The Dingo Dilemma

she depicted in almost photographic detail in her paintings seemed unexceptional. A closer look always showed something was very wrong-perhaps a human head was stacked neatly with logs in a fireplace, or a human finger, complete with blood-red nail polish, was being used as a bookmark.

Janette led the way into Ariana's beautiful living room, where a wall of glass provided a panoramic view of Los Angeles.

'Can I get you something to drink? Coffee? A soda?'

I didn't feel like anything, but I felt awkward, so to give me something to do with my hands, I said, 'A Coke?'

'Coming right up.'

When we were seated, each with tall glass of Coca-Cola, we silently regarded the stunning view. From this height, the sheer size of Los Angeles was evident. I tried to imagine what this huge basin, bounded by mountains and edged by the sea, would have looked like thousands of years ago.

Pulling my attention back to Janette, I said, 'How is Quip?'

'He's stiff and sore, but safely home with Fran looking after him.' She laughed. 'Spare a thought for the poor boy. My daughter's no Florence Nightingale. She has the bedside manner of a pit bull.'

I hesitated, then said, 'And Natalie?'

Janette's grin faded. 'No change. I don't know if Ariana told you, but Natalie's stroke was the less common one. It wasn't a clot, but a blood vessel breaking. There are aggressive treatments now for strokes caused by blood clots, but there's not as much that can be done for bleeding into the brain.'

I decided to be direct. 'I'm not sure what to say to Ariana. She's so cool, so contained.'

Janette gave me an understanding smile. 'My sister's always been rather reticent and the events in the past have accentuated her reserve. It might help you understand if you realize how Natalie's illness isolated Ariana. Natalie was much older than Ariana, and a professor at UCLA, so from the beginning the majority of their friends came from academia. Ariana was in the closet at the LAPD, which at that time was a hostile workplace for gays, so she formed very few close relationships there.'

'My father was one.'

Affection flooded Janette's face. 'Colin was a wonderful man. I still can't believe he's gone. I'll always miss him.'

I blinked hard, hoping Janette didn't see the sudden tears in my eyes. I missed him, too. He'd died before I'd really got to know him.

Janette went on,' When the unmistakable signs of Alzheimer's appeared, Natalie took early retirement. She had always been rightly proud of her intellect, so she was embarrassed and confused when it began to increasingly fail her. She became a recluse, withdrawing from almost everyone in their social network. I know Ariana tried to maintain friendships of her own, but she had so little time. Her life became filled with the demands of her career as a cop and her caretaker role with Natalie.'

I said, 'Ariana's told me how she stayed close to my dad and how he offered her a partnership in his business.'

'Colin admired Ariana for the way she managed her commitment to Kendall & Creeling while coping with Natalie's worsening mental state. And he was there for her when it became obvious that Natalie had deteriorated to the point where she needed to be in an intensive-care home.'

'Making that decision must have been hard,' I said inadequately.

'Devastating. It broke Ariana's heart, but at least she had me and Colin to support her. When Colin died, that left only me to confide in. Then you came along.'

'I don't think I could say Ariana confides in me.'

Janette leaned forward and put a hand on mine. 'I'm so pleased you're in her life, Kylie. You make her laugh, and that's more of an achievement than you can imagine.'

I said ruefully, 'It's more laughing at me than with me.'

'Don't sell yourself short. You're the only one, besides me, who can get close to her.'

'Crikey, Janette, I don't know if I can claim that degree of intimacy.'

Janette sat back with a knowing smile. 'Really? That's not how I heard it from Ariana.'

I felt myself blushing. 'What did she say?'

'She said you were like no one she had ever met before. That you went to bed together. That she was astonished and disconcerted.' Janette chuckled. 'And that it was pretty damn good.'

Flustered and delighted and confused, all at once, I blurted out, 'I'm in love with her.'

Janette's face softened. 'Kylie, that may not be such a good idea.'

'Why? Because Natalie will always be between us?'

'Ariana is fiercely loyal.'

'I can't help how I feel. I don't want to help it,' For the second time in a few minutes I felt tears sting my eyes. I was becoming such a sook. 'You're saying I've got Buckley's, are you?' I asked.

She frowned. 'Buckley's?'

'Meaning I've no chance.' I added for clarification, 'It's hopeless.'

Her expression concerned, she said, 'Ariana didn't mention any of this to me. Does she know how you feel?'

'Yes.'

Gussie, who'd settled down near us, suddenly leapt joyfully to her feet, her plumed tail wagging.

'Ariana's home,' said Janette.

We heard the key in the door and then the sounds of Gussie's enthusiastic greeting. Janette said to me in a soft voice, 'Be careful with her, Kylie. When she called to say she was running late, it was because she couldn't drive. She was too upset. She didn't say why, but of course it's to do with Natalie.'

Ariana and Gussie came into the room. Janette went to her and gave her a hug. 'How's it going, sis?'

'OK.' Ariana looked over Janette's shoulder at me. 'Hi.'

'Hello.' I felt a fool, not sure of what to say or how to act. Janette took the pressure off by bustling around looking for her car keys.

Keys located, she gave Ariana another quick hug. 'I'll speak with you tomorrow. If you want me to take Gussie again, just give the word.' She flashed a smile at me. 'See you, Kylie.'

Ariana and Gussie went outside to see Janette off, leaving me in unexpected turmoil, uncertain of whether to ask Ariana about Natalie, or avoid the subject. Would it hurt her or help her to talk about it? Was I presuming too much? Why would she want to share her grief with me?

Let me comfort you, I'd said yesterday, confident that I could. Today I wasn't sure of anything.

****

In the end, we didn't watch a movie, but had pizza delivered and chatted about different things, none of which was remotely connected to Natalie. I did most of the talking. I amused her with my description of Pauline Feeney's ire when I'd told her there was no way I could get her onto the Darleen set. I told her about my conversation with Yancy and how he'd claimed his boss, Norris Blainey, some time in the past had been associated with mysterious deaths. I described my trepidation about embarking on an acting career, even though it was only for a short time and in a good cause, and how I expected Harry and Gert O'Rourke to call any minute, demanding to know what I'd found out about their son, Dingo, which so far would be nothing.

After we'd cleared away the remains of the pizza, we sat on either end of the couch with tea (me) and coffee (Ariana) looking out at the lights of the city.

Ariana broke the silence. 'Sorry. I'm not very good company tonight.'

I took a deep breath. 'Do you want to talk about Natalie?'

'What is there to say?' I didn't speak. Ariana looked over at me. After a moment, she said, 'Natalie doesn't know who I am.'

How could anyone forget those laser blue eyes?

Ariana's lips trembled. 'She's in restraints. She doesn't understand what's happened to her, and she keeps trying to get up, saying she wants to go home. Natalie means our house, where we lived in Santa Monica.'