American Rust

happy, it seemed amazing his skin could hold it all, it seemed he had never felt this way in his life. No, he thought, it’s only that this is something you can’t store away, you can only feel in the minute.

He didn’t know how much longer he looked at her like that, touching her lightly with his fingertips. He could feel her skin getting warmer. She parted her legs. He put his finger there and she opened them farther and looked at him.

“I thought it might have been the wine before.”

She shook her head. Then she smiled and said, “So you’re saying you got me drunk on purpose?”

“Basically.”

“Next time I’ll be a cheaper date.”

They rolled on their sides and she wrapped one leg around him, moving very slowly with their eyes focused. It was right what they said about sex, it did just keep getting better, all of this, his supposedly worn- out body. He’d nearly turned it down. He felt light, no awareness of lying on the bed, they could have been anywhere, the feeling he usually had of things passing quickly, of fading, why had he ever felt that? I can feel this, touching her, and then his thoughts turned into something else and didn’t make any sense at all.

9. Isaac

In the dream he was with his mother and sister in the backyard, looking out at the distant hills behind the house. They were all waiting for Isaac’s father—he was coming home for Easter, driving from Indiana. Something felt wrong about the dream; he and his sister were too old— high school age. By then his father had already had the accident. His mother and sister were sitting on the porch rocker, kicking their feet, laughing about something, and Isaac was in the garden, digging a hole. Isaac keep away from the roses, said his mother. But his sister stuck up for him. Then they were in the kitchen, his mother was putting dinner back into the refrigerator because his father was still not home yet, he was hungry and everyone was feeling let down, but Lee kept goosing his neck. Then she was joking around with his clothes, untucking his shirt. Very funny, he said.

Something was wrong. Wake up. Where am I? In the clearing. Morning now. What is he doing? The Baron was squatting over him. He was removing his hand from the pocket of Isaac’s cargo pants, very gentle, he had the envelope with Isaac’s money.

Isaac had the knife in one hand, he had slept like that all night, he could feel himself tensing his grip, getting ready to use the knife. No, he thought, there is no way He let go of the knife and grabbed at the Baron’s coat with both hands and tried to roll on top of him. But the Baron easily shook loose and then he was up and running.

Isaac seemed to float up and onto his feet and then he was moving as well. He could not believe how fast the Baron was covering the ground, the white envelope flashing in his hand, Isaac was running as fast as he could, the trees were a blur. The knife was in his left hand and he switched it to his right. You need to catch him, he thought. The woods ended and they passed the trailer park, they were in the open now, a parking lot, they reached a four- lane road with traffic going both directions.

The Baron turned onto the sidewalk and kept running, past a line of stopped traffic, startled faces. After a block Isaac began to gain on him. What if I catch him? Use the knife. He’s stronger than you and you’ll have to use it. I can’t do that, he thought. Then catch him anyway. He’ll be tired and you might have a chance. He was only a few steps behind the Baron now. They were right out in the open, he had a feeling everyone was watching them, they had passed several dozen cars now. There were spots in his vision and his lungs were burning but it didn’t matter. He’d never run this fast in his life. He could run forever. There was a tall chain-link fence to the left and the sidewalk they were running on and then the road to the right. When you tackle him drop the knife. You’ll cut yourself. A white car passed in the other direction and out of the corner of his eye Isaac saw blue lights flashing as the car pulled a U-turn, he was nearly close enough to touch the Baron and then there was a siren and the blue lights again. No, he thought, he could see the envelope pumping up and down in the Baron’s hand, you can almost touch him, then the cop car jerked across three lanes of traffic and jumped up the curb thirty feet in front of them, the cop was out quickly, he was behind the door, Isaac couldn’t see his hand but he knew: drawing his gun.

Stop stop stop he heard, it’s the knife, he thought, get rid of the knife, there was the tall fence to his left and before he could think he’d leapt up and rolled over it, pivoting on his chest over the top, ripping his coat open and landing on his hands and knees. Stay down stay down the cop was screaming, the knife had flown off somewhere into the dirt. Everything was in slow motion now, he wanted to stand up but the cop had his gun trained on him, does he see you dropped the knife? Get up. Get up get up get up. He might shoot me. No get up. Focus on your legs. He was running again. Do not shoot if he shoots you will feel it before you hear it, it won’t feel like anything, he glanced back again, he had a quick impression of the cop, an older black man, talking into the radio on his collar, the Baron must have stopped running because now the cop was pointing the gun in a different direction, away from Isaac.

Entire areas of his vision were blurred out but he forced himself to keep running, across a parking lot between two small office buildings, he plunged through a row of bushes, going back in the direction he’d come.

10. Poe

The next morning, he waited in his cell for several hours to get an escort out to the yard. His cellmate had still not come back. A guard came by to tell him that his lawyer would be visiting tomorrow, but Poe did not want to think about the lawyer. Finally Clovis banged on the bars. “Dwayne busy?” Poe said.

Clovis didn’t answer, so Poe followed behind him, down to the end of the tier, down the stairs, through the cellblock, there was dust floating in the light from the windows, close your eyes and you’d think it was any locker room, stinking like socks and toilet stalls and moldy cement, people talking too loud, everyone saying stupid shit. He followed Clovis into the main corridor and then out through the metal detectors into the yard, open air, sand and sunshine, blue sky. Practically like the beach in summertime. Pretend the towers are lifeguards.

Clovis still hadn’t said a word and everyone took notice when Poe arrived at the weight pile, either smiling in a way he didn’t like or turning so they didn’t have to talk to him. He got nervous immediately but he found a place against the fence and acted like he didn’t notice. Black Larry came over.

“Young Poe,” he said, “we’ve been having some discussions about your future.”

Poe nodded.

“I’ll give you the straight dope. The consensus is we need to have a little papers party. Take a look at your charge sheets. Satisfy our own curiosity if you’re amenable.”

“Whatever y’all want. I don’t give a fuck.” Poe shrugged.

“I wouldn’t be so fuckin smug if I were you,” said Clovis. “Half the people in here are after you.”

“Well, I know for a fact there’s one of them who ain’t after me, at least until he gets out of the fuckin infirmary.”

“Little Man ain’t shit and I guaran- fuckin- tee you the minute you’re out of our circle they’ll find your fuckin corpse in a laundry tub. You’re part of the minority in here, if you ain’t noticed, and every single one of them niggers been lacin up since the minute they fuckin saw you.”

“Clovis,” said Dwayne.

“Young Poe understands,” Black Larry said to Dwayne. He looked at Poe. “Sunshine, Young Poe. The best disinfectant.”

“Alright,” said Poe.

“Go with him, Dwayne.”

“Yo Dwayne,” Clovis said.

Dwayne turned back to look.