longer control her nervous system.
A small glimmer of fear resurfaced. What were they doing to her? What were they going to do to her now that she couldn't feel anything? Was it true what Kendall had told her? That they were going to impregnate her and speed her along to birth?
No!
She could hear the sound of a machine running. It reminded her the mail-sorting machine she used to work with back in high school at the post office in her town. That steady sh-shoop sound.
Memories flooded her head. She was sixteen again. Back in the mailroom with the ceiling fans turning in the slow summer humidity. Sweat soaked through her uniform. She wiped her forehead and her hand came away wet.
And next to her, old Bettina Clark, the heavyset Alabama transplant who used to talk to Julia all the time about life, men, and cooking with lard — the only way to really cook.
'This here'd be some fahn weather for smokin' ribs like my old daddy used to make in the barrel smoker he had made up from an old oil drum he got out of Sked James' junkyard in Birmingham.'
And Julia would just smile and nod and agree with it all. Bettina had taught her a lot that summer — in her own way of course that Julia had never forgotten. And most importantly, Julia'd learned the preciousness of family.
Bettina would run on and on all day. Long sentences that reminded Julia of translating Cicero would amble out of Bettina's mouth and hang in the bloated air, full of history, mirth, and a refreshing outlook on life.
And at the end of each and every workday, Bettina would step away from the mail sorter, wipe her brow, say a small word of thanks to the Lord, and head on off home to cook for her grandkids.
Julia would wave and walk home in the evening breezes that dried her uniform shirt. At home she'd wash the shift, hang it out to dry, so it would be ready to wear the very next day.
Again.
Sh-shoop. Sh-shoop. Sh-shoop.
Her mind switched back.
Bettina disappeared.
Julia saw more inky darkness. The visitor eyes swallowed her again.
More images slid on to the screen of her mind. The summer when Julia was nineteen. The first year she'd come back from college.
Heartbroken.
After a full academic year of chasing after Scott Johnson, Julia'd finally secured a date with him. But all Scott wanted to do was hang out, drink, smoke weed, and bang her brains out — not necessarily in that order.
The realization that everything she'd built him up to be fell far short of the reality of who he was, crushed Julia's heart like never before. And even hearing the soothing words of Bettina telling her that 'It's just a man, baby. Ain't nothing worth getting yourself all caught up over,' did little good.
Julia came home, dejected.
And that first evening home, she wandered out beyond old man Crawford's cornfields to the abandoned husk of a barn that had burned partially twenty years previous. Julia had climbed up to the loft, dangled her legs over the side and watched the sun chase the horizon in slow motion while the fireflies danced in the fields far below.
She wondered then what her life would hold for her. Still a virgin. Still unsure of the ways of the big wide world.
Scared.
That's what it was, she decided. She was scared of life. The uncertainties of what she might become. The reality that this place she'd called home for so long would invariably be left behind and she'd have to find new places to feel secure.
It scared her.
Her mind clicked over again.
Sh-shoop. Sh-shoop.
What were they doing to her? Why force her to relive these memories? What good would it do for them? Were they peering into her mind for some reason? Were they trying to figure out if she was a good mother candidate for their heinous offspring?
No!
The eyes returned. She decided she could find absolutely no trace of emotion in them at all. They seemed utterly devoid of compassion. No mercy.
Just cold.
Like the rain.
She used to enjoy reading those Choose Your Own Adventure books for young adults when she'd been a teenager. What was it about them that she loved so much?
Choice without risk.
She could vicariously live out any desire and never have to fear that she would pay a price she wasn't ready to pay. If she didn't like the way things were going, she could simply start over.
Be nice if life was like that, she decided.
Would she still be here?
Or would she have never tried to get this leadership position?
I didn't get it, she reminded herself. Kendall manipulated the proceedings for his own evil purposes.
A surge of resentment filled her heart.
Kendall.
She had a score to settle with that guy.
And so help her God, she was going to see that she did.
She couldn't imagine the visitors really needed all that much help from the likes of Kendall. If they were as advanced in their technology and mind control as they seemed to be, why would they need the petty skills of a greedy power-hungry fool like Kendall?
It didn't make sense.
Something jabbed her.
But it didn't hurt. Just felt like sudden pressure.
Were they implanting something in her?
She tried to look down. She tried to crane her neck.
'What are you doing?'
Her voice surprised her. She wondered at first who had spoken, but then remembered it as her own voice.
It echoed off the walls and reverberated around her.
'What-?'
Her mind clicked over again and this time, Julia fought it.
'No!'
She could feel the tug get stronger. They wanted her occupied with something else. Julia could remember reading an article about surgeons who used misdirection as a form of anesthesia for their patients. Get them so utterly engrossed in something else, like a challenging crossword puzzle or something that they would concentrate solely on that and on nothing else. In effect, the nerve impulses that sent the pain signals to the brain would not register at all.
But she'd never heard of anyone having the kind of success where they could actually operate on them.
Wouldn't it be interesting if-?
'No!'
They were so subtle about it. They would take anything. The slightest thought that came into Julia's mind could be manipulated into a painkiller.
She wouldn't let them.
She wouldn't think about anything.
Julia emptied her mind.
She imagined white filling her mind's eye. Nothing would show up on it. Nothing at all.
