‘Back then, I was a bright young man who was going places. I’ve always had a flair for invention. Most of the ideas go nowhere, but a few of them have turned out well. My first company was successful because I’d come up with a unique process for electroplating precision surgical instruments. I was doing well, and there were a couple of big companies prepared to pay a lot of money for my patent. I was pretty pleased with myself. I knew I was on the road to becoming rich and successful, which was quite something for a working-class lad from Sowerby Bridge.
‘I was walking out with your mother at the time. I was besotted with Vanessa. I’d never met a woman like her. She had star quality. She made every other lass in Halifax look colourless. I knew she was tough. Your grandmother was hard as nails and she’d brought Vanessa up in her own likeness. But when we got serious about each other, she seemed to soften. She was grand company. And she was beautiful.’ His voice was passionate now, rich and strong. Tony had seen enough of his mother’s charm with others to understand how she could have wrapped Arthur round her little finger.
‘When I asked her to marry me, there was part of me was convinced she’d turn me down flat. But she accepted. I was on cloud nine. We talked about a spring wedding and Vanessa suggested we make wills in each other’s favour. She was working in a solicitor’s office at the time, so she could get it done for free. And of course, she would have been giving up work when we got wed, so it made sense to do it while we could still get it for free.’ He gave a wry little chuckle. ‘You’ll be thinking I’m a typical Yorkshireman. Owt for nowt, eh? Well, the will might have come for free, but there’s other ways that it nearly cost me very dear indeed.
‘We did the wills, both leaving everything to each other. Round about this time, a company from Sheffield came after me. They wanted to buy the business outright, and my patent too. They were offering a lot of cash plus a lifetime royalty on the process. It would have been a good deal for a man who didn’t have ambitions to go a lot further. But I did. I had all sorts of dreams and hopes for the future and they included my business and my workforce. Vanessa thought I was crazy. She thought I should sell up and live high on the hog on the proceeds. “But what will we do when the money runs out?” I wanted to know. She said she knew me, I’d come up with some other clever idea and we’d do the same thing all over again. But I wasn’t convinced. I’d read about too many other inventors who never come up with a second idea that works.
‘Now, I reckon you probably know what your mother’s like when she gets an idea in her head. It’s like arguing with a steamroller. But I dug my heels in. It was my business and I wasn’t going to give in to her. I told myself I had to stand firm or I’d spend the whole of my life giving in to what she wanted. So there we were, stalemate. Or so I thought.
‘We were walking home one night through Savile Park. It was dark, it was late and there wasn’t another living soul in sight. Vanessa was on at me again about selling. I remember saying, “Over my dead body,” and the next thing I knew was this terrible searing pain in my chest. It was like everything went into slow motion. Vanessa was standing in front of me, and there was a knife in her hand, covered in blood. I looked down and my shirt front had a big red patch on it. I could feel myself falling and I swear I heard her say, “You said it, Eddie.”
‘The next thing I knew, I was in hospital, with the doctor saying it was a miracle I was alive. And there was Vanessa, holding my hand and smiling sweetly. I thought I was losing my mind. But when the doctor left us alone, she said, “I told the police we were mugged. If you try and tell them anything different, they’ll think you’re mad.”
‘I was supposed to die, you see. So she could have her way. But I didn’t die. I ran away. After I recovered, I sold up and cleared out. I spent a year studying metallurgy in Canada, then I came back and settled in Worcester. It seemed like a nice place and I knew nobody who had any connections there. I never took up with anybody else, not seriously. Vanessa spoiled me for anything like that. It’s hard to let yourself fall in love when the last person you loved tried to kill you.
‘I made a good life for myself, though. And then I found out about you. Once I knew about you, I kept a discreet eye on you. I’ve watched your career with pride. I know I can’t claim any of the credit, but I am proud of how you’ve turned out. I’d have liked to see you settled with a family of your own, but it’s not too late. I’m told you’re close to that detective you work with, Carol Jordan. If she’s the one, don’t let her go past you.
‘Anyway. I’ve said what I wanted to. And I’m still sorry that I was never a father to you. I hope you understand now, even if you don’t feel inclined to forgive me. And I hope you enjoy spending the money I’ve left you. Good luck with your life, son.’ Then silence. The last word was the killer, of course.
Tony pulled the headphones from his ears and bit his lip. A weight of sorrow pressed down on him, making his chest and throat ache. He wasn’t sure what was worse - hearing what he’d just heard, or not doubting its reliability. To hear such a shocking revelation about your mother would drive most men into a frenzy of rage. It wouldn’t occur to them to believe it. Their first response would be that this was a vile fantasy. Because most men didn’t have a mother like Vanessa.
For as long as he could remember, Tony had felt like the man Diane Patrick had described. The bad seed. The man who knew he carried the potential for evil inside him. One of the reasons he did what he did was his abiding conviction that he could so easily have become the sort of person he spent his life tracking down then trying to help. His empathy had to come from somewhere, and he had always believed it was rooted in his own potential for the road less travelled by.
And of course, Vanessa had never missed an opportunity to make him feel worthless. He had enough insight to understand how much she had undermined him, but even his professional training didn’t allow him to blame upbringing and circumstances for everything. There had to be a genetic component too. A balance of nature and nurture, conditioning and circumstance. And now he knew just how much of the bad seed was in him.
But for the first time, he also knew that his own fantasy of his father was false. He’d always thought a man who could walk out on his child must have a fatal flaw. Tony had believed he was the product of two profoundly fucked-up people, a legacy that offered him little potential to rise above it in emotional terms. Now he had to reset his own expectations of himself. Because half of what had made him had been a decent man who knew how much he’d let him down. And who had been proud of him.
It was going to be a big adjustment. And even as he thought this, Tony realised that change needed its own environment. Somewhere in his life, he was going to have to find an outward symbol of this transformation.
CHAPTER 44
Carol woke much earlier than she had planned. These days, too much alcohol had that effect. When she’d been younger, going to bed pissed had been a guarantee of eight hours of unconsciousness. These days, if she’d had too much to drink, she slept fitfully and not for nearly long enough. Another reason to follow Tony’s advice and cut it right back, she reminded herself. Her head felt muzzy and battered, her stomach bruised and tender. She vaguely remembered throwing up when she’d finally got back in the small hours.
But it had been worth it. It had been a night of great celebration for the team. Murders solved, lives saved, and Bronwen Scott stiffed. The icing on the cake had been the phone call Sam had taken from Brian Carson, the concierge of the Bayview Caravan Park. He’d been surprised to recognise the photograph of Nigel Barnes on the
