'Why? Because you are a Sinclair and I am a Balmoral? We are both Chrechte.'
She'd always thought that being a true mate would include loving her mate. Did it? Her feelings where he was concerned confused her. And what about him… did Drustan feel more than lust for her? He said he wanted her trust. Was that mere male posturing, or an expression of a deeper need he had not yet put into words? Or was true-mating as basic as going into heat? A very physical thing that she had always believed was more than physical.
'I don't know,' she said finally.
'You were not true-mated with Sean.' He sounded very pleased by that fact.
'No, of course not. I already told you, but how could I be and be true-mated to you anyway?'
He brushed her hair back from her face. 'I have heard of Chrechte being blessed with more than one true mate in their lifetime.'
'Is it a blessing… for you?'
'Yes. No matter why we mated, I want our marriage to be strong. I want you to be happy, Cait.'
'You do?' Had Sean wanted her to be happy? She'd always had the impression that her brother's gratification was more important than her own to her first husband.
'Yes.'
'Oh. That's nice.'
Drustan smiled. 'You are still a little befuddled by your faint, aren't you? It must be a pregnancy thing.'
'I suppose.'
'What about me?'
'What about you?'
'Do you want me to be happy, too?'
His happiness should not matter to her. She had not wed him by choice or by duty, but because of coercion. That was why she found it so peculiar that he wanted her to be content in their marriage. Her feelings did matter to him, if only just a little, but she did not understand why.
Unless it was his duty as a husband prompting him to be solicitous.
Regardless of why he felt as he did, she, too, cared if he was satisfied with her as his mate. Very much. 'Yes, I want you to be happy.'
'Then we will be.'
'I will not be happy if you kill my brother,' she warned.
His glare was ferocious enough to make her flinch. 'Do not try to use our bond to manipulate me. I will do what I must do as a warrior.'
'So, you lied?' she asked, trying to get away from the circle of his arms without success. 'You only want me to be happy if it means you doing what you want?'
'A warrior does not always have the luxury of doing what he wants… he does what he must.'
'But if you would just talk to Talorc, instead of fighting him… you would find out that there is no reason for war between our clans.'
'I do not think he would agree.'
'The babe is not born yet. God willing, we will have arrived at an agreement that will not tear my heart out before that, but that is not the immediate issue.'
Drustan sighed and rolled onto his back. 'Lachlan would never have given Susannah leave to hunt alone and my sister would not lie. Ever.'
Perversely, she missed his surrounding warmth, but the implication of his words was even more chilling. 'So, you are saying I am lying?'
He rolled back toward her and pulled her close. 'I do not wish to discuss this now.'
She avoided his lips while her own ached for the contact. But this was too important to dismiss with physical need. 'Because you don't want to admit that you are wrong, but just stop and think. What if Susannah went across the water believing it was her best hope for making it through the full moon unmated? Then she ends up mated to Magnus and she doesn't want him to think she is disloyal or disobedient, so she…'
'Lied? My sister is not such a weak woman.'
'Please, Drustan, just consider the possibility.'
He shook his head and kissed her, but she refused to respond. It was hard. Harder than anything she'd ever done, but she could not give herself to a man who thought she was a liar.
'What is the matter?' he demanded, lifting his head.
'You think I'm a liar.'
He took a deep breath, his chest filling up and hard muscles pressing against her side. 'I do not think you are a liar.'
'But you do. Either Susannah is lying, or I am.' Or Lachlan, but she thought Emily's point of view on that was sound. The man was too arrogant to think he needed to lie.
'I have known Susannah her whole life. She does not lie.'
'And you have only known me two days and one night, but I don't lie either.' Her heart was cracking in her chest and she didn't know why. She should be offended by his lack of trust, not hurt. What was the matter with her?
'Perhaps Magnus convinced my sister to tell the story.'
'For what purpose? He is not so shy he would have balked at asking for her hand and since chances were she was pregnant, that request would have been granted… no matter how she came to be in his keeping.'
'But if he took her, Lachlan might still have declared war.'
'And convincing her to tell that lie to our people wouldn't have prevented that. No, he had no reason to request such a thing of her.'
'So, you want me to denounce my sister as a liar?'
'No. I want you to talk to her… talk to Talorc. Please.'
'How do you propose I do this?'
'You could go to the Sinclair holding in open parley.'
'And I suppose you would expect me to take you along?'
'He might listen to me more readily than he would you, but no… not if you don't think it is best.' She'd been dealing with prickly soldiers all her life. She knew when to push and when to retreat.
'And if I refuse, do you plan to deny me access to your body?'
'No.'
'Prove it.'
She did, letting go of all of her worries and embracing the pleasure she found in his arms. Emily thought she did not understand her decision to allow Lachlan to touch her, but Cait did. Too well. She needed the intimacy of two bodies coming together with her husband. She needed to feel connected to him, even if it was an illusion.
But how much of an illusion… when they were sacred mates?
Chapter 15
Once again, Lachlan insisted on Emily sitting by his side for the evening meal. Cait and Drustan were absent, so Ulf sat on the other side of the laird and monopolized Lachlan's attention. Emily could not be sure the soldier cut her out of the conversation on purpose, but she suspected that was the case. Ulf really did not like her.
He might be Lachlan's brother, but she wasn't overly fond of him either.
She picked at her food, her attention on the warriors in the hall. Angus was Chrechte. So was Lachlan, but she didn't know about any others. It was easier to watch Angus and look for differences in his demeanor than to watch the laird by her side, but Emily tried to do it covertly.
'Why do you keep looking at my soldier, English?'
So much for subtlety. 'Was I?'
'Maybe she prefers his company,' Ulf said from the other side of Lachlan.
Emily frowned at him. The man was a troublemaker and that was that.
