him years before. He tracked her down.’
‘A romantic,’ says Ursula.
‘Yeah,’ says Marcus. ‘Alfred was great. They didn’t marry but they were together almost twenty years. Grace used to say she’d let him go once before and she didn’t believe in making the same mistake twice.’
‘That sounds like Grace,’ says Ursula.
‘Alfred used to tease her: he’d say it was just as well she was an archaeologist. The older he got, the more interested in him she became.’
Ursula laughs. ‘What happened to him?’
‘He went in his sleep,’ Marcus says. ‘Nine years ago. That’s when Grace moved in here.’
A warm breeze drifts in from the open window, across my closed eyelids. It is afternoon, I think.
Marcus is here. He’s been here some time. I can hear him, near me, scratching away with pen and paper. Sighing every so often. Standing up, walking to the window, the bathroom, the door.
It is later. Ruth comes. She is at my side, strokes my face, kisses my forehead. I can smell the floral of her Coty powder. She sits.
‘Are you writing something?’ she says to Marcus. She is tentative. Her voice strained.
Be generous, Marcus; she’s trying.
‘I’m not sure,’ he says. There’s a pause. ‘I’m thinking about it.’
I can hear them, breathing. Say something, one of you.
‘Inspector Adams?’
‘No,’ says Marcus quickly. ‘I’m considering doing something new.’
‘Oh?’
‘Grace sent me some tapes.’
‘Tapes?’
‘Like letters but recorded.’
‘She didn’t tell me,’ Ruth says quietly. ‘What does she say?’
‘All sorts of things.’
‘Does she… does she mention me?’
‘Sometimes. She talks about what she does each day, but also about the past. She’s lived an amazing life, hasn’t she?’
‘Yes,’ says Ruth.
‘A whole century, from domestic service to a doctorate in archaeology. I’d like to write about her.’ A pause. ‘You don’t mind, do you?’
‘Why would I mind?’ says Ruth. ‘Of course I don’t. Why would I mind?’
‘I don’t know…’ I can hear Marcus shrug. ‘Just had a feeling you might.’
‘I’d like to read it,’ says Ruth firmly. ‘You should write it.’
‘It’ll be a change,’ says Marcus. ‘Something different.’
‘Not a mystery.’
Marcus laughs. ‘No. Not a mystery. Just a nice safe history.’
Ah, my darling. But there is no such thing.
I am awake. Marcus is beside me in the chair, scribbling on a notepad. He looks up.
‘Hello there, Grace,’ he says, and he smiles. He puts his notepad aside. ‘I’m glad you’re awake. I wanted to thank you.’
Thank me? I raise my eyebrows.
‘For the tapes.’ He is holding my hand now. ‘The stories you sent. I’d forgotten how much I liked stories. Reading them, listening to them. Writing them. Since Rebecca… It was such a shock… I just couldn’t…’ He takes a deep breath, gives me a little smile. Begins again. ‘I’d forgotten how much I needed stories.’
Gladness-or is it hope?-hums warmly beneath my ribs. I want to encourage him. Make him understand that time is the master of perspective. A dispassionate master, breathtakingly efficient. I must make some attempt for he says softly, ‘Don’t speak.’ He lifts a hand, strokes my forehead gently with his thumb. ‘Just rest now, Grace.’
I close my eyes. How long do I lie like that? Do I sleep?
When I open my eyes again I say, ‘There is one more.’ My voice is hoarse from lack of use. ‘One more tape.’ I point to the chest of drawers and he goes to look.
He finds the cassette stacked by the photographs. ‘This one?’
I nod.
‘Where’s your cassette player?’ he says.
‘No,’ I say quickly. ‘Not now. For later.’
He is momentarily surprised.
‘For after,’ I say.
He doesn’t say, after what? He doesn’t need to. He tucks it in his shirt pocket and pats it. Smiles at me and comes to stroke my cheek.
‘Thank you, Grace,’ he says softly. ‘What am I going to do without you?’
‘You’re going to be all right,’ I say.
‘Do you promise?’
I don’t make promises, not any more. But I use all my energy to reach up and clutch his hand.
It is dusk: I can tell by the purple light. Ruth is at my bedroom door, a bag under her arm, eyes wide with concern. ‘I’m not too late, am I?’
Marcus gets up and takes her bag, gives her a hug. ‘No,’ he says. ‘Not too late.’
We’re going to watch the film, Ursula’s film, all of us together. A family event. Ruth and Marcus have organised it and seeing them together, making plans, I’m not about to interfere.
Ruth comes to kiss me, arranges a chair so she can sit by my bed.
Another knock at the door. Ursula.
Another kiss on my cheek.
‘You made it.’ This is Marcus, pleased.
‘I wouldn’t miss it,’ says Ursula. ‘Thanks for asking me.’
She sits on my other side.
‘I’ll just drop the blinds,’ says Marcus. ‘Ready?’
The light dims. Marcus drags a chair to sit beside Ursula. Whispers something that makes her laugh. I am enveloped by a welcome sense of conclusion.
The music starts and the film begins. Ruth reaches over and squeezes my hand. We are watching a car, from a great distance, as it winds along a country road. A man and a woman side by side in the front seat, smoking. The woman wears sequins and a feather boa. They reach the Riverton driveway and the car winds its way to the top, and there it is. The house. Huge and cold. She has captured perfectly its bizarre and ruinous glory. A footman comes to greet them and we are in the servants’ hall. I can tell by the floor. The noises. Champagne flutes. Nervous excitement. Up the stairs. The door opens. Across the hall, out onto the terrace.
It is uncanny. The party scene. Hannah’s Chinese lanterns flickering in
