The black surface of the river glinted in the dark. A train crossed a bridge at a distance, and a band of light trailed across the water.
“That makes me sad,” Emiko said.
“What does?” The tip of Sekigawa’s cigarette glowed as he inhaled.
“Well, that you’re so concerned. I feel like I’m becoming a burden to you.”
They could hear someone whistling across the river in the darkness.
“You still don’t understand?” Sekigawa said, putting his hands on her shoulders. “It’s a crucial time for me right now. If my relationship with you is discovered now, people will say all kinds of terrible things about me. I have a lot of enemies because my job is to criticize people. If they found out about you, they’d be merciless.”
“It’s because I’m a bar hostess, isn’t it? If I were the daughter of a prominent family like Waga-
“I’m not Waga,” Sekigawa said, suddenly angry. “Waga is an opportunist. I’m not like that. I don’t say new and radical things and then behave in old and opportunistic ways. It doesn’t matter at all to me that you work in a bar.”
“Then…” Emiko said hesitantly. “Then, why are you so concerned about others finding out? I would like to be able to walk with you anywhere.”
“Why can’t you understand?” Sekigawa clenched his teeth. “You know the position I’m in.”
“Of course, I know. I know that your work is different from the usual occupation. I really respect that. That’s why I feel happy that you love me. I’d like to brag about you to all my friends if I could. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone about us. But that’s how I feel. I do understand, but it still makes me sad sometimes. Like this problem,” she continued. “You told me I had to move right away because that student saw you. I feel I’m always going to be your hidden woman.”
“Emiko.” Sekigawa turned toward her. “I understand how you feel, but I want you to see it from my perspective. Until the right time, I have to ask you to make this sacrifice for me. It’s an important time for me right now. I’m just starting to make a name for myself. All my efforts up until now and all my hopes for the future could be destroyed by rumors. I don’t want to lose out to any of my friends. My world is like that. It’s a world where scandal can ruin you. Please be patient.”
Sekigawa took her by the shoulders and turned her toward him.
Murayama, an arts section editor of a newspaper, was walking alone at night down the back streets of Ginza. Many people were still on the streets. He had just left a bar and, as he walked toward some brightly lit store display windows, he passed a young woman walking on the sidewalk. The light from a display window shone in bands illuminating her profile. He thought he had seen her somewhere before.
He wondered if he had seen her in a bar. He kept walking toward central Ginza. He went into a bookstore and looked at the new releases. He wandered farther back into the shop, scanning the shelves aimlessly. His attention was caught by a book entitled
He had seen her not long before, on a train on his way back from Omachi in the Shinshu region. The second- class car had been rather empty. The girl had gotten on at Kofu and taken a seat next to the window facing him but across the aisle. She had a pretty face. Although she wasn’t wearing expensive clothes, she wore her clothes with flair. He had gone to Omachi to report on the construction of the Kurobe Valley dam, so it must have been May 18 or May 19. It was a night train, and though it was not hot in the compartment she had opened her window half way as soon as they pulled out of Kofu. But if that were all, he might not have remembered her.
He was startled out of this recollection when he felt someone tapping him on the shoulder.
“Murayama.”
He turned around and saw Kawano, a university professor who also wrote for magazines.
“What were you thinking about? You looked as if you were far, far away.” Professor Kawano smiled, wrinkling up his eyes behind his glasses.
Murayama bowed hurriedly.
“How about having a cup of coffee with me, since I haven’t seen you for a while?” The professor didn’t drink alcohol.
Sipping coffee in the brightly lit coffee shop, Professor Kawano asked, “What were you thinking about so seriously in the bookstore?”
“I wasn’t really thinking. I was trying to remember something,” Murayama said. “I’d just passed a girl on the street that I had seen somewhere on a trip.”
“That sounds intriguing,” the professor responded. “Was it a travel romance?”
“No, that wasn’t it at all. It really isn’t that interesting.”
“I’d like to hear about it even if it isn’t interesting. Go on, tell me about it.” The professor’s slightly bucked teeth showed as he smiled and urged Murayama to continue.
Murayarna said he had been bored with the long train ride that evening. Perhaps it was because he was bored that his attention had been drawn to the young woman who had gotten on at Kofu. Besides her handbag she carried another small canvas bag, like the ones stewardesses use.
After leaving Kofu, the train ran through a lonely mountainous area. At first the girl read a paperback book. Then, when the train passed Enzan, she opened the window wide. He noticed this because it had let in a cold draft.
The girl stared out of the window. Because it was dark, she couldn’t have been looking at the scenery. Other than the occasional lonely light from a distant house, there was nothing but a succession of black mountains. He thought that perhaps she hadn’t ridden this train very often. Since she had gotten on at Kofu, he guessed first that she was from Kofu, traveling to Tokyo on a pleasure trip. But her clothing seemed too sophisticated. She had on an ordinary black suit, but she wore it stylishly. She had to be from Tokyo after all. From the side, her face was thin, and she had a slender figure.
Murayama had turned back to the book he had been reading. Before he could finish one page, the girl once again attracted his attention. She put the canvas bag on her lap and opened it, and then took something white out of it and began throwing it out the train window. The wind whipped in as the train rushed forward. The girl stuck her hand out the window and continued tossing something out. She did this all the way from Enzan to Katsunuma, the next station.
Then she went back to reading her book. But somewhere between Hajikano and Sasago, she put the book down and again started throwing away whatever it was she had in her bag. Murayama was curious. Pretending he was going to the rest room, he walked to the end of the car. He looked out from the back of the car and saw small, white pieces of paper being tossed by the wind, making a kind of blizzard. He thought she was fighting boredom by this innocent mischief and smiled at her childishness.
Murayama returned to his seat. He picked up his book and tried to continue reading, but the girl on the other side of the aisle kept distracting him. As the train neared Otsuki, she again put her hand in the bag and started scattering another paper blizzard.
The train reached Otsuki Station. Some new passengers entered the second-class car. Among them was a fat man about fifty years old who looked around the car. He finally sat down in front of this girl.
Casually, Murayama continued to watch the girl. She seemed a bit perplexed now that there was someone sitting in front of her. Yet she did not move to close the window. After the train had passed several small stations, she again began scattering small pieces of white paper out into the darkness. The man across from her grimaced because of the cold wind blowing on him from the window, but he just looked at the girl and said nothing.
Murayama resumed reading, and after a while saw that the girl had closed the window. She was now engrossed in her book. He noticed that the legs beneath the black skirt were lovely.
Thinking that they were finally nearing Tokyo, Murayama looked up, and saw that the man was talking to the girl. His attitude seemed a shade too amiable. It seemed that he was the one forcing the conversation, while she offered monosyllabic responses.
The two couldn’t have known each other. The man had boarded the train long after the young woman. He seemed to be chatting with her just to pass the time. But to Murayama it did not appear to be a case of casual conversation. The man was very insistent. He took out a pack of cigarettes, but she shook her head. Next he pulled out some chewing gum, but she wouldn’t take any gum either. The man took this refusal as mere politeness and pressed her again to have some gum. She finally gave in and took a piece, but didn’t unwrap it. The man became
