The last laconic phrase was pregnant with horror: at six or seven, Payton Price had realized that his father was insane, his brother helpless. 'Is that when you started hiding him?' she asked.
Another fleeting smile. 'He told you about that?'
'He kept talking about the bush.'
'He liked it there. But there was nothin' I could do to hide that boy enough—he was just so stupid. When my mama was passed out, and Daddy gone, sometime I'd have to find their money and go to the store for food, then get back to the house, all without gettin' rolled. No way to do that and take Rennell. So I'd tie him to the bedpost so he wouldn't try and follow me and get hisself run over.' Payton folded his hands in front of him. 'I could see why Daddy wanted to cuff him. Couldn't do a thing with him—too stupid even to keep hisself away from old Vernon. He'd just take it and take it and take it, like that was how his life was s'posed to be.'
Listening, Terri felt a frisson of pity: for the older brother, riven by compassion, anger, and contempt, and more piercingly, for Rennell. The scapegoat, he must surely have grown to believe himself deserving of the most arbitrary abuse, and been both mystified and pathetically grateful for Payton's every protective act. 'Did your mother try to protect him?' she asked.
Payton stared at his hands. 'She'd cuff him, too. He was so pitiful he just brought more trouble down on her— Daddy always pissed at her for givin' him such a stupid child.' Payton's voice grew harsh with memory. 'All I had to do was look at either one of them, and I could see trouble comin'. Rennell didn't have no clue. So I was stuck with him.'
Terri cocked her head. 'Why did you bother?'
Payton looked up at her with a bleak smile which never reached his eyes. 'Ever wake up at night to hear a child screaming 'cause his daddy's stripped him naked and made him sit on a radiator so hot it's spittin' steam and water? That's a sound you don't want to hear but once.'
Paul Rubin's eyes closed briefly, reflecting the nausea Terri felt. Softly, she asked, 'Is that why Rennell couldn't sleep?'
Payton nodded. 'Way too scared to sleep. No way out for him at all—neighbors were scared of Daddy, their kids don't want nothin' to do with Rennell. Only place it's safe is on the streets, and even there you gotta get by, get food, and keep Rennell out of trouble. I figured it out for both of us.'
'Dealing crack?'
Payton shook his head. 'Rennell wasn't no good there, either. Too slow to be muscle—got hisself beat up on. The one time I let him deal he wound up with a stretch in juvenile hall. Come out a whole different person.'
'How so?'
Payton sat back, eyes veiled as though remembering. 'At our grandma's we each had our own room. But when Rennell come back he wanted to sleep with me. 'Cept he couldn't sleep—he'd pace up and down half the night, and when I'd make him lay on the bed he'd do it in his street clothes, holdin' his pocketknife and layin' on his back. First all he told me was 'You don't never sleep facedown in lockup.' '
For Terri, the last detail held a premonition. 'And later?'
'He finally wore hisself out so bad he fell asleep. I could feel him twistin' up the sheets. Then he started screamin' 'Stop' over and over, sweat streamin' down his face, both hands gripping his jeans by the belt loops.' Payton looked up at Terri, voice softer. 'He didn't have to tell me nothin' then.'
'Did he ever tell you?'
'Never made him. Just made him sleep alone. Boy couldn't sleep without no nightmares.'
For an instant, silent, Terri flashed on Elena. Absently, Rubin removed his glasses and began to wipe them. 'Always the same nightmare?' Terri asked.
'No.' Payton sounded tired now. 'Sometimes about Mama and Daddy.'
'What exactly?'
Payton seemed to slump, his air of laconic composure slipping away. 'Daddy used to tie her naked to a door handle and whip her with a belt. Made us watch that. Then he'd fuck her in the booty till she couldn't cry no more. Watchin' made Rennell cry, too. Still cryin' about it when he's eighteen.' Briefly, Payton shrugged. 'Maybe now, for all I know. Don't sleep with him no more.'
Terri sat back, quiet for a moment. Payton looked up at her. 'No more questions, counselor? Spent enough time at the zoo?'
'Not yet,' she answered with some effort. 'I've been reading the police reports from when your mother stabbed your father. All they tell me is that she did, not what happened before.'
Payton's eyes narrowed slightly. 'That's 'cause I never told 'em,' he said at length. 'You really want to know?'
'Yes.'
'Our daddy made Mama suck Rennell's dick.'
Startled, Terri shuddered: in one sentence, Payton had cast her worst imaginings of Rennell and Thuy Sen, and what psychology might underlie it—as well as the potental reason for Rennell's stubborn refusal to admit the act itself—in a horrific new light. 'After all Daddy did,' Payton added conversationally, 'a nine-year-old's dick seems like a small thing to kill him over. But I guess Mama had her standards.'
Terri gazed at him, face cradled in one hand, her stomach feeling raw and empty. Rubin slumped in his chair.
Softly, Terri asked, 'What happened with Thuy Sen?'
Twitching to life, Rubin clamped a hand on Payton's wrist. 'He can't answer that,' the lawyer snapped at Terri.
Payton faced him. 'You don't know the answer,' he said. 'Gonna die, man—no help for that at all. Might as well
