going to do what I want.”
“You can’t,” Sekigawa said. “What are you saying? Where’s your common sense? It was because you did as I said that nothing happened that time before. If we acted according to your selfish wishes, it would have been a tragedy.” Sekigawa let out his breath and continued, “It’s not something to be decided on the basis of temporary sentiment or excitement. You have to be more realistic. For one thing, think about the child that will be born. How unfortunate that child will be…”
“No,” she resisted strongly. “This time I’m going to have my way.”
There was something so determined in her voice that Sekigawa could not continue.
“Please, just this once listen to what I want,” she pleaded, despite the harsh expression on his face. “It’s the second time. The first time I did as you said. But now I know that it was wrong. No matter what happens, I’ll take responsibility.”
“Responsibility?” Sekigawa looked at Emiko in a displeased manner. “What are you saying?”
“I’ll raise the child all by myself.”
“Don’t be unreasonable,” he said in a disagreeable voice. “Do you think you should act out of such sentimentality? It will only lead to misfortune.”
“I don’t care. I don’t have to be happy. I’ll be content just having the proof of your love and raising the child.”
Sekigawa looked aside, exasperated. Then he swallowed the rest of his highball. The pieces of ice clinked against each other.
Emiko was looking downward sadly.
Sekigawa said, “I’ll never agree. I want you to do as I say. You’re just being silly. You haven’t even thought of what will happen in the future. If you do this, you’re the one who’ll regret it.”
“No, I never will,” Emiko said, looking stubborn. “That won’t happen. I intend to have it.”
Sekigawa adopted a placating tone. “Emiko, I can understand how you feel. But you can’t solve anything with love alone. What you think you want can turn out to have unexpected, opposite results.”
Emiko asked sadly, “Do you love me?”
“You know how I feel.”
“Then… then you shouldn’t say such things.” Her shoulders heaved up and down as she breathed and her face was pale. “You should agree to what I want.” Her low voice wavered as tears welled up in her eyes.
“Emiko.” Suddenly gentle, Sekigawa patted her shoulder. “Let’s go. Let’s go and talk this over as we think about it together.”
Emiko pressed her handkerchief to her eyes.
The area was absolutely silent with no people around. It was a quiet street even in the daytime. On either side stretched the long walls surrounding large houses. The street was a steep hill laid with cobblestones. Street lamps etched patterned shadows onto its surface.
Sekigawa stuck both of his hands deep into his coat pockets. Emiko was close at his side, her hand through his arm. Their two shadows moved slowly down the sloping street. Occasional taxi headlights passed, lighting up the couple.
“You say you can’t give it up?” Sekigawa was very displeased.
Emiko pressed her cheek against his shoulder. “I’m sorry.” Her apology did not hide the inner strength of her conviction. “This time I won’t change my mind.” Knowing that Sekigawa would be annoyed with her words, Emiko repeated, “I won’t ever cause any problems for you.” Her voice was full of entreaty.
“Problems?” Sekigawa walked facing straight ahead. “I’m not talking only about the problems it would cause me. I’m also thinking about you.”
The sloping street went downhill and then started to rise again. This area housed foreign embassies hidden behind trees.
“Are you really sure?” Sekigawa asked her.
Emiko was silent. Her silence told him that her mind was made up.
Sekigawa sighed in the darkness.
“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice quavering. “I’ll never mention your name.”
“I guess it can’t be helped,” Sekigawa said simply.
“What?” Emiko raised her head in surprise.
“I’m saying it can’t be helped.”
“What do you mean?”
“I guess I’ll have to go along with you.” Sekigawa said this as if he were speaking his thoughts out loud.
“Then you’ll forgive me for my selfishness?” Emiko breathed more freely, but she still curbed her happiness.
“I lose,” he spat out. “I’ve been defeated by your stubbornness.”
For the first time, Emiko squeezed his arm with all her might. She suddenly became lively.
“I’m glad.” She grabbed Sekigawa’s arm and swung it back and forth. “I’m so glad.”
She clung to him with her body. Then she buried her face in his chest. Her shoulders quivered.
“What are you doing? Are you crying?” Sekigawa put his hand on her obi and embraced her. The tone of his voice had softened.
She actually was crying softly. Her head, cheeks, and shoulders were shaking with her emotions. A sweet odor rose from the back of her white neck, which showed against her collar.
“I’m sorry,” Sekigawa said gently. “If you’re so determined, I won’t say any more. I’ll cooperate with you as much as I can.”
“Really?” she asked in a tearful voice.
“Yes, really. I was probably too harsh in the way I spoke to you.”
“No, you weren’t.” She shook her head vigorously. “I understand very well how you feel. That’s natural, I think. But, just this time, I want to protect my own life, actually the life that will pass on from you…” Emiko could not continue because she was so wrought up, and her lips quivered.
With a sudden motion, Sekigawa pulled her shoulders toward him and pressed his lips to hers. The tears flowing down her cheeks felt cold to him.
The tall trees trailed over the wall beside them. In the darkness of the shade of the trees, they stood embracing for a long time. Suddenly automobile headlights swept the figures of the couple. The two pulled apart and began walking.
“You don’t have to worry,” Sekigawa encouraged Emiko. “I’ll do all that I can. But in exchange,” he continued as he walked along, “could you do as I ask? You’ll have to quit the club right away.”
To Emiko, these words seemed an unexpected kindness.
“But I feel fine,” she responded cheerfully.
“No, now is the most important time. You don’t want to take any chances. What would you do if you became ill?”
“Well, yes.” Emiko took out her handkerchief and wiped her tears.
“You should tell the madam at the club tomorrow and quit. You can give as your reason something else and say that you want to stop working there.”
“Yes, I’ll do that.” Emiko’s step became brisk, a complete change from five minutes before.
“So, it’s all set. Now that it’s decided, it’ll work out,” Sekigawa said.
When Imanishi arrived home early for a change, he heard his sister’s voice in the back room.
“Welcome home,” his wife greeted him at the entrance. “Oyuki-
Imanishi took off his shoes without a word and stepped up into the house.
“Brother, I’ve come for a visit,” his sister greeted him.
“Right. Thanks for having me over the other day.”
He changed his clothes with his wife’s help.
“That’s what I’ve come about today.”
“What do you mean?”
“That bar hostess you were asking about, she suddenly moved out of her apartment.”
“What?” Imanishi stopped untying his necktie. “She’s moved? When was that?”
“It was yesterday afternoon.”
