The Hartnidge twins, plus me and Bob Verritt, were in my office. Alf and Chicka wore blue jeans and identical T-shirts, each bearing the words oz mob over a cartoon of an insanely grinning kookaburra.
I glanced around my office with satisfaction. It had originally been my father's room before he died. On my desk was a photograph of Dad and me when I'd been a little girl. It had been taken when my parents had still been married and living in Los Angeles. Sometimes I liked to think Dad was still here in his office, watching over me. For that reason, I didn't like to change it too much, for fear he wouldn't feel at home.
The charcoal-gray carpet was the same, as were the gray metal desk, bookcase, and filing cabinets. To lift the somber tone a little I'd had twelve of my best wildlife photographs framed and arranged on one wall. I was really proud of those close-ups of birds, reptiles, and animals in the bush around Wollegudgerie. Photography was the one area where I had infinite patience. I could look at each of my photos and place where and when it had been taken.
'I like the jacky,' said Alf, indicating a shot I'd got just after dawn one morning of a kookaburra whacking a small snake against a branch to kill it.
'Laughing jackass is another name for a kookaburra,' I said to Bob, in case he needed to be reminded.
He didn't want to know. 'Let's get to work,' he said. 'What's the cover we'll use to get Kylie into the Burbank office?'
'I'm thinking girlfriend,' said Alf.
Chicka nodded. 'Girlfriend would do it.'
'Wasn't the idea that you were going to give me a job in the company?' I said. 'That way I could snoop around on the sly.'
'Nah,' said Alf. 'A stickybeak girlfriend should do it. That sort of sheila always has her nose in other people's business. I'll let slip I'm dating an Aussie I tripped across here in L.A. and that I'm head over-heels for her.'
'One prob,' I said. 'I'm a lesbian. I've never had a boyfriend. I'd really have to struggle to act the part.'
Alf slapped me on the back. 'No worries, love! Myself, I'm bi, so I see it from both sides of the fence. You'll be right, trust me.'
He must have picked up my speculative glance in Chicka's direction, as he added, 'Not Chicka. He's the straight one in the family. Aren't you mate?'
Chicka blushed and bobbed his head. 'You could say that.'
'Lucky for Melodie, eh?' Alf slapped me on the back again. 'Chicka's a devil with the ladies, you know.'
Chicka blushed a deeper pink.
Impatient with all this chitchat, Bob said, 'We need to go through the logistics. Where Kylie's supposed to live, what her cover story is, where you're supposed to have met up. All that stuff.'
'She'll be apples,' Alf declared.
'He means everything will be OK,' I translated for Bob. He didn't look convinced.
Alf gave me a big, toothy smile. 'How's about it, Kylie? You free tonight for a nosh-up?'
First Ariana, now me? 'A dinner date? We don't need to practice, Alf. I can play your girlfriend in the office.'
Chicka threw back his head and hooted. 'Kylie thinks you're putting the hard word on her, mate.'
'Jesus,' Bob muttered. 'I wish someone would speak English around here.'
'Putting the hard word on is asking for sex,' I said to Bob.
Bob glared indignantly at Alf. 'May I remind you this is a professional relationship between Kendall & Creeling and your company. Sexual favors are
'I wasn't asking for sex,' Alf declared. He winked at me. 'Not that I'd turn her down if Kylie here wanted to try it with a bloke.'
'No, thanks,' I said.
Alf put on a serious face. 'Tonight's business, not pleasure. Tami Eckholdt of Lamb White is throwing Chicka and me a barbie to get together with some of her people.' He jabbed a thumb in my direction. 'Perfect op, don't you think? Kylie can come as my date. That gives her an in with the Lamb Whiters, doesn't it?'
Bob had to agree it did.
We got all the details straight, then Alf and Chicka got up to go.
'Chicka,' I said, 'can I ask you a serious question?'
He looked wary. 'What question would that be?'
I was pretty sure he was stringing Melodie along. I didn't want her embarrassed. She was already telling all her friends she had a guaranteed part as a puppet voice. The longer it went on, the worse it would be.
'Did you offer Melodie a part in your Oz Mob movie?' I expected him to say no, and was poised to read all the signals he was lying.
Alf scowled at his brother. 'Chicka, are you doing this
Chicka got red. It must be a trial to blush that easily. 'I might have mentioned something like that to Melodie,' he said.
I was getting quite riled. 'It's not right to get Melodie's hopes up that way.' I was pleased to see that Bob's expression was irate too.
Alf patted my shoulder. 'Don't get het-up, love. If Chicka's promised it, she's got the part.' He frowned ferociously at his brother. 'But this is the last time you do this, Chicka. All right?'
Chicka wilted a bit. 'All right,' he said.
I could see one looming problem that I hadn't mentioned to Bob or the Hartnidge brothers. After they'd left my office, I called Chantelle.
'Good afternoon! United Flair. How may I assist you?'
'It's me. This call is business, not pleasure.'
'I'll hide my disappointment as best I can.'
I loved Chantelle's sense of humor, but this was no time for light conversation. 'Do you know the receptionist at Lamb White, the movie company?' I asked.
'Sure do. Rachelle's her name. Excitable type. I've never met her, but we've often spoken. The talent agents here frequently have clients auditioning for parts in Lamb White movies.'
'Here's my situation,' I said. 'I know how incredibly efficient the receptionist network is.'
Chantelle murmured approval of my assessment. Everyone likes to be praised. So-
'Hold on, Kylie. Call coming through… Good afternoon! United Flair. How may I assist you?'
Chantelle took several calls, one after the other, then came back to our conversation. 'You were saying how efficient receptionists were…'
'That efficiency may be a problem. This is absolutely between us, Chantelle. Top secret. Confidential. Hush hush-'
'Honey, I get the picture!'
'I'm going undercover for a case-'
'No! Like last time?' I'd met Chantelle during my first attempts at learning private eyeing, so she knew I'd had somewhat of a rocky start.
'I hope things will go much smoother.'
'Amen,' said Chantelle with a giggle.
'Can we be serious for a moment? I'm worried the receptionist at Lamb White will realize who I am. I reckon everybody on the network got an earful about what happened last time.'
'You can relax,' said Chantelle. 'Rachelle's new in town. Just moved here from the Midwest. She's playing in the big leagues now and still trying to get up to speed.'
'So if a little Aussie broad called Kylie turned up, Rachelle wouldn't make the connection?'
'No way,' said Chantelle with certainty. 'Besides, Rachelle's not the sharpest pencil in the box. She's nice enough but tends to get flustered.'
I'd picked up from Chantelle and Melodie that receptionist flusterdom was judged very harshly. It was unprofessional to lose your head, whatever crisis came up.
'I'd speak to Melodie, if I were you,' Chantelle advised. 'She's your weak link.'
'Melodie's a weak link?'
'Normally, she's very professional,' Chantelle hastened to say. 'Lately, however, Melodie's head's been turned with her tooth-whitening callbacks. And now the puppet voicing. She'd never mean to give you away, Kylie, but
