Mistletoe Baby

“Yeah. Guess there’s nothing here I can fix.” With that, he spun on his heel and left.

Which was only fair, she supposed. After all, she’d left him first.

DINNER did a lot more to restore Rachel’s spirits than she would have guessed possible. She sat safely buffered between her father-in-law and Lilah. The bride-to-be chattered excitedly about her upcoming wedding. Everyone else was mostly free to nod and enjoy the home cooking. Susan’s food was the old-fashioned, hearty kind that comforted the soul, carbs be damned.

When Arianne finished eating, she pushed away her plate and interrupted discussion of flowers, lace and music with a wicked grin. “You haven’t mentioned the most important part-the bachelorette party!”

Tanner groaned.

Arianne ignored him. “Come on, Li. I’m the maid of honor. It’s part of my job description. I wasn’t even legally old enough to participate in the champagne toast when Rachel and David got married-you’re not going to rob me of my fun now, are you? Besides, it will drive my brother crazy wondering what I have in store, and he picked on me a lot when I was younger.”

Smacking a hand to his forehead, Tanner asked, “Would it help if I apologized for that now?”

“Not so much,” Arianne said sweetly. She turned back to her friend. “You trust me, right?”

Lilah laughed knowingly. “Not even a little. Rach, you’ll help Arianne with the party plans, won’t you? Make sure she doesn’t get too crazy.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Rachel heard herself say. “Maybe we could all use a crazy girls’ night.”

“Yes!” Arianne clapped her palms together. “Good to have you on board. Now, Lilah, you have a valid passport, right?”

Throughout the rest of the meal, Rachel and Arianne brainstormed facetious party ideas, each more outlandish than the last. If anyone noticed that David wasn’t laughing quite as much as the rest of the family, no one drew attention to it. Clearing the table went quickly with so many helping hands, and they adjourned to the dining room, where the bare green Christmas tree waited.

“Aunt Shelby always popped popcorn to string on the tree,” Lilah told them, “but Uncle Ray and I usually ate most of it.”

Tanner lifted his hand to her lips, pressing a quick kiss across her knuckles. “Just think, soon we’ll be able to start our own family traditions.”

Susan glanced up from the piles she was making-sorting decorations by the room she planned to use them in- and smiled at Rachel. “How’s your family doing, dear? They have big plans for the holidays?”

It occurred to Rachel then that her parents had never come to Mistletoe to see her for Christmas; they stayed in South Carolina to celebrate with Kate and her husband. It would have been nice if just once…Well. That hardly mattered now.

She cleared her throat. “Actually, I talked to my sister the other day, and she did have some big news. They’re expecting their second child.”

Even though Rachel kept her gaze locked on Susan and couldn’t really see David’s expression, she felt him tense, felt his sudden vibe of oh, babe. He would know more than anyone how deeply Kate’s happy news had cut…and how disgusted Rachel was with herself because of that.

There was a flicker of what might have been pity in Susan’s eyes, too, but she smiled brightly. “Your parents must be thrilled.”

“Undoubtedly,” Rachel said automatically. “You know, I have this craving for hot chocolate. Can I make some for everybody?”

She got several enthusiastic responses and promised extra marshmallows to Tanner before escaping the room. The pot of milk on the stove had barely begun to bubble when she heard footsteps behind her. Oh, please let that be Arianne. But she knew better.

“Thought I’d come see if you could use some help,” her husband said.

Emotionally frayed, she snapped, “I’m perfectly capable of managing hot chocolate.”

“Rachel.” That was all, just her name and a wealth of understanding.

She slumped, feeling like a shrew. “I’m sorry.” Being around David somehow brought out the worst in her. For that alone, she’d be eager to get out of Mistletoe. If she couldn’t rediscover the person she’d once been, at least she could reshape herself into someone less wretched.

“You should have told me,” he said. “About Kate.”

Rachel smiled fondly. “And what would you have done?”

He was quiet for a moment, then smiled back. “Been extremely frustrated about the unfairness of life?”

The thing about David was that he believed he was a good listener. He meant well. But he liked solving problems and grew impatient when something didn’t have a tidy solution. As their marriage went on, the problems between them had become more and more complex. And she’d turned to him less and less.

“I’m handling it okay,” she lied, spooning cocoa into the mugs on the counter. “I just wasn’t expecting it to come up tonight.”

He crossed to the pantry and retrieved a bag of marshmallows. Then he was at her side, dumping a few into each cup. Rachel couldn’t help breathing in his scent.

“You smell even better than the chocolate.” Startled, she cast about for a way to take back the words.

“Thank you.” David inclined his head, his expression unreadable. “My wife got me this cologne for my birthday.”

Suddenly there was a hissing sound, and Rachel realized the milk was boiling over, a violent froth spilling from the pot. It would seem that she was incapable of making hot chocolate without help. Then again, it was her helper who’d distracted her in the first place.

David cleaned up the mess while she filled mugs. He carried the first batch into the next room. When she followed a few moments later, Tanner snapped his fingers, shaking his head at the archway she’d walked through.

“Another minute,” he said, “and I would have had the mistletoe up. David could have caught you beneath it.”

Arianne, wearing her long-suffering single-gal-surrounded-by-happy-couples expression, thumped him on the shoulder. “They’re married, moron. He can kiss her anytime. This isn’t like when you were courting Lilah and practically had to trick her into kissing you.”

Lilah muffled a laugh and Tanner looked sheepish. It was no secret that he’d once screwed up their relationship and had to fight to win her back. At least he thought she was worth fighting for.

Rachel blinked, surprised by her melancholy. She should probably be relieved that David had accepted her decision so easily and hadn’t made the separation even harder than it was.

From her position at the tree, Susan glanced at her. “Rachel, dear, we should have you take some pictures for us.”

“If I can use your camera?” Rachel set her mug on a coaster. “I broke mine on Thanksgiving.”

“Oh, that’s right.” Her mother-in-law frowned. “I’ll have to dig mine out. I’d gotten so used to you being the family photographer-your pictures always turn out so well! Zachariah, do you know where our camera is?”

He retrieved it from a closet, handing it to Rachel with an expression of nearly boyish apology. “Afraid it’s the old-fashioned kind that uses actual film. Places still develop that, don’t they?”

She smiled. According to family stories, Zachariah hadn’t always been the easiest father to live with, but he’d always been a big teddy bear with her. “Of course. Film is fine.” The bigger problem was whether or not she could keep her hands from shaking with emotion.

It was on Thanksgiving, as she’d tried to set the automatic timer on her digital camera for a group shot, that she’d had the realization. Neither she nor David had truly been happy for weeks before that, possibly months, but neither of them were quitters. Neither of them had wanted to address the elephant in the room. But as she’d looked at the Waide family framed in the view window, it had struck her: I don’t belong here. Seeing the way Lilah and Tanner smiled at each other, trying to recall just when she and David had stopped looking at each other that way, had hurt. Far worse had been watching David laugh at whatever teasing comment Arianne had been making. His face had been alive with humor and affection, such a contrast to the patient but shuttered expression he reserved for his wife.