Thirteen Hours

up straight, his eyes wild, his mouth opening and closing once, then the jaw muscles clamped shut, twitching as it all burst out and he hammered his fist against Adam Barnard's door:' Jirre-jissis!' He spun around, aimed for the door again, but Griessel had him, gripped his arm.

'Fransman!'

Dekker struggled to hold the arm. 'It stays your case.'

The coloured detective stopped, eyes staring, arms still up in the air. Griessel felt the strength in the shoulders as he pulled against them.

'I've got a son in Matric,' said Griessel. 'He's always telling me 'Pa you must chill' and I think that is what you must do now, Fransman.'

Dekker's jaw began to work again. He jerked his arm out of Griessel's grasp and glared angrily at the door.

'You let everything wind you up, Fransman. It doesn't help shit.'

'You would never understand.'

'Try me.'

'How can I? You're white.'

'What is that supposed to mean?'

'It means you're not coloured,' he said, an angry finger pointed at Griessel's face.

'Fransman, I have no fucking idea ...'

'Did you see, Benny? Last week, with the Commissioner? How many coloureds were there?'

'You were the only one.'

'Yes, just me. Because they push the darkies. That's why they are sending Kaleni. They must be pushed in everywhere. I'm just a fucking statistic, Benny, I'm just there to fill their fucking quota. Did you watch the Commissioner on Thursday? He only had eyes for the bloody Xhosas, he didn't even see me. Eight per cent Coloureds. Eight fucking per cent. That's how many of us they want. Who decided that? How? Do you know how many brown people that has ruined. Thousands, I'm telling you. Not black enough, sorry, brother, off you go, get a job with Coin Security, go and drive a fucking cash van. But not me, Benny, I'm not going anywhere.' Fransman Dekker's zeal drove him to the words and rhythms of his Atlantis childhood. 'It's my fokken life. I was just so big, I said to my ma I'm gonna be a policeman. She skivvied her gat af so I could get Matric and go to the polieste. Not drive a fokken cash van ...'

He wiped spit from his lips. Griessel said: 'I do understand, Fransman, but...'

'You think so? Have you been marginalised all your life? Now that you whiteys have affirmative action at your backs, now you think you understand? You understand fokkol, I'm telling you. You were either Baas or Klaas, we were fokkol, always, we weren't white enough then, we're not black enough now; it never ends, stuck in the fucking middle of the colour palette. Now this white Christian lady says no, she's not talking to a man, but she doesn't know I can read her like I can read all the whiteys.'

'Can you read me, Fransman?' Griessel was growing angry too.

Dekker didn't reply, but turned away breathing heavily.

Griessel walked around him, so he could talk to his face. 'They say you've got ambition. Now listen to me, I threw my fokken career away because I didn't have control, because I let the shit get to me. That's why I'm standing here now. I didn't have any more options. Do you want options, Fransman? Or do you want to still be an Inspector at forty-four, with a job description that says 'mentor' because they don't know what the fuck to do with you? Do you know how that feels? They look you up and down and think, what kak did you get up to that you're just a fucking Inspector with all that grey hair? Is that what you want? Do you want to be more than a bloody race statistic in the Service? Do you want to be the best policeman you can be? Then drop the shit and take the case and solve it, never mind what they say or how they talk to you or who John Afrika sends to help you. You have rights, just like Melinda Geyser. There are rules. Use them. In any case, you can do what you want, it won't change. I have been a policeman for over twenty-five years, Fransman, and I'm telling you now, they will always treat you like a dog, the people, the press, the bosses, politicians, regardless of whether you are black, white or brown. Unless they're phoning you in the middle of the night saying 'there's someone at the window' - then you're the fucking hero. But tomorrow when the sun shines, you're nothing again. The question is: can you take it? Ask yourself that. If you can't, drop it, get another job. Or put up with it, Fransman, because it's never going to stop.'

Dekker stood still, breathing heavily.

Griessel wanted to say more, but he decided against it. He stepped away from Dekker, his brain at work, shifting his focus.

'I don't believe it was Josh Geyser. If he's lying, he deserves a fucking Oscar. Melinda is the only alibi he has, and there's something about her ... she doesn't know what he said, let her talk, get her to give you more detail about yesterday, exactly what happened, then phone me and we can compare their stories. I have to go and see the Commissioner.'

Dekker didn't look at him. Griessel walked away down the passage.

'Benny,' said Dekker when he was almost in the reception area. Griessel turned.

'Thank you,' with reluctant frankness.

Griessel gestured with his hand and left.

One of the men in the lounge got up from an ostrich leather couch and tried to intercept him. Benny tried to avoid eye contact, but the man was too quick for him. 'Are you from the police?' He was tall, just over thirty, with a face that seemed very familiar to Griessel.

In a hurry and bothered, he said: 'Yes, but I can't talk to you now.' He would have liked to add 'because they are fucking me around', but he didn't. 'My colleague is still inside. Talk to him when he comes out,' and he jogged down the stairs, across the grass to where his car was parked.

There was a parking ticket stuck to the windscreen, right in the middle of the driver's window.

'Fuck,' he said, frustration surging over his dam wall of self- control. More paperwork that he didn't need. Metro Police had time to write fucking parking tickets, but don't ask them to help with anything else. He left the ticket right where it was, climbed in, started the engine and reversed out, grinding the gears as he drove away. He was going to ask the Commissioner for a clear job description.

Benny Griessel, Great Mentor, just didn't work for him. He had asked John Afrika last Thursday exactly what this job entailed. The answer: 'Benny, you're my safety net, my supervisor. Just keep an eye, check the crime scene management, don't let them miss suspects. Bliksem, Benny, we train them until it's coming out of everybody's ears, but the minute they stand on the scene, either it's stage fright or just plain sloppiness, I don't know. Maybe we're pushing them too fast, but I have to meet my targets, what else can I do? Look at the bliksemse Van der Vyver case; he's suing the Minister for millions; we just can't let that happen. Look over shoulders, Benny, give a gentle nudge where necessary.'

A fucking gentle nudge?

He had to brake suddenly for the traffic jam up ahead, two rows of cars, ten deep. The power cut meant all the traffic lights were down. Chaos.

'Jissis,' he said aloud. At least Eskom was one state institution that was worse than the SAPS.

He leaned back against the seat. It wouldn't help to get angry.

But, fuck it, what were you supposed to do?

From one case to the next. First here, then there. That was a recipe for a disaster.

If Josh Geyser wasn't the one who shot Barnard ...

That guy inside, he remembered now who he was. Ivan Nell, the star, he'd heard all his stuff on RSG; good, modulated rock, although he was stingy with the bass. He was sorry he hadn't talked to him quickly, he could have written to Carla about it tonight, but that's how it went, time for fuck all except sitting in the traffic, cursing.

He was hungry too. Only coffee since last night, he would have to do something about his blood sugar and suddenly he had a desire to smoke. He opened the cubbyhole, scratched around and found a half-pack of Chesterfield and a box of Lion matches. He lit one, wound the window down and felt the heat rising up from the street surface and flowing into the window.

He drew on the cigarette, slowly blowing out the smoke. It dammed up against the windscreen, then wafted