dirt. He pushed up and out and I came after into an alley crowded with rubbish bins and restaurant waste. Smoke poured from the secret shaft and we could hear a rising wail around the corner. Kwan’s head poked out the ground as we dragged ourselves to the alley mouth.
“Shut up,” I said.
He came at me but I pulled out my gun and pointed it at him. It was too much and I was exhausted.
“Bugger off,” I said.
He spat and stamped and slouched away, shaking his fist at me. Jack was laughing broadly, tears streaming down his face.
“You’re a wonder, Mick, really you are. You truly have a gift.”
I was now lightheaded from the dope smoke but had enough presence of mind to straighten up and help Jack walk away as machine guns started clattering.
“Firecrackers,” Jack said.
Jabbering Chinese ran about and one had already wrenched open a fire hydrant as others began a bucket brigade. More limped and scattered away from what would soon be a welter of firemen and police. Jack and I went along St. Urbain and turned left. In a few minutes we were on a quiet street behind St. Patrick’s, where D’Arcy McGee had lain in state after he’d been assassinated in Ottawa. And where was Louis Riel? Buried facedown with a stake through his heart for treason. Old Tomorrow had said, as I did now: “He shall hang though every dog in Quebec bark in his favour.”
From the neighbourhood came a rising howl of wolves roused by the fire engine and ruckus. My hearing had improved. The St. Patrick’s bell rang eight times. Only eight o’clock. It felt much later, the witching hour. Jack sat on the grass near an old wall. I stamped my feet to keep the blood moving. It was cold and I remembered I had nowhere to stay.
“That was bloody marvellous, Mick,” said Jack, shaking his head.
“It was an accident.”
“Of course it was. You’ve a rare talent. The perfect capper to a hell of a night.”
“I agree.”
“Now then, have you any money?” asked Jack.
“Don’t tell me you’re skint again,” I said.
“’Fraid so.”
“Well then.”
That son of a bitch Bob. It was the least I could do to give Jack two hundred dollars without asking where or how he’d lost his own stake. It meant I was down below seven hundred, but I held a hole card that’d make money irrelevant.
“What’re you thinking?” I asked.
“I was thinking how I’ve been nursing a viper at my breast this whole while. Dammit but I was napping.”
“Bob?”
“Aye. Now that Kwan’s buggered I’ve lost a line. What a balls-up. It’s going to take some time to straighten this mess out.”
“I could use some rest myself,” I said disingenuously.
“All right. We’ll split up for the time being. Were I you I’d change hotels.”
“Easy enough.”
“It’s Friday night. Check in a few days at the Hotel X for a message, name of Conrad.”
“You want any help?” I asked.
“Not just now. The money’s enough.”
“What’re you going to do?” I asked.
“Well I won’t whisper. We’ve done it now. Murder.”
Jack sized me up a moment.
“There is that. The wheel spins.”
He got to his feet.
“Remember, the Hotel X,” he said.
“Oke.”
Jack shook his head and reeled off into the darkness. I walked until I came back to Bonaventure. In the station I read an advertisement on a board for the Hotel Boniface so I telephoned in advance for a room, then walked over to Windsor Station and picked up my bag. In the grill I ate a hasty sandwich, drank a coffee, and pocketed a spoon. The hotel was on Dorchester and en route I stopped at a night-owl chemist for an apparatus. At the Boniface I signed the book Thomas Scott, paid three days in advance and asked for a candle. Upstairs behind a locked door I cleaned my hands and face in hot water with soap. I lit the candle, took out the vial from the black metal box I’d stolen, and began. Carefully I tipped salts into a spoon. The colour of the grains told me it was indeed morphine, not heroin, a relief. I fitted together a new hypodermic needle from the drugstore and bound my arm tightly with a towel. The salt and water solution I heated in the spoon and when it was ready I filled the device, drew the mixture, and injected myself. Slowly I blew out the candle, felt pain withdraw, and soon was gone to another place far away.
INTERREGNUM NARCOTICUM
THERE WAS ENOUGH morphine in the vial to keep me from pressing concerns for a considerable length of time. My injuries receded, and I fell into a deep lassitude born from physical exhaustion. Betimes I slept behind a locked door, loaded revolver by my side. When I woke I made another injection and watched the sun move across the arch of the sky. Inward flooded a bliss, and later, fear.
Through a blunted consciousness arrived concerns for my fate. Besides the transgressions I’d committed and the failure of my life, now the fatal substance had returned and clutched me in its grip. Soon all other considerations would dwindle and it’d be the drug alone that I’d seek, its peace. I looked at my wounds from the automobile collision and a purple bruise on my chest that described part of the wheel’s arc.
Later the hotel room took on the dimensions of a prison cell. Unsettling fancies: a warrant out for my arrest, everything known to the world. Footsteps in the hallway were the police come to take me away. The wide-open brown eyes of the man in the saloon ’car stared at me as I pulled the trigger and plunged the hypodermic syringe home. A warm itch turned to a settled coolness and calm.
I was a slave to Venus, a scorned acolyte. Babe Ruth beat Celeste the good-time girl from the whorehouse with his baseball bat. Laura melted into shadows in a palace on a mountain with a knave. Queen of Diamonds, Queen of Hearts, and I a deuce or trey or Fool. The lovers in the garden beneath the sun. Jack and the magician Houdini building the Tower. Laura my love, priestess of desire, a whore like all the rest. I should’ve forgiven her but I couldn’t. The devil in womankind’s cunning. Satan wasn’t a fallen angel lording it in heaven but a small voice whispering in a dirty alleyway: “Would you like to experience the ultimate pleasure?”
Pain crept back and a forewarning of this stage lead me to the bathroom where I heaved, nauseated. I’d taken too much in haste. It was dawn or evening by the light; a chambermaid or sin-eater worked in the hallway. My instructions to the clerk: Do not disturb Room 34. When I opened the window I smelled pollen, as though spring had returned. The air was cold. From the far end of the world sounded the long low moan of a train’s whistle, the heartbreaking sound of remotest melancholy, a soul in the far country. You’ll join it, for you’ve killed a man.
the sabbath. Saturday had vanished and a fickle rain fell. Now I rested cocooned from the world, a deadly chrysalis. What would I become? Nothing better, certainly. When was the last time you did a turn for your fellow man? Never a nickel to a beggar or a kind word for the stranger on the street. Instead you harboured fantasies of revenge. With the money you have it’d be better to end this; take a suite at the Ritz and cut your throat in the bath. Instead, I switched to my right arm for the next injection, then took especial care dressing. Freshly attired I went onto the street and into a swarming plague of gnats.
I set a pace on Stanley and felt a new bloom of strength as I walked uphill. In need of retreat I followed the
