The Murder of Busy Lizzie

‘Clothilde, my dear, let me play this hand my own way. What happens to Lizzie’s property depends, after all, on Lizzie’s will.’

‘And you really think that your spending a month with her after all these years of estrangement will cause her to make a will in your favour?’

‘Or in favour of our children, if they play their cards sensibly.’

‘Really, Marius, you are singularly naif. Besides, we don’t know that the children will wish to fall in with your plans. They cut loose from us last summer and the summer before, even when I thought the holidays we had planned would be interesting and even exciting for them, so I cannot imagine that a boring sojourn on Eliza’s tight little island will appeal to them. Have you sounded them in any way?’

‘You know I have not. There has been no time. Since this Easter vacation began they never seem to be in the house, or, if one of them is here, the other is not.’

‘Well, if you expect them to put themselves out in order to make a good impression on their aunt, I’m afraid you’re in for a grave disappointment.’

‘Not if I point out that there may be something substantial in it for them. They are quite old enough to understand and appreciate that kind of argument.’ Marius raised his voice and called his children’s names. They took their time about answering him, but came into the room at last, a handsome pair separated in age by only two years.

The son, a tall youth of twenty, favoured his mother in looks although not in disposition. He was casual where she was intense; clever, whereas she was inclined to be stupid; but he had her large hazel eyes, her straight nose and her sensuous, curved mouth and expressive, strong hands. His sister was not very much like either of her parents. She was small and fair, with greenish eyes and an appearance of fragility which was entirely misleading. Both children preferred one another’s society to that of anybody else, although Sebastian had made tentative unsuccessful sexual experiments during his first year at college and Margaret had several young men who partnered her as opportunity offered, but to none of whom she was in any way committed.

‘Did you want us, Father?’ she asked.

‘Otherwise I should not have called you, my dear girl,’ Marius replied. ‘Sit down. I have something I wish to discuss with both of you.’

‘It’s not a rise in our allowance, by any chance?’

‘Well, it might run to that, if all goes well.’

‘Is that a promise?’

‘Give him a chance! ’ muttered Sebastian. ‘It’s no good trying to rush him.’

‘Well, it’s about the summer holiday,’ said Marius, eyeing his boy with the faint dislike which some fathers feel for their adolescent sons. ‘It is a long way off, so I doubt very much whether you have made any plans yet.’

‘I’ve had a chance to go with a reading-party to Sweden,’ said Sebastian, ‘but I don’t know that I’m all that keen.’

‘We wondered whether you’d sub up for both of us to go to Greece,’ said Margaret.

‘Greece?’ repeated Marius, as though he were giving thought to the proposition, an attitude which deceived neither of his children.

‘No, I suppose not,’ said Sebastian resignedly.

‘Now, now, just wait a moment, my boy. I think Greece might be a very good idea—later on.’

‘Never jam today!’ muttered Margaret.

‘By “later on” I meant towards the end of your Long Vacation, of course. We will go into ways and means. There is just one important point, though. I don’t think that either your mother or I would consider allowing the pair of you to go to Greece alone. What about one of these Hellenic cruises? I believe they are very well thought of.’

‘Lecture tours and the culture spread out like bird-lime? Hardly a holiday,’ said Sebastian.

‘You think not? Well, we’ll see, then. But first you may care to hear what else I have to propose. Read this letter and look at the brochure.’

‘Heavens!’ said Sebastian, when he had carried out these instructions. ‘Park ourselves on a chunk of granite in the rain and the south-west winds? What on earth should we find to do there?’

‘It’s an island. I like islands,’ said his sister.

‘Yes, for a couple of days, perhaps, but this letter suggests the whole of July. Who is this woman, anyway? Lizzie? We don’t know anybody called Lizzie, do we?’

‘She is my only sister,’ said Marius.

‘Why haven’t we heard of her before?’

‘There were reasons.’

‘A family row, I suppose. The letter reads like that.’

‘Yes, there were family differences, but now that your aunt has extended the olive-branch—’

‘If I hear that word one more time I shall scream and beat my breast,’ said Clothilde.

‘Oho!’ exclaimed her son. ‘A difference of opinion, is there? You’re not in the market for olive-branches, Boob darling?’

‘Don’t call me that! And don’t be so aggravating, Sebastian. A difference of opinion between your father and myself is unthinkable and is no concern of yours, anyway. As for that horrible nickname, I detest it!’

‘But you do boob, darling. Look at you at the Singletons’ sherry party last November! I nearly died of shame.’

‘If you hadn’t broken your glass and so attracted everybody’s attention, nobody would have noticed what I said.’

‘Darling, I sacrificed my social competence just to cover up for you. Actually—’

‘I think that will do,’ said his father. ‘I do not care for the nickname you have for your mother. It is neither kind nor respectful. Let us return to the subject under discussion and express our views in a courteous and reasonable way.’

‘So we’re to be the reply to the olive-branch, are we?’ said Sebastian, making an impudent face at his mother.

‘If you will allow me to continue: your aunt was left an estate on the island of Great Skua, together with an appreciable amount of money, on condition that she lived on the property and developed it. This she appears to have done to the best of her ability and with considerable success. She has made alterations and additions to the house and has turned it into a prosperous hotel. She has added amenities of all kinds and these, as you have seen, she proposes that we shall enjoy for a month of our summer vacation.’

‘At a price,’ put in Clothilde resentfully.

‘Naturally we shall not expect her to accommodate us free of charge, since we can well afford to pay,’ explained Marius to his children.

‘We could afford to pay for other sorts of holiday, too,’ said Sebastian. ‘Why should we bury ourselves alive in order to patch up a family squabble?’

‘There is no question of patching anything up. As I see it, your aunt has extended this…’ Marius caught his wife’s eye ‘… this kind invitation to us to go and visit her, and I have an excellent reason for accepting it.’

‘Is she—I mean, has she a family?’ asked Margaret.

‘Well, there, my dear, you go to the root of the matter. She is unmarried and has no dependents…’

‘Except an illegitimate son,’ said Clothilde.

‘Oh, dear!’ said Sebastian. ‘Ought Margaret to be allowed to hear the rest of this conversation?’

‘You mean she was silly enough to let somebody give her a baby?’ asked Margaret. ‘I shouldn’t think anybody as idiotic as that would be able to run a hotel.’

‘A cheap and nasty boarding-house,’ said Clothilde.

‘You surely don’t mean a brothel, Boob darling? Is Papa really suggesting that we take a holiday in a house of ill-repute?’ asked Sebastian, who was often inclined to amuse himself by being as irritating to his parents as he could manage.

‘Oh, shut up, Seb!’ said his sister, giggling.

‘But Mamma has just said—’

‘Be quiet! Be quiet!’ exclaimed his mother. ‘For heaven’s sake allow your father to finish what he has to