'Right, but this sixth extinction is not happening because of some external force, it's happening because of us the exterminator species. And there ain't no Jurassic Park, we can't just magic them back once they've gone. We've got to save them now.'
I didn't say anything, just looked into the distance as she drank and a million crickets did their bit.
T know, you're thinking we're some kind of crazy save-the-world gee ks or whatever, but-' I turned my head. 'I don't think anything like that-' 'Whatever,' she cut in, her free hand up, a smile on her face as she passed the bottle.
'Anyway, here's the news: all the plant life on the planet hasn't been identified yet, right?'
'If you say so.'
We grinned at each other.
T do say so. And we're losing them faster than we can catalogue them, right?'
'If you say so.'
'I do. And that's why we're here, to find the species that we don't know of yet. We go into the forest for specimens, cultivate them, and send samples to the university. So many of our medicines come from those things out there in the tubs. Every time we lose a species, we lose an option for the future, we lose a potential cure for HIV, Alzheimer's, ME, whatever. Now, here's the cool part. You ready?'
I rubbed the bandage on my calf, knowing it was coming regardless.
The drug companies provide grants for the university to find and test new species for them. So, hey, go figure, we have a form of conservation that makes business sense.' She nodded in self-approval and got busy cleaning her nails.
'But despite all that, they're closing us down next year. Like I said, we're doing great work, but they want quick results for their buck. So maybe we're not the crazy ones, eh?'
She turned once more to gaze out towards the tubs, her face no longer happy or serious, just sad. I was quite enjoying the silence with her.
I'd never had the tree-hugging case put to me like that before. Maybe it was because it came from her, maybe it was because she wasn't wearing an anorak and trying to ram it down my throat.
'How do you reconcile what you do here with what you're doing for me? I mean, the two don't exactly stand together, do they?'
She didn't turn to face me, just kept looking out at the tubs.
'Oh, I wouldn't say that. Apart from anything else, it's helped me with Luz.'
'How's that?'
'Aaron's too old to adopt, and it's so complicated trying to get things done here.' I thought for a moment that she was going to blush.
'Soooo, my father came up with the offer of a US passport for her, in exchange for our help that's the deal. Sometimes we do wrong things for right reasons isn't that true, Nick whatever-your-name-is?' She turned to me and took a deep breath.
Whatever was about to be said, it changed, and she gazed back out over at the treeline as a swarm of sparrow-sized birds took flight and chirped in frantic unison.
'Aaron doesn't approve of us doing this. We fight. He wanted to keep hassling for an adoption. But there's no time, we need to head back to Boston. My mother went to live there again after the divorce. George stayed on in DC, doing what he's always done.' She paused, before going off at a tangent.
'You know, it was only after the divorce that I discovered how powerful my father is. You know, even the Clintons call him George. Shame he didn't use some of it to save his personal life. It's ironic, really. Aaron's like him in so many ways ...'
'Why go after so long because you're being closed down?'
'Not only that. The situation is getting worse down here. And then there's Luz to think about. Soon if 11 be high school, then college. She's got to start having a normal life. Boyfriends who double-date, girlfriends who talk about you behind your back, that kind of stuff...' She smiled.
'Hey, she wants to go, like yesterday.'
The smile soon died but her voice wasn't sorrowful, just practical.
'But Aaron Aaron hates change just like my father. He's just hoping all the troubles will go away.' Her head tilted up and back as the flock of birds screeched by, inches above the house. I looked up as well, and tracked them across the sky.
She sighed.
'I'll miss this place.'
I knew I was supposed to say something, but I didn't know what. I felt that the mess I'd made of my own life didn't exactly qualify me to help sort out hers.
'I love him very much,' she said.
'It's just that I've gradually realized I'm not in love with the man, I guess ... Oldest cliche in the book, I know. But it's so difficult to explain. I can't talk to him about it. It's ... I don't know, it's just time to go ...' She paused for a moment. I could feel the blood pumping through my head.
'There are times when I feel so terribly lonely.'
She used both hands to put her hair behind her ears then turned towards me.
There was a silence between us again as the pulse in my neck quickened, and I found it difficult to breathe.
'What about you, Nick?' she said.
'Do you ever get lonely?'
She already knew the answer, but I couldn't help myself... I told her that I lived in sheltered housing in London, that I had no money, had to line up to get free food from a Hari Krishna soup wagon. I told her that all my friends were dead apart from one, and he despised me. Apart from the clothes I was wearing when I arrived at their house, my only other possessions were in a bag stuck in Left Luggage at a railway station in London.
I told her all this and it felt good. I also told her the only reason I was in Panama was that it would stop a child being killed by my boss. I wanted to tell her more, but managed to force the lid back on before it all came flooding out.
When I'd finished, I sat, arms folded, feeling uncertain, not wanting to look at her, so just stared out at the tubs again.
She cleared her throat. The child ... is that Marsha or Kelly?'
I spun my head round and she mistook my shock for anger.
'I'm sorry, sorry ... I shouldn't have asked, I know. It's just I was there, I was with you all night, I hadn't just appeared ... I was going to tell you this morning, but we both got embarrassed, I guess ...'
Fuck, what had I said?
She tried to soften the blow.
'I had to stay, otherwise you would have been half-way to Chepo by now. Don't you remember? You kept on waking up shouting, trying to get outside to look for Kelly. And then you were calling out for Marsha. Somebody had to be there for you. Aaron had been up all night and he was out of it. I was worried about you.'
The pulse was stronger now and I felt very hot. What else did I say?'
'Well Kev. I thought it was your real name until just now and-' 'Nick Stone.'
It must have sounded like a quiz-show quick fire answer. She looked at me a moment, a smile returning to her face.
'That's your real name?'
I nodded.
Why did you do that?'
I shrugged, not too sure. It had just felt right.
When I spoke next, it was as if I was in a trance. As if someone else was doing the talking, and I was just hearing them from a distance.
'The girl's name is Kelly. Her mother was Marsha, married to my friend, Kev. Aida was her little sister. They were all murdered, in their house. Kelly's the only one left. I was just minutes too late to save them. She's why I'm here she's all I have left.'
She nodded slowly, taking it all in. I was vaguely aware that the sweat was now leaking more heavily down
