been
`Hello, faun,' said Gerard. 'So you're going to the Courtauld, I'm so glad.'
‘Just off, Rose?' said Leonard. 'Lovely to see you. Violet ha- gone upstairs with your parson!'
`Thanks so much,' said Rose. She opened the door. The new
Gerard handed the glass back to Leonard. `I'm just going to see Rose along.' He picked up his coat which he had thrown down in a corner by the door.
`Don't be long!' Leonard shouted after him. 'Dad wants to see you. Peter Manson's coming, he rang up looking for you, And I want to fix lunch with you tomorrow!'
Rose and Gerard walked away along the road. A slight unconvincing rain was falling, slanted by the east wind Rose began to cry again, silently, covertly into her hand- kerchief.
Gerard said, 'Oh – damn -' Then, 'What's the matter?' `Oh nothing. I've got toothache.'
`I'm sorry. Will you see the dentist?'
`Yes. Look, don't let me keep you.' She checked her rearm and began to walk faster.
`So you're off again to Yorkshire tomorrow.'
`No, I'm not.'
`I thought Neville said so.'
`No. I'm having lunch with them. They've bought a flat in Hampstead.'
`How nice. So they're Londoners now.'
`Do go back, everyone's longing to see you. I can walk from here. I'll get a taxi in a moment anyway.'
`Where are you going?'
`Home. Look, there's a taxi. I'll say goodbye.' `Oh, all right.' Gerard flagged down the taxi and opened the door.
Rose got in. 'Nice to see you. I'll give you a ring sometime.'
`What the hell's the matter with you?' said Gerard. 'Are you ill?'
Rose began to cry again. Gerard got into the taxi and slammed the door and gave the taximan Rose's address. He patted her shoulder but did not put his arm round it. They rode in silence. When they reached Rose's flat and Gerard had paid the driver they mounted the stairs in silence.
They dropped their coats, Rose pulled the curtains and put on the electric fire. She said, 'Would you like a drink?'
`Yes.'
`Sherry?'
`Yes.'
`Anything to eat?'
`No thanks.'
She poured out two glasses.
`What
`Nothing's the matter! Perhaps I should ask you what the matter is! You disappear for weeks. When I ring you say you can't see me, then you don't answer the 'phone, or else you're away God knows where and it hasn't occurred to you to let me know. Well, why should you let me know. I've got no special rights, I'm not part of your family -'
`And I'm not part of your family, if it comes to that. You've evidently decided to live in the north and be a mother to those bright young things! Well, why not. Blood is thicker than water.'
`That's what Reeve says.'
`You make it clear that you've got a home elsewhere!'
`Well, it doesn't affect you. I've never had a home here.'
`That's not true. It depends on what you call a home.'
`Yes, indeed! I never thought I'd see you being jealous and vindictive -'
`I never thought I'd see you behaving like a silly petty female! I'm not jealous. Why the hell should I be?'
`Why indeed. I realise that you have quite another life into which I don't enter and when it suits you you vanish. How’s Derek Wallace?'
'Derek Wallace. That boy who brought that – that proof copy – from Oxford.'
'Rose, are you crazy – or bloody-minded – or what?'
'What do you expect me to do when you disappear-or am I supposed not to think about you? If you
'Rose, do you really imagine -'
'Of course it's not your fault, it's my fault. You've alwayq taken me for granted, that I'll always be there to be kind and useful. I shouldn't have hung around. Plenty of people advised me not to.'
'Well, why did you hang around?' said Gerard. 'I dlihi'i demand it. Of course I took you for granted. I don't see what you're complaining about or why you're suddenly so angry with me.'
'And why do you say 'damn' and 'what the hell's the matter?' and turn up late at a party where you might have known I'd be there wanting to see you! Oh I'm a fool,
'You said something about Gull and Lily getting married.'
'You're changing the subject.'
'It needs changing.'
'Yes, Gulliver's back from Newcastle – and he's got ajoh -and they're going to be married. And Gideon and Pat have adopted Tamar.'
'Have they?'
'Well, they're in charge, they've fixed everything, she's to go back to Oxford, there's to be a
'Good. But who says so?'
'Gideon, he arranges things now. Tamar's got a flat ofliri own, Violet's living at Notting Hill, Tamar's happy, Violct'm happy, all the things you might have done, only you hadn't time and didn't try -'
'I doubt if Violet's happy – but you're quite right that we didn't try enough -'
'Who's 'we'?'
'Rose, just, please, be careful what you say.'
`It's come to that, has it, I have to 'be careful what I say'! What about whatyou say? You accuse me of -'
'What have I accused you of except of being fond of your family?'
'I have no family. You are my family. That means I have no family. I've given you my life and you haven't even noticed.'
'You are talking nonsense which is designed simply to hurt tne. Of course you have family. It looks to me as if Reeve is 'simply taking you over, he's leading you away like a little docile domestic animal.'
'You mean he's exploiting me, he want's a housekeeper?' 'Well, why shouldn't he? He counts on the conventions of family affection.'
'Why 'conventions'? Those people need me and want me, which you have never done.'
'Rose, don't shout at me, you know I can't stand tantrums.'
'I'm not shouting. All right, I'm talking nonsense. It's all much simpler than that. I've always been in love with you and you can't be in love with me, which isn't your fault. But for some reason it's all suddenly become
'What am I supposed to do? Do you want me to go away, now?'
'You mean for ever?'
'Don't be silly. You seem to be finding me unbearable, you are certainly angry with me, I can't think why. It's not a good moment, you are overwrought, perhaps about something else, and I'm being no use here – it might be a sensible idea if I cleared off.'
'You mean someone is waiting for you, you are looking at your watch.'
'Rose, are you
'All right, go then.'