'How much?' He tried to make it sound casual, but didn't quite pull it off.
I avoided burning my lips on my tea and took a sip. It was horrible.
It should have been in a scent bottle, not a mug. 'I don't exactly know yet, but I reckon your share would be at least one hundred and thirty thousand cash. That's the minimum. All I need is a week of your time; two weeks at the most.'
I didn't have a clue how long the job was going to take, but once I got him to Finland, what could he do if it took longer? Getting him there was priority number one at the moment.
'Is it legal? I ain't doing anything shady, mate. I don't want any more trouble. I'm not getting locked up again, know what I mean?'
My tea went back on the carpet. It was shit anyway. 'Look, first of all, my name is Nick. And no, it's not illegal. I don't want to go to prison, either. It's just that I've been given this opportunity and I need someone brilliant with computers. I thought of you. Why not?
I'd rather you had the money than anyone else. You even get a free trip to Finland out of it.'
'Finland?' Jack the Lad was returning once again, head jutting. 'Hey, everyone is online up there. It's the cold, know what I mean, Nick.
Too cold, like. Nothing else to do.' He laughed.
I laughed along with him as his eyes moved over to Mickey again. 'Tom, do you need to be somewhere else?'
'Nah, it's just that Janice is home soon and the fact is, well, she don't know nothing-you know, my old work, getting put behind bars, all that stuff. I haven't really got round to telling her. I'm just a bit worried that, you know, if she came in and you said something'
'Hey, no problems. I'll keep quiet. Tell you what, when she comes in I'll just say that I've got a small computer firm and I'm offering you a couple of weeks' work up in Scotland, testing systems. How's that sound?' 'Nice one, but what's the form, you know, what are you after in Finland?'
'It's very, very simple. All we need is to access a system and then download some stuff. Until we get there I don't know what, how, and when.'
He immediately looked worried. I had to get in there straight away. I needed some lies. 'It's not what you're thinking. It is legitimate.
All we're going to do is find out about some new photocopier technology. And we've got to do it in a totally legal way, otherwise the money men don't want to know.' I couldn't think of anything more boring and nonthreatening than a photocopier and I waited for a bolt of something to come at me through the window.
God must have been asleep or had all his lightning still in the freezer. I carried on before Tom had a chance to think about it and ask questions.
'I can get us into the place,' I went on, 'but I need someone who knows what the fuck they're looking at once we're in front of one of those things.' I pointed at the heap of crap in the corner that was trying to look like a computer. He didn't say anything but looked at his greasy monitor screen, maybe thinking of the candy colored Power Mac and matching iMac laptop he could buy with his cut.
'Everything will be laid on when we get there, Tom. They know where the place is, all you've got to do is access and download it. Not steal, mind, just copy. Easy money.'
I braced myself in case God had stirred in time to hear that last bit.
Tom fidgeted on the carpet, so I kept going for it before God woke up or Janice got home. 'You know as much as me now, mate. I am going half on the money with you. One hundred and thirty grand, maybe more if we get the job done quickly. That's a shit load of cash, Tom.' I paused to let him visualize a wheelbarrow full of banknotes.
Fifteen seconds was enough. 'Chance of a lifetime, Tom.' I sounded like a double-glazing salesman. 'If you don't take it, someone else will.'
I settled back on the sofa to signal that the pitch was over. The next stage would be a shedful of intimidation to make him come with me if the soft-soaping failed.
'You absolutely sure it's safe, Nick? I mean, locked up. I don't want that again. Things are sweet here, know what I mean? I'm gonna be earning big bucks soon.'
Explaining to him that I knew he was bullshitting would have to wait until I read him his horoscope. 'Look, mate, even if it was illegal, there's no such thing as prison when it comes to these jobs. Think about it, if they discover that you've found out about their dinky photocopier, are they really going to go to the police? Are they fuck.
Think about the shareholders, think about the bad publicity. It doesn't work like that, mate. Trust me. What happened to you before was different. That was government business.' I couldn't help my curiosity. 'By the way, what was it they caught you doing up at Menwith?'
He started to get edgy. 'No, mate, I ain't saying nothing. I've done my time and don't say nothing to nobody. I never want to go back.' He was starting to sound like an old record.
He was in a dilemma. I knew he wanted the money, but he was struggling to make a decision. Time for a new tack. 'I tell you what, why don't you just come with me anyway, have a look, and if you don't like it, you can come back. I'm not trying to fuck up your life, mate.
I'm just trying to do us both a favor.'
He was shifting from one buttock to another. 'I dunno. Janice wouldn't like it,'
I moved forward once again on the sofa so my ass was on the edge, and went conspiratorial. 'Janice doesn't need to know. Just say you're going to Scotland. Easy.' The hiss of the gas fire could be heard clearly above my whisper. I decided I'd give him a bit more incentive.
'Where's your toilet, Tom?'
'Through the kitchen; you'll see the door.'
I stood up and took my bag with me. 'Nothing personal,' I said. 'Work stuff, you know.'
He nodded and I didn't really know if he understood or not, because I didn't.
I went into the toilet. I'd been right, the bathroom was part of the kitchen, partitioned off by a bit of plasterboard so the landlord could claim more rooms and charge more for people to live here. I sat on the pot and counted out six grand from the dollars. I was about to shove it in my pocket when I decided to calm down a bit and put two grand back in the bag. Pulling the flush, I came out talking.
'All I know is that it's an easy job. But I need you, Tom, and if you're honest, you need the money as much as I do. Look, this is what I want to do for you.'
Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out the four grand, making sure I rolled it with my other hand to make it look and sound extra attractive.
He tried hard to stop himself looking at it. Even this amount could probably change his life.
'This is how I'm getting paid, U.S. dollars. Here's four grand. Take it; it's a gift. Pay your bills, whatever you want. What more can I say? I'm going to go and do the job anyway. If you're coming with me, though, I need to know today. I can't fuck about.'
If he didn't give me a yes by this evening it would be horoscope time.
He'd still get paid; he just wouldn't enjoy the work so much.
He fingered the money and had to split it in half to get it into his jean pockets. He tried to put a serious business expression on his face. It wasn't working. 'Nice one. Thanks, Nick, thanks a lot.'
Whatever happened he could have the money. It made me feel good, and with everything else going down the tubes in my life, I needed that.
But I needed to make sure he didn't fuck up with it and let it be traced back to me. 'Don't go to the bank to change it or make a deposit, they'll think you're a drug dealer. Especially with an address round here.'
His smile broadened.
'Take it to a few currency exchanges. The rates will be shit, but there you go. Have a nice day out. Hire a taxi; you can afford it.
Just don't change any more than three hundred dollars at a time. Oh, and for fuck's sake buy yourself a warm coat.'
He looked up and the grin turned into a laugh as he did his cockerel impression. It stopped just as quickly at the sound of a key going into the door lock.
'Shit, it's Janice. Don't say jack. Promise me, Nick.'
