forget the jewels. They are a detail, but details interest me.
'Yours as ever, Clotilde.'
'Your mother must not know of my existence. If questioned swear you never heard of me.'
For years Mrs. Heasant had searched Bertie's correspondence diligently for traces of possible dissipation or youthful entanglements, and at last the suspicions that had stimulated her inquisitorial zeal were justified by this one splendid haul. That any one wearing the exotic name 'Clotilde' should write to Bertie under the incriminating announcement 'as ever' was sufficiently electrifying, without the astounding allusion to the jewels. Mrs. Heasant could recall novels and dramas wherein jewels played an exciting and commanding role, and here, under her own roof, before her very eyes as it were, her own son was carrying on an intrigue in which jewels were merely an interesting detail. Bertie was not due home for another hour, but his sisters were available for the immediate unburdening of a scandal-laden mind.
'Bertie is in the toils of an adventuress,' she screamed; 'her name is Clotilde,' she added, as if she thought they had better know the worst at once. There are occasions when more harm than good is done by shielding young girls from a knowledge of the more deplorable realities of life.
By the time Bertie arrived his mother had discussed every possible and improbable conjecture as to his guilty secret; the girls limited themselves to the opinion that their brother had been weak rather than wicked.
'Who is Clotilde?' was the question that confronted Bertie almost before he had got into the hall. His denial of any knowledge of such a person was met with an outburst of bitter laughter.
'How well you have learned your lesson!' exclaimed Mrs. Heasant. But satire gave way to furious indignation when she realised that Bertie did not intend to throw any further light on her discovery.
'You shan't have any dinner till you've confessed everything,' she stormed.
Bertie's reply took the form of hastily collecting material for an impromptu banquet from the larder and locking himself into his bedroom. His mother made frequent visits to the locked door and shouted a succession of interrogations with the persistence of one who thinks that if you ask a question often enough an answer will eventually result. Bertie did nothing to encourage the supposition. An hour had passed in fruitless one-sided palaver when another letter addressed to Bertie and marked 'private' made its appearance in the letter-box. Mrs. Heasant pounced on it with the enthusiasm of a cat that has missed its mouse and to whom a second has been unexpectedly vouchsafed. If she hoped for further disclosures assuredly she was not disappointed.
'So you have really done it!' the letter abruptly commenced; 'Poor Dagmar. Now she is done for I almost pity her. You did it very well, you wicked boy, the servants all think it was suicide, and there will be no fuss. Better not touch the jewels till after the inquest.
'Clotilde.'
Anything that Mrs. Heasant had previously done in the way of outcry was easily surpassed as she raced upstairs and beat frantically at her son's door.
'Miserable boy, what have you done to Dagmar?'
'It's Dagmar now, is it?' he snapped; 'it will be Geraldine next.'
'That it should come to this, after all my efforts to keep you at home of an evening,'
sobbed Mrs. Heasant; 'it's no use you trying to hide things from me; Clotilde's letter betrays everything.'
'Does it betray who she is?' asked Bertie; 'I've heard so much about her, I should like to know something about her home-life. Seriously, if you go on like this I shall fetch a doctor; I've often enough been preached at about nothing, but I've never had an imaginary harem dragged into the discussion.'
'Are these letters imaginary?' screamed Mrs. Heasant; 'what about the jewels, and Dagmar, and the theory of suicide?'
No solution of these problems was forthcoming through the bedroom door, but the last post of the evening produced another letter for Bertie, and its contents brought Mrs.
Heasant that enlightenment which had already dawned on her son.
'Dear Bertie,' it ran; 'I hope I haven't distracted your brain with the spoof letters I've been sending in the name of a fictitious Clotilde. You told me the other day that the servants, or somebody at your home, tampered with your letters, so I thought I would give any one that opened them something exciting to read. The shock might do them good.
'Yours,
'Clovis Sangrail.'
Mrs. Heasant knew Clovis slightly, and was rather afraid of him. It was not difficult to read between the lines of his successful hoax. In a chastened mood she rapped once more at Bertie's door.
'A letter from Mr. Sangrail. It's all been a stupid hoax. He wrote those other letters. Why, where are you going?'
Bertie had opened the door; he had on his hat and overcoat.
'I'm going for a doctor to come and see if anything's the matter with you. Of course it was all a hoax, but no person in his right mind could have believed all that rubbish about murder and suicide and jewels. You've been making enough noise to bring the house down for the last hour or two.'
'But what was I to think of those letters?' whimpered Mrs. Heasant.
'I should have known what to think of them,' said Bertie; 'if you choose to excite yourself over other people's correspondence it's your own fault. Anyhow, I'm going for a doctor.'
It was Bertie's great opportunity, and he knew it. His mother was conscious of the fact that she would look rather ridiculous if the story got about. She was willing to pay hush-money.
'I'll never open your letters again,' she promised. And Clovis has no more devoted slave than Bertie Heasant.
The Seven Cream Jugs
'I suppose we shall never see Wilfred Pigeoncote here now that he has become heir to the baronetcy and to a lot of money,' observed Mrs. Peter Pigeoncote regretfully to her husband.
'Well, we can hardly expect to,' he replied, 'seeing that we always choked him off from coming to see us when he was a prospective nobody. I don't think I've set eyes on him since he was a boy of twelve.'
