked to anyone yet. How did they get this number? Even I don’t know it yet.”
Vom shrugged again, but she could tell he was holding out on her. Even though he didn’t have any eyes, his mouths pursed suspiciously. She could feel he was lying to her. Probably part of that psychic bond they shared.
He withered beneath her glare.
“You’d probably call it magic. Or sorcery. Or wizardry. Or
“Okay, so now you’re telling me I have magical powers.”
“It’s just a side effect of straddling multiple floors of reality. Any intelligent being can do it, provided they have the will and desire. Also, you need a conduit to gather the appropriate metaphysical charge and—”
“Stop.”
