later, when all of the men ran away from blame, I would be the one to bear the disgrace. What could I do? I had been fully awake, yet I did not escape the nightmare.
'In the end,' one future historian would write, 'the Board of Revenue did remain inviolate, but important funds, estimated at thirty thousand taels, were defrauded from the Board of Admiralty for Grand Empress Tzu Hsi-the amount would have doubled the entire fleet, which would have enabled China to defeat its enemy.'
Unfortunately, I lived to read this criticism. It was when I was old and dying. I couldn't, didn't and wouldn't yell, 'Go and take a look at my home!' The money I was charged with stealing would have built it three times with pure gold.
24
Our troubles with Japan over Korea had been going on for a decade. When Queen Min of Korea called for help, I sent Li Hung-chang. The Queen was under the threat of Japanese-backed mobs. I took the matter personally. I knew that I would seek the same help if such a thing should ever happen to me.
It took two years for Li Hung-chang to work out an agreement with Japan's prime minister, Ito Hirobumi. Li convinced me that the agreement would prevent the escalation of the Korean situation into a full-scale Sino- Japanese military confrontation.
I frantically did what I could to get Li's draft agreement approved. The Manchu Clan Council hated the very existence of Li Hung-chang and did their best to block his effort. Prince Ch'un and Prince Ts'eng said that my living in the Forbidden City for so long had warped my sense of reality, and that my trust in Li Hung-chang was misplaced. My instinct told me, however, that I would end up with Queen Min's own troubles if I relied on the Manchu royals instead of Li Hung-chang.
As a result of my advocacy, the Li-Ito Convention was signed. China and Japan kept peace for a while. The Manchus stopped their campaign for Li Hung-chang's beheading.
But in March of 1893 Li sought an emergency audience with me at the Summer Palace. I was up before dawn to greet him. Outside in the garden, the air was crisp and cold, but the camellias were blossoming. I served Li hot green tea, for he had been traveling all night.
'Your Majesty.' Li Hung-chang's voice was tense. 'How have you been?'
I sensed unease and asked him to come to the point.
He knocked his forehead on the ground before letting out his words. 'Queen Min has been deposed, Your Majesty.'
I was stunned. 'How… how could that happen?'
'I don't have all the information yet.' Li Hung-chang rose. 'I only know that the Queen's ministers were brutally murdered. As of this moment, Korea's radicals are staging a coup.'
'Does Japan have a role in it?'
'Yes, Your Majesty. Japan's secret agents infiltrated Queen Min's palace disguised as Korean security guards.'
Li Hung-chang convinced me that there was nothing I could do to help Queen Min. Even if we could mount a rescue mission, we didn't know where the Queen was being held or even if she was still alive. Japan was determined to swallow Korea. The conspiracy had been kept alive for over ten years. China had been taking turns with Japan in backing rival factions in Seoul.
'I am afraid that China alone can no longer stop Japan's military aggression,' Li said.
The next weeks were tense, my days harried, my nights sleepless. Exhausted, I tried to supplant the worries of the moment by returning to something even more potent, replaying my earliest memories of my hometown of Wuhu.
Staring at the golden dragon ceiling above my bed, I recalled the last time I was with my best friend Grasshopper. She was kicking the dirt with her feet, her legs as thin as bamboo stalks.
'I have never gone to Hefei,' she said. 'Have you, Orchid?'
'No,' I replied. 'My father told me that it's bigger than Wuhu.'
Grasshopper's eyes lit up. 'I might get lucky there.' She lifted her blouse to reveal her belly. 'I am sick of eating clay.'
Her belly was huge, like a bottom-up cooking pot.
'I haven't been able to shit,' she said.
I felt extremely guilty. As the daughter of the local governor, I had never known hunger.
'I am going to die, Orchid.' Grasshopper's tone was flat. 'I will be eaten by a tableful of people. Will you miss me?'
Before I could answer, she went on. 'My younger brother died last night. My parents sold him this morning. I wonder which family is eating him.'
Suddenly my knees gave way and I collapsed.
'I am leaving for Hefei, Orchid.'
The last thing I remembered was Grasshopper thanking me for the feces from my family's manure pit.
The giant trees surrounding my palace made a wave-like sound. I lay in the dark, still unable to sleep. Leaving the past, I stumbled again into the present and thought about Li Hung-chang, the man from He-fei. Hefei, in fact, was his nickname. He too, I assumed, knew the hunger of peasants, and this had much to do with our mutual understanding and ambition to bring change to the government. It had come to bind us. I both looked forward to and dreaded audiences with Li. I didn't know what additional bad news he had to bring me. The only sure thing was that it would come.
Li Hung-chang was a man of courtesy and elegance. He brought me gifts, exotic and practical; once he presented me with reading glasses. The gifts always came with a story, about the place of their making or the cultural influences behind their design. It was not hard to imagine why he enjoyed great popularity. Besides Prince Kung, Li was the only government official that foreigners trusted.
I still could not sleep. I had a feeling that Li Hung-chang was on his way again. I imagined his carriage rambling through the dark streets of Peking. The Forbidden City's gates opening for him, one after another. The guards' whispers. Li being escorted through the mile-long entrance, along hallways and garden corridors and into the inner court.
I heard the temple's bell strike four times. My mind was clear but I was tired, and my cheeks were burning hot, my limbs cold. I sat up and pulled on my clothes. I heard the sound of footsteps, recognized the shuffle of soft soles and knew it was my eunuch. In the shadow of the moon Li Lien-ying came in. He lifted my curtain, a candle in his right hand. 'My lady,' he called.
'Is it Li Hung-chang?' I asked.
Li knelt before me wearing his prized double-eyed peacock-feather hat and yellow silk field marshal's riding jacket. I was afraid of what he would say. It seemed only a short while since he had brought me the terrible news of Korea's Queen Min.
He stayed on his knees until I asked him to speak.
'China and Japan are at war' was what he told me.
Although not surprised, I was still shaken. For the past few days the throne had ordered troops, under the leadership of Yung Lu, moved north to help Korea contain its revolt. Guang-hsu's edict read, 'Japan has poured an army into Korea, trying to extinguish what they call a fire that they themselves have lit.'
I had little confidence in our military might. The court wasn't wrong in describing me as one who 'got bitten by a snake ten years ago and has since been afraid of straw ropes.'
I lost my husband and almost my own life during the 1860 Opium War. If England and its allies were superior then, I could only imagine them now, more than thirty years later. The possibility that I would not survive was real to me. Ever since his return from Sinkiang, Yung Lu had been working quietly with Li Hung-chang on strengthening our forces, but I knew they had far to go. My thoughts were with Yung Lu and his troops as they made their way north.
