Final Breath

were sniffing around a Cicero bar, asking questions about Polly.'

'Who told you?' she asked, running a hand over her damp hair.

'Never mind,' he grumbled. He plopped down on the bed, rubbed his forehead, and sighed. 'The point is, you're linking my name with his. You don't know how much damage you're doing, Syd.'

'What about the damage you've done, Joe?' she asked, pointedly. 'I know about the money. I found it today in the garage--in that metal box you've hidden. It's your cut of that drug-bust swindle, isn't it?'

His mouth open, Joe just stared at her.

Sydney felt tears welling in her eyes. 'The minute you took that money, Joe, you ruined our marriage. You ruined this family.'

'You don't know the circumstances.'

'Fine. Look me in the eye and tell me you've switched to Internal Affairs work and this is all some undercover thing. I'll believe you, Joe. I want to believe you. Tell me this money doesn't have blood on it. Tell me I'm wrong, and in a month or so all of this will be switched around and you're going to be my hero again--instead of some low-life corrupt cop on the take.'

He gave her a wounded look. 'Is that what you think I am?'

'What am I supposed to think? Every time I've asked you about this sordid business, you've been evasive or you've snapped at me, or you've lied to me. So what really happened, Joe? It can't be any worse than what I've imagined.'

He gazed down at the floor, then rubbed his eyes.

'I'm thinking you and the three other cops killed those two guys,' Sydney answered for him. 'Then you set fire to their van to make it look like an accident--but not until you'd already unloaded the drugs. How much did you get for the cocaine? Did Polly demand a cut? Is that why he was killed?'

'You're not very far off,' he said quietly. 'Sydney, I didn't know what the other guys were up to until it was too late. If I hadn't gone along with them, they would have shot me right there.'

She gazed at him. 'Did you kill anybody?'

He turned and looked her in the eye. 'No, honey, I didn't.'

'How much did they steal?'

'Over half a million's worth,' he muttered.

'And how much was your cut?'

'Thirty-two thousand,' he answered. 'But I wasn't going to spend any of it. You can go look in that metal box again and count it if you want. It's all still there. I'm thinking of anonymously donating the whole wad to charity.'

'No, you aren't,' she argued. 'You might have convinced yourself of that on the surface. But I know you, Joe, and you don't spend money you don't have. We can't afford a big-screen, high-definition TV, but you bought one because you knew you had some money to fall back on in a pinch. You're spending it already, and you don't even know it.' She shook her head at him. 'Why didn't you just turn around and give the money to Len? He's your superior officer. You trust him. If you were really coerced into this swindle, why didn't you go to Len and explain it to him? Why not go public with this?'

'Believe me, I couldn't,' he said, exasperated. 'It's too complicated to explain. Once I took that money, I was screwed. But if I hadn't taken it, they would have killed me. Would you rather have me dead right now?'

Sydney just stared at him. He was being evasive again.

He let out a cynical laugh. 'Huh, of course you'd rather have me dead. Just think what that would do for your ratings if you were the widow of a murdered cop.'

His words stung. She continued to glare at him. 'And just think of how fast my career would go down the toilet if news of your involvement in this heist ever got out. Think about Eli, and how this would devastate him.' She moved to a stuffed chair in the corner of the room and sat down. Sydney nervously rubbed her leg. She felt her whole body tensing up. 'Joe, I--I've been wondering what I should do--if all this was true. I'll keep your secret, but I can't stay with you. I'm sorry, but you crossed a line when you took that money and hid it. You crossed it when you lied to me and made me ashamed of you. This isn't some little scandal. I'd stand by you if it was something like that. But people were killed, Joe. And I--I can't pretend that didn't happen.'

He gazed down at the floor. 'So what are you going to do? Where will you go?' He shook his head. 'Because I'm not moving out of this house, that's for sure.'

She was surprised at the sudden anger in his tone. 'School ends next week,' she said steadily. 'I'll take Eli, and we'll stay with my brother in Seattle for a while--at least until I figure out something more permanent.'

Joe got to his feet. 'You know, this didn't have to happen,' he grumbled. 'If only you'd kept your fucking mouth shut and believed in me. You never gave a crap about my work until this. And now, thanks to your snooping around, they're breathing down my neck. These guys have it out for me. But go ahead, desert me, sweetheart. Hell, I'm used to it. Maybe if you were home for a change while all this shit was going down, I might have had some support. Maybe I wouldn't be in this bind right now.'

Sydney stood up. 'Don't try to blame this on me--'

'Why wait until next week to leave?' he yelled. He flung open her closet door, then yanked her two suitcases off the shelf. 'Why don't you find yourself a nice hotel tonight, huh?' He flung her suitcases on the bed. 'Start packing. I don't want to see any of your shit in here tonight. Anything you leave behind I'll throw in the fucking garbage. And don't worry about Eli. You never did before. I'll call the McKennas and ask them to put him up for the night. Then he can stay with you tomorrow, and he'll see what it's like to be on the road with his mom for a change.'

She moved toward him. 'Joe, stop being this way. Don't you think--'

But she didn't finish. He hauled back his fist and hit her across the face.

The blow sent Sydney flying back, and she slammed into the dresser. She landed in a heap on the floor. Stunned, she couldn't see anything for a few moments. A high-pitched ringing filled her ears. Her head felt like it was going to explode, and then the side of her face started throbbing.

Sydney caught her breath and blinked a few times until he came into focus.

Joe stood over her, his hand still clenched in a fist. But he had such a tormented look on his face, she thought he might start crying. Tears welled in his eyes, and he shook visibly. 'Just get out,' he whispered.

Then he turned and stomped out of the bedroom.

Sydney did what Joe told her to do. She packed two suitcases and two boxes and spent the night at a Holiday Inn. She phoned Kyle and asked if she and Eli could stay with him the following week. Kyle kept saying she sounded terrible, and Sydney admitted that Joe had hit her. She didn't tell him anything else.

She refilled her ice bucket twice--for the homemade cold compresses she applied to her face most of the night. Not surprisingly, she didn't sleep well. She was worried about Eli and how his parents separating would destroy the poor kid. He wouldn't want to leave Joe. They were so close.

At one point in the evening, Sydney finally got out of bed and wandered to the window. She pushed the curtain aside a bit and peered outside at her car, parked just a few feet away. Three spaces down from that was Joe's Honda Civic. Sydney wasn't sure why he was there. Did he plan to kick down her door and beat her up some more? He'd never hurt her before tonight. It was like he was a different man. She didn't know what he might do.

The light from the green Holiday Inn sign illuminated the front seat of his Civic. He sat at the wheel, looking miserable and staring off in another direction. Even in the distance, she could tell he was crying.

He wasn't there when she woke up in the morning. But his older sister, Helen, was. A stocky brunette with a pretty face, Helen was divorced, and lived in Evanston with her twin seventeen-year-old sons. Sydney liked Helen, despite her habit of telling everyone what to do. 'You and Eli are staying with me and the boys until you work this thing out with Joe,' she announced in the doorway of Sydney's hotel room.

'Oh, Helen, I don't think Joe and I have much chance of working things out,' she admitted. Her hair a mess and her face badly bruised, Sydney was still in her robe. 'How did you know where to find me?'

'Joe told me. He isn't a detective for nothing. So you'll stay with us until you come up with Plan B, whatever that is. I won't take no for an answer. Eli should be with you right now, but not here in some hotel. He should be with family. The boys will keep him entertained and distracted. If you're moving out of the house, I'll help you find some movers who aren't going to rip you off.'