them without too much trouble. The Hartnidges had had an investigator looking into the Australian end, but Alf and Chicka were convinced someone in their newly set up Burbank offices was the mastermind behind the opal scam.
'Not that Tami would know anything about it,' said Chicka gallantly.
'We've got several Oz Mob shipments still on the way,' said Alf. 'God knows how many have opals in them.'
'Vital Tami never hears a word about our little problem,' Chicka cautioned. 'If even a hint of anything illegal gets out, there goes the whole shebang.'
Alf nodded sagely. 'Moral clause in our Lamb White contract. No scandal. Nothing illegal.' He jabbed Ariana with his elbow. 'Takes all the fun out of life, eh?'
She looked at him for a sec, as if she couldn't believe he'd whacked her in the ribs. 'I can see it could be a real downer,' she said.
'So that's the sitch.' Alf leaned back in his chair. 'We'll leave it up to you experts to decide the next step.'
The brothers turned to me, clearly expecting I'd know what this next step might be. 'We'll do a comprehensive check on members of staff at your Burbank offices, then get back to you,' I said.
Alf slapped his hands on his thighs. 'Well, that's business taken care of. Now to pleasure.' He beamed at Ariana. 'Hope you don't mind me being a bit pushy, love, but are you free?'
Ariana looked startled for a moment, then said, 'Pardon me?'
'I'd reckon a good sort like you would've been snapped up, but Melodie told Chicka, no, she'll be open to an invite. That's dinkum, isn't it? You're not hitched?'
I glanced at Ariana. She had an expression of polite inquiry. 'I'm not sure what you mean, Mr. Hartnidge.'
'Alf,' said Alf.
'He's asking you out,' said Chicka helpfully.
Alf nodded vigorously. 'Yeah. A slap-up meal, a show, whatever takes your fancy.'
Silence. Both Alf and Chicka gazed at Ariana.
'Could be the best offer you get all week,' I remarked.
The corners of Ariana's mouth twitched. 'I'm honored, Alf,' she said, 'but I'm afraid it's a rule of the company never to date clients.'
Clearly disappointed, he said, 'A rule, eh? A strict one?'
'Very strict. But thank you so much for asking.'
I saw them out, then came back to my office. Ariana was still there. We grinned at each other.
'You missed your chance with Alf,' I said severely. 'He may not ask you again.'
Ariana laughed. 'I'll just have to be brave about it.'
Seven
As soon as Bob came in, shaking his head over freeway traffic- 'It's a nightmare, and it's getting worse'-I filled him in on the meeting Ariana and I had had with Alf and Chicka. Unable to resist, I also told him how Alf had asked Ariana out on a date.
Bob's narrow face was split with a wide grin. 'And I had to be stuck in traffic. You have all the fun, Kylie.'
We discussed Lamb White and the Church of Possibilities, which Bob said was usually shortened to COP. 'Calling a church COP doesn't sound very religious,' I said.
With a cynical laugh, Bob said, 'COP isn't a religion. It's a money-making machine for Brother Owen. And he's a total fake too.'
'So why do all these people support him?'
Bob shook his head. 'He's one of the great televangelist con men. Wait until you see him in action.'
I went off to find Lonnie and give him the Oz Mob staff list for the Burbank offices. Lonnie's room was an indescribable mess, but he always seemed to be able to find what he was searching for in the piles of electronic devices, folders, binders, loose papers, and the like. He was hunched over a monitor, sitting in the only chair in the room that didn't have gear on it. He was operating the keyboard with one hand while stuffing a doughnut into his mouth with the other. Maybe I was influenced by the doughnut, but I thought he looked even plumper than usual this morning.
'You weren't here earlier,' I said, 'so I couldn't ask before I borrowed a coffee table.' I pointed to the crowded corner where I'd found it. 'The table looks pretty good in my office, so I was wondering if you wanted it back. I thought I could replace it with a cabinet, or shelving, or something like that. Be more useful, wouldn't it?'
With a practiced move, Lonnie shoved back the lock of brown hair that habitually fell over one eye, giving him a Peter Pan boyish look. 'You can have the table, but what did you do with the stuff that was on it?'
'I put everything neatly on the floor.' I didn't add it was the only neat area in the whole place.
Lonnie peered in the direction I'd indicated. 'Oh, yeah, I see it.' He gave me a stern look. 'It may seem a trifle disorganized in here, Kylie, but I have a mental grid system and know exactly where everything is. That's why it's important that nobody move anything.'
'Does Luis come in here?'
'The cleaner?' Lonnie was obviously horrified. 'He's forbidden to enter this room. And don't you ever, out of some psychotic desire for order, encourage him to!'
'No worries. Luis and I aren't what you'd call close.'
Lonnie jerked his head at the papers I held in my hand. 'Something for me?'
'Background checks. High priority.' I couldn't help adding, 'My first dinky-di case, actually.'
Grinning he said, 'A dinky-di case, is it? What's that, some peculiar Aussie sexual practice?' He gave me a pretend leer. 'Want to try it on me, little girl?' he asked, twirling an imaginary mustache.
'You're out of luck,' I said. 'Dinky-di means true, genuine. Like it's my first real case.'
He took the Oz Mob staff records and glanced at them. 'They've all got social security numbers. Piece of cake.'
'That makes it easier?'
'Honey,' said Lonnie dramatically, 'give me your social security number and I can find out everything, and I mean everything, about you.'
'I've got nothing to hide.'
'Everyone's got something to hide.' He rustled the pages. 'What am I looking for here?'
I gave him a quick rundown on the smuggled opal situation, and how the Hartnidges couldn't report the crime because it would derail their movie with Lamb White.
'I ran into Melodie in the kitchen,' said Lonnie, 'and she couldn't wait to tell me all about her date last night with Chicka Hartnidge.'
'More than she told
'Ah, but you're management, sweetheart.'
I grinned at him, rather pleased. 'I suppose I am.'
'Chicka took her to a British pub down in Santa Monica. Packed to the rafters with Brits. Melodie said she sang rugby songs, tried a lot of different beers, and played darts.'
I found this difficult to visualize, though what did I know of the intimate details of Melodie's social life? It was unlikely, but for all I knew, singing rugby songs, drinking beer, and playing darts was second nature to her.
Lonnie went on, 'Melodie says Chicka's promised she can voice one of the characters in the puppet movie he and his brother are making with Lamb White.'
I was aghast. 'You're kidding me!'
Amused, Lonnie said, 'I kid you not.'
'But all the characters in the movie are Australian animals. They'll speak with Aussie accents.'
'I pointed that out, but Melodie declared if Meryl could do an Aussie accent, so could she.' He sent me one of his charming, dimpled smiles. 'In fact, I believe Melodie's going to ask you to coach her. After all, you speak Aussie quite fluently, don't you?'
